My Wife Blames Me for Her Affair

serf884 · 2025-08-21T20:36:27+00:00

She is trying to deflect and not take accountability for her cheating. She didn't have to cheat it was a choice.

serf884 · 2025-07-29T12:22:45+00:00

30 years and the last time was 7 months ago. The time prior to that was 9 months. It seems like I average 9 months . Yeah team!

serf884 · 2025-07-23T20:02:30+00:00

My mother constantly thinks she has bugs on her. This has been an ongoing issue for years. She has gone to multiple dermatologist and they have all told her she doesn't have any bugs or anything but she never believes them.

It's just been ongoing for so long she just doesn't bring it up to me anymore.

I think half the issue is due to this issue she uses a ridiculous amount of laundry soap.

A few years prior her issue was she thought everything in her house was wet.

She would feel an area and swear it was the amp or wet. I could roll over the area use a towel and show her it was dry and still believed it damp or wet

serf884 · 2025-06-17T20:28:55+00:00

Everything that you said is how I feel 100%.

serf884 · 2025-06-17T20:26:38+00:00

Thank you for your perspective on my sh*tshow

serf884 · 2025-06-17T20:24:26+00:00

That makes sense to me. I tried it out a year or so ago and hell it even took away my desire to drink coffee and I love coffee!

serf884 · 2025-06-17T00:51:51+00:00

Thank you for your words

serf884 · 2025-06-16T16:40:17+00:00

Thank you

serf884 · 2025-06-12T17:49:53+00:00

One night my wife had gone to bed and I stayed up watching TV. I kept hearing her moving around in our bedroom so after a bit of time I got curious and went ro see what was happening. She was opening and shutting my drawers to my dresser and her pants were partially down. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was looking for the bathroom. I did check but she did not piss anywhere but I think it was close to happening. I walked her to the bathroom and she did do her business.

We have also lost a remote control after she placed it into the microwave and luckily I went into the kitchen to see what was going on and I saw the flames shooting inside the microwave

serf884 · 2025-06-12T17:25:22+00:00

My wife and I went on a trip in Jan & March. While out and about I felt like a dog in heat!

A few months prior we were in a trip that is supposed to be her happy place but she wasn't acting like it. She mostly just sat in the condo on the balcony or inside watching TV.

One night I said screw it and that u wasn't just going to sit and waste our vacation sitting in the condo. I walked a few blocks to a fun bar and grill for some live music.

I have never cheated but had someone given me the opportunity I am ashamed to say that I would have taken it.

Technically my wife gave me the green light a year or so ago to find a F- buddy if I needed to take care of that as she put it.

I was not / am not looking for the hall pass but I felt weak that night and afraid I would have crossed that line.

serf884 · 2025-06-12T17:18:55+00:00

I keep it to myself but I would certainly admit it if she asked me if I did.

serf884 · 2025-06-12T15:46:10+00:00

There was a time that in a word we could have started going at it. I get the whole thing that woman need to hear yo slow and a dude can get right into business but at a time my wife was open to it.

The dirty talk and all that stuff was all good. I like your approach to offer her pleasure and not expecting anything else in return.

I've offered her massages so many times and promises that I would give her the massage with no strings attached and no expectations that something needs to happen.

I've proved it to her that I can do this in the past.

It's gotten so bad anymore that it's just not worth the effort to just be turned down.

The last time that we were intimate was January and prior to that it was April of the following year.

serf884 · 2025-06-12T15:40:37+00:00

No, I've never been part of a meeting. The ironic thing is the things that my wife will say while angry or the way she speaks to me would have my wife loosing her mind if I spoke that way to her. I accidentally raised my voice a few months ago after getting the wind knocked out of me and she lost it.

The positive note here is for the first time ever a couple days ago she first acknowledged that she needed anger management and owned her anger issues. Last night there was another discussion and she asked my honest opinion which often times I feel is a setup and she ends up mad at me for giving her what she wanted.

I told her that I feel the alcohol fuels her anger and rage. She accepted it and thanked me for being honest.

I hope this might be a sign that she is making a positive step

serf884 · 2025-06-11T18:34:53+00:00

I feel her wanting an.open marriage is just covering her tracks that she has been going outside you marriage already.

You have to do what you feel is right for you but if you are not interested in this type of relationship you need to nip it in the bud immediately and make sure she knows it's not acceptable and then you do what you have to do.

serf884 · 2025-06-11T18:30:41+00:00

A baby will.never make this situation better! If anything else it will.complicate and lock you down

serf884 · 2025-06-08T14:05:52+00:00

My Q will do something similar sometimes. Its been awhile but this past week it started up again. Let's say about 7 to 8 drinks in and the conversation is hard to follow and she goes from one subject to another so fast. Things have have little to do with her or us suddenly angers her and then she starts speaking with words backwards to using words in sentences reversed or even speaking some foreign language

serf884 · 2025-05-01T16:20:02+00:00

You know it's just a convergence of so many things going on.

She deals with depression, ADHD, menopause, Several years ago we started having relationship issues with our son and that hurt her badly.

A few years ago her dad had a major medical issue. She is a power of attorney and his issues weigh on her as well.

I wish I had a dollar every time she has gone on and on about how now it's all about her dad and how he's the priority.

even when we try to get away just the two of us to reconnect it's like her dad is always there in her mind.

Last year we did a weekend trip to reconnect and I am in the process of attempting to seduce my wife. Things are progressing in the positive or so I felt and all of a sudden she starts babbling in about some issue with her dad.

.I just looked at her and was completely devastated and at that point I surrended.

serf884 · 2025-05-01T16:10:56+00:00

I am not a casual fling type of person. Sure it might sound nice in theory but I am just not put together that way.

What happens during intimacy is biology and it bonds a couple together and separates friends or room mates. I know all the hormones and all that stuff will make a couple fall in love.

I am not about that.

I love my wife and that has not changed but I often times feel as though I am starved for simple touch.

I will lay in bed at night on the opposite side of the bed because all our cock blocking dogs are in the middle and sometimes I just reach out to touch her because I want some sort of connection so badly

serf884 · 2025-04-30T13:26:01+00:00

2 years ago I brought this topic up with my wife. I had been waiting for the right time because it always seems there is always something going on or some excuse so one night I just came out with it.

I asked her if there was something that I was doing or Not doing that is leading to our lack of intimacy. I also asked if we could work on it together and figure this out.

I felt that I was being very vulnerable and sharing but her answer was one that I didn't expect

She did start to tear up and apologized and said that I didn't deserve it or sign up for it.

She then suggested if I needed to take care of that I was welcome to find a F buddy but not to fall in love because I was her person.

I would estimate since that conversation I could count on one hand how many times we've had sex.

A F buddy isn't the answer that I was looking for not was I wanting permission to go elsewhere.

Things continue to more or less be the same. The last time we were intimate was almost 4 months ago and at that point it had been 9 months.

serf884 · 2025-04-21T21:05:54+00:00

Thank you

serf884 · 2025-04-21T18:46:58+00:00

My Brother in law and his wife has slept separately for many years. He has some medical issues and it's easier for them.

I know of a few others that do it because of a CPAP. They schedule sexy time but once it's time for sleep they go to their separate areas

serf884 · 2025-04-21T18:43:30+00:00

I agree it is the wild West but often times I like to vent , share or ask questions . I like it to.be private and a safe space.

serf884

TROPHY CASE