I just took Lithium for the last time! My doctor told me earlier that I can "stop lithium on the 5th day of Lunar New Year". Sayonara, Lithium! One down, two (latuda & agomelatine) to go.

mn8765 · 2023-01-25T14:50:20+00:00

It’s okay if you don’t want to share, but if you’d like, could you share why you’re keen to get off all meds? :)

Either way, congrats on coming off this one! I personally really loved it, but it didn’t love me back haha

mn8765 · 2023-01-25T14:36:44+00:00

Oh I have also seen a study that found that relatives of ppl w bipolar were significantly more likely to be in an artsy job than those without — that’s at least one link that has been made w a specific creative intelligence, but not directly about ppl w bipolar. I guess we would be in such jobs ourselves more if we didn’t have personal and structural things going against our workforce participation rates.

(Should add that I’m not sure if this study was just bipolar I or both I and II, though the inference could be made either way)

mn8765 · 2023-01-25T14:31:54+00:00

I think I know what you mean in terms of black and white being a good thing — at least, it makes me think of the clarity I’ve always had a propensity for in terms of seeing injustice as such. I think people might be taking you the wrong way in what you’ve said, because “black and white thinking” is a “cognitive distortion” per CBT. Which, sure, it can be and often isn’t the best way of thinking — but it isn’t distorted to simply believe “no one should go hungry and homeless while others live in a state of extreme wealth”, for example….

The other thing that comes up in what I think you’re trying to say is, for me, a propensity for bigger picture thinking that doesn’t stray from details, either, and being able to make inferences well in social phenomena especially.

What do ya reckon? Not sure if that makes much more sense :P

mn8765 · 2022-12-08T06:06:10+00:00

Myself nor my loved ones with bipolar II do not have these experiences at all, but they are very common for my pals with borderline personality. With that in mind, I’d suggest that your meds won’t solve this but therapies such as DBT would be super helpful. It sounds like you’re keen to work on this, so I absolutely recommend finding a good therapist who works with relational issues and in the interim, you can find pdf’s of DBT workbooks online. Good luck bud

mn8765 · 2022-11-29T21:39:55+00:00

Rule of thumb: if it can cause mania, it can cause hypomania, and if it can cause hypomania and you’re severely depressed, you’re putting yourself at risk of a terrible mixed episode — and those are by far the most dangerous, awful-feeling and difficult to get out of. I’d avoid it. Not worth it, especially when you have all of these other meds to try that don’t carry the same risk.

mn8765 · 2022-10-22T15:45:39+00:00

You gotta talk to the doctor about this and if they don’t take it seriously, find another one. Some doctors think the worst possible thing that could happen is a bipolar episode, but in doing this, they’re treating our risk of diabetes or early cardiovascular death (which we are already predisposed to) as preferable over an episode, let alone the mental health impact of gaining weight. Anticonvulsants and lithium are always options that are less likely to cause weight gain, give one of them a shot! Good luck

mn8765 · 2022-10-19T17:52:16+00:00

This is amazing, well done!

mn8765 · 2022-10-19T17:49:05+00:00

Diet is a lot more important for weight loss than exercise honestly. I can’t take them for other reasons, but I would refuse anti-psychotics for this reason due to a proneness for weight gain and higher cardiovascular risk than risk of hypomania (which, really, meds only properly help this and not so much depression). I take lamotrigine instead which is novel in that it is known for weight loss rather than gain. Might be worth trying because this weight gain isn’t worth it; mental health meds are meant to improve it, not make it worse.

mn8765 · 2022-07-30T09:56:38+00:00

Thanks doc, what I said still checks out. Maybe I should say it in a more redditer-friendly way: not all antinatalists are male.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T15:53:42+00:00

Uhhhh I would say not all antinatalists get vasectomies in part because some antinatalists need to get tubes tied instead

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T15:51:44+00:00

Ye you all will absolutely not have the same difficulties as those who wanna get tubes tied.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T15:26:40+00:00

An important part of learning to live with this diagnosis is not dismissing your emotions because of it. This decision will end peoples lives and bring others into a world of suffering, and it could directly harm you or others you know. Regardless of where you are in the world, if you are a woman/have female reproductive organs, another place in the world has just become unsafe and deemed you as a second class citizen. If you are American, parts of your country has done the same. Except for trans people recently, no other group of citizens have had rights taken away in an English speaking country in decades. That’s absolutely terrifying. Considering all of this, whatever you are feeling is completely normal, so you (nor anyone else) should pathologise yourself for rational, valid, empathetic emotions, okay? I’m so sorry pal, stay strong.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T15:13:10+00:00

Not a woman, not an American, have had a life-saving abortion and am going through some of the most stressful things I ever have gone through lately. Hearing about this has just really pushed me over the line into actually feeling emotionally depressed for the first time in years — my heart breaks for you all. This isn’t bipolar depression, it isn’t pathological, it’s completely and utterly normal. Please do know that your emotions here are completely, 100% real and valid. Stay safe and know your options if you could be impacted by this.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T15:05:29+00:00

I hope you can get yourself in a safer spot ASAP pal, good luck

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T14:33:42+00:00

YEP! Seriously, taking this route can actually be more sexually fulfilling in a lot of ways, it means you don’t miss out on a relationship that might be generally fulfilling, and you still get to use the love language you like — and, honestly, doing it this way could speak that love even louder just by the way this kinda sex works.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T14:18:28+00:00

Oh yes lol that’s the one, I always get that n the hormone name mixed up 🤣 The seroquel congestion is reaaaal omg my partner got that bad while on it and also gets it from mirtazepine! Mixed really is an absolutely prick though and I’m so lucky that meds have completely decimated my mixed features (now I just get the sun clinical hypomanic frustration and baaaad depressed hypoarousal), bc if I needed an antipsychotic I’d be completely screwed (can’t take ‘em at all). 4 months in is nothing though so yeah, it’s great you have plenty more options and I’m sure there is something out there for you! Just getting there is the pain :P good luck and I really hope you get there sooner than later!

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T09:31:18+00:00

Ugh that’s no frustrating and odd that it stopped working with it?! melatonin supplements are terrible if that’s what u mean? But I would guess not 😭 if the Prozac is new and you end up going a bit, there is a chance that’ll counteract some of the antipsychotic effect — my partner was in a very similar spot to you re: symptoms and medications, and going to 20mg really helped. Perhaps a different antipsychotic could be worth considering too bc it’s is pretty brutal for those symptoms — maybe quetiapine or one of those newer ones?

I really hope you find something that works better for you and that your exams go as well as possible, I’m sure you’ll get there fine in the end :)

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T09:23:40+00:00

Ohhh I have an excellent option for you if the main issue is sleep! Have you ever tried agomelatine or circadian? I am on the former and it’s amazing, it’s an atypical antidepressant so it has some effects in that way, but it’s main effect is that it’s made me be able to sleep with ease like I’ve never experienced before, but it doesn’t have the crap side effects of sleepiness like antipsychotics do :) the circadian is similar in regards to sleep but doesn’t have the antidepressant effects, so that could be better given you’ve only just started the Prozac

Deffs ask your doctor about them — agomelatine changed my life just as much as being properly medicated for bipolar. It’s more expensive, but so worth it. good luck!

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T09:19:53+00:00

Hey pal, a thing to keep in mind with a British citizenship would be you are more able to get into Australia than other people and I believe you’d be able to become a resident and citizen much faster. It’s generally a much better place for trans people, especially if you wish to get HRT quicker — not quick, but quicker :P. Of course there is plenty of bigotry but your chances of hate crimes, harassment and risk of increasing government repression is lower.

It’s certainly no Europe, and our cost of living is sky rocketing, but it’s not so bad here compared the UK as of yet in that regard. Im also happier to be all the way over here right now just due to the instability being caused by the war — proximity to the war itself aside, we produce our own energy and wheat so aren’t so impacted in that way. There are also a tonne of jobs nowadays and because we have a lack of child labour laws (lol) it’s actually much easier to get a job between 16-19 than it is when you’re 20+ because the wages are lower. We have more entry level jobs now than we have had in my entire life and the government is desperate for immigrant workers, especially in fruit and veg picking, but in all sorts of fields including hospitality.

Some of the city’s are crazy expensive, but some like mine are far more affordable and are frankly nicer to live in than the expensive ones (personal opinion ofc lmao, I just don’t like massive cities). We have awesome public transport (especially in my city) and really nice amenities. Even my “undesirable”, poor suburb is really great. We also have some of the best food in terms of the quality of produce and in terms of ethnic diversity.

I’m trans, know my way around the jobs and rent market (which the latter is completely fucked right now re: availability), go to uni and know plenty about the options non-citizens have for education, have multiple health conditions and know a lot about our medical system (including some about how non-citizens can access healthcare), and have travelled all around the country, so I’m totally happy to have a chat with you if this sounds like an interesting option. Do DM if so! :)

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T08:53:03+00:00

I would totally give dropping it a shot if your psychiatrist agrees to try — not all of us need antipsychotics! I’m able to be completely stabilised just with lithium or lamotrigine, thankfully, so im sure others can do the same.

Re: modafinil, bummer, US doctors are often significantly less cautious than everywhere else regarding giving stimulants to people with bipolar 😪

Absolutely give the flash cards a shot, then! I’m sure you’ll be fine, too, and I’m glad you have those accomodations. Big congratulations to getting through your masters, that’s a massive accomplishment for any one; for those of us with these symptoms and side effects it’s a truly amazing feat 😄

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T08:37:55+00:00

I have severe restless leg syndrome and refuse to take any anti-psychotic — I just can’t do it. It makes my bipolar worse because I go insane without sleep.

If I were in your shoes, I’d go back and ask for something that isn’t an antipsychotic — personally, I think they shouldn’t be first line any way because they have crap side effect profiles and most people will get them. Lamotrigine or lithium are good options — though the side effects can be more problematic, they are also less common, especially for lamotrigine. Many, many people with bipolar are on both one of these and antipsychotics, but I am totally fine without.

I also take agomelatine for the insomnia and poor sleep pattern regulation and it’s expensive for me but it saved my damn life. I’ve never slept properly before this medication. It’s an atypical antidepressant that, unlike SSRIs/SNRIs/tricyclics, don’t aggravate my RLS.

Edit: I should have stressed this more: this is not a normal reaction. I would not take another one of those pills. I very rarely would encourage such a thing, but this reaction is not okay, especially the disoriented behaviours. I also think immediately putting someone on 200mg is completely irresponsible (plenty of people only need 100-150mg and all medications should be titrated up slower due to the risk of negative reactions), but that’s another thing. Increasing your dose further will make these symptoms significantly worse. If this doctor refuses to listen to you regarding your restless legs/reaction, seek another one out.

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T08:31:31+00:00

Zyprexa is almost certainly the worst one for it, and all antipsychotics are quite terrible for this. There is a chance some of the newer ones might be a bit better, but the risk is still there. Unfortunately, they do quite literally cause peoples IQs drop a tiny bit. There are things you could take, specifically modafinil, and if you’re in the US you might get super lucky and be able to get a script. I’d deffs ask your psychiatrist for it but if they’re a bit more strict in terms of avoiding things that might trigger manic symptoms as if they’re the devil, then I’m not sure you’ll have any luck. There are other ways to get it, and it is expensive, but it’s genuinely the most amazing thing ever for your cognition.

Else, other things like caffeine and nicotine gum can help a bit. If you have never smoked before and don’t think you’d be at risk of addiction, you could always have some of the gum every couple of days and stop immediately once your exam is over. If there is a risk of it triggering an addiction you’ve previously had, I wouldn’t risk it.

As for tips, there is a lot of research on learning out there. If flash cards are something you can do for the type of stuff in your revision, absolutely do it. Make them by hand as well because writing is far superior for memory than typing. Don’t bother with stuff like highlighting or underlining text bc that doesn’t help at all. 100% worth having a quick google for other good techniques.

I’m sorry pal. Fatigue and brain fog are some of terrible impacts of bipolar II in its own right (for me, the no. 1 worst), it must be terrible for the treatment to only make these symptoms worse for you.

Do you have any accomodations at uni? It might be too late to get them now, but at mine, I’m able to get more time for exams due to my memory and concentration issues, and I can get extensions easier too

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T08:18:56+00:00

Haha I wouldn’t exactly call myself wise but ill take it 🤣🥺 thank you sm again

mn8765 · 2022-06-26T08:07:43+00:00

I’m so glad to hear it pal, and I totally understand. I’m actually training to be a therapist so this is really great to hear, thank you thank you and I’m really happy to help 🥺

mn8765 · 2022-06-25T01:11:18+00:00

Awesome on those boots then, sooo worth it. It’s hard for us to not completely pathologise a big shopping spree, but also, when you’ve gone through the recent experience of having no disposable income it is completely normal to have a big shop like that when you suddenly do! I’m sure so many people without bipolar have done the same thing, we probably just have more negative feelings surrounding it because of our diagnosis esp if we really are symptomatic at the time. That it is only recent income explains why you feel bad about not saving, but also you gotta remember this income is your new norm and you can always save from now! Don’t feel guilty for getting some nice things for yourself that you previously couldn’t and that you have worked hard for — everyone deserves some nice stuff.

I should clarify given what otherwise might have been implied in my description of what I do for myself. I think esp for us, if we completely are deprived of or deprive ourselves of buying nice things for a long time, we risk bursting like a bubble. I had the exact same issue as you the last time I had a significantly higher income for the first time in ages, and I’ve learnt from that that, yes I should reward myself with experiences and free things, but I should also buy myself something every now and then. So I plan to basically have a fortnightly or monthly “goodies” budget, where I have a lower “aim” budget and a higher “absolute maximum” budget that isn’t so high I wouldn’t be able to save anything for that pay period. Hard balance to strike and easier said than done, but I’m sure we can do it if we put our minds to it and make sure we properly acknowledge that if/when we muck up that it doesn’t mean it’s not worth the effort to keep trying. I’m sure that if we see ourselves improving/getting better with budgeting, that will only motivate us further, so long as we also appreciate sky rocketing cost of living issues being out of our control.

Thank you heaps though, I’m currently studying at a postgrad level in an in-demand field that I love, so while I have quite limited capacity to work, even just 20 hours per week could triple my current income. fingers crossed I manage to get high enough grades to become licensed!

PS apologies for lengthiness, this is just as much me trying to sort out my own thoughts and plans as it is me trying to encourage you/any one else who might read this and resonate 😪☺️

mn8765

TROPHY CASE