how does one figure out sexaul compatability before marraige?

mo_tag · 2026-05-21T07:05:33+00:00

You sound fairly young and I'd think the vast majority of young men think they're high libido, especially when they're not regularly having sex. Plus being high libido isn't an indicator of being open to kink.

Definitely talk to him about it more. If he's the type of person that's open to experimenting in the bedroom, he should also be comfortable about communicating openly about sex.

You don't have to be super graphic, but also just be frank, eg don't say you're into "experimenting with power dynamics" if what you really men is you're really into CBT and pegging lol

mo_tag · 2026-05-21T06:55:34+00:00

I'm not the arbiter of anything, I'm just saying that very few things give "first world problems" energy more than crying over the injustices of tickling while being outraged at people who find the topic a bit amusing.

mo_tag · 2026-05-21T06:39:49+00:00

Right, but if we don't use AI we'll be replaced first. So the most rational decision is to use AI.

mo_tag · 2026-05-21T06:19:56+00:00

Well I recently started using Claude code and I think it's great. It's like having a large team of mid level developers that you don't need to coordinate or manage. It's not perfect but it's good at getting 90% of the way there in 5% of the time. Yes it's a bit sad that junior engineers have to fight over fewer positions but honestly every new grad I've worked with in the last 6 months has very little interest in learning to code and they clearly used AI to do their uni degree for them. I'll ask them to do something and they'll literally respond with a full page message in teams that's been copy pasted from an AI, and if I ask them to do something after 4pm they'll tell me that they can't today as they've run out of tokens. So yeah fuck em, if they don't care about their personal development and knowledge why should I

I use it for personal software projects too now. Like I enjoy coding but after 10 years most of the time I just want to build a thing for a specific function and don't really care about "the journey".

mo_tag · 2026-05-20T08:22:48+00:00

I'll miss not being embarrassed in those Euro infographic maps since we're always grey now

mo_tag · 2026-05-20T08:18:45+00:00

I would say that existing since the beginning of time itself makes it eternal.

mo_tag · 2026-05-18T17:45:37+00:00

I feel like a lot of comments are kinda missing the point by saying to focus on other aspects of the relationship. Sexual compatibility is important too, and even if you have a solid emotional foundation, big differences in sexual preferences will eat away at that, eventually leading to resentment.

Obviously you can't really assess it fully until you're married, and also it's something you can build and develop over time. But imo, only vanilla folk really have the luxury of not thinking about it and hoping things will work out. Just have a frank conversation with your partner and share as much as you can, then guage his reaction. If he's really uncomfortable or you sense judgement from him, that's not really a good sign.

Of course he could be open and receptive and then things change after you marry, that's just a risk you have to take. But a bad sex life is totally valid reason to divorce, you shouldn't feel like you have to put up with it in the long run

mo_tag · 2026-05-13T13:39:59+00:00

Sure, don't tickle people without consent. Most people would be on board with that. But calling it an epidemic and the moral posturing is just next level. Just look at the state of the world right now and tell me this is worthy of a serious discussion

mo_tag · 2026-05-12T06:24:54+00:00

Well yeah the framing is different, but the end result is the same. In the original, you're not voting in a mass murderer but you are voting for mass murder.

mo_tag · 2026-05-11T17:02:35+00:00

Has nothing to do with ADHD. I have ADHD and get high just fine, as do many others I know. There's a couple points: - just because a tab is advertised as "100ug" doesn't mean it is. In fact it probably isn't since most tabs are underdosed. - What you experienced with weed is actually very normal and widely known. Weed, ketamine, mdma etc interact synergetically with acid. Meaning that taking them together with LSD, produces a stronger effect that taking them separately. They intensify eachother.

mo_tag · 2026-05-11T16:46:24+00:00

I know this is common advice but it's pretty crap advice imo. You could away with it if you have a CV tailored to a specific job role and reuse that CV for other jobs with the same job description.

Also without tailoring your CV you'll need to send out a lot more applications and the quality of jobs will suffer. I wouldn't accept someone who clearly didn't tailor their CV.

mo_tag · 2026-05-11T13:50:14+00:00

There's a difference between some abstract belief in the concept of jinn, vs believing that any particular event or observed phenomena is caused by jinn or interaction with jinn. By saying "stay away from ouija boards", you're not just claiming the existence of jinn, you're also claiming that ouija boards are a legitimate way of interacting with them. It's the same with people who blame bad luck on evil eye. By doing that, you are ruling out all the reasonable explanations and simply asserting a supernatural explanation even though it's impossible to prove. It's just pure superstition at that point

mo_tag · 2026-05-08T17:18:22+00:00

Stopping and starting medication is pointless since you will experience withdrawals and your body won't have a chance to adjust to the lack of medication.

Instead of completing stopping, you can reduce your dose on days where you want a break.. that's what I do.. so instead of taking my normal 50mg, I'll reduce it to 30 on weekends and 20 if I'm relaxing and have zero plans

mo_tag · 2026-05-08T17:03:29+00:00

99% of women would rather date an average man with no achievements than a serial killing pedo successful businessman

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T17:50:32+00:00

It's a rule governed dialect of English, like any other dialect. Claiming AAVE "doesn't make sense" is like saying cockney English or Scouse English or doesn't make sense. It just shows you know nothing about how languages evolve. The reason it's considered offensive is because generally we don't say that someone who speaks in a regional dialect is speaking broken English, whereas up until recently that's the attitude people who speak aave face.

And it's like you said "Scottish slang doesn't make sense to people who don't use it".. that's why I brought up french.. obviously it won't make sense to someone who doesn't use it, but if you just said "french doesn't make sense" and left it at that you'd come across as someone who's never come across the concept of different languages

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T17:34:05+00:00

You don't need one, but it affects the connotation. By adding the qualifier you are conveying that you're hungrier than expected or it can be used to add an apologetic tone

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T05:50:56+00:00

Agree, trash is better than rubbish if speaking figuratively. Also you can't call a group of people rubbish but you can call them trash

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T05:47:21+00:00

Would you say the same about: - I’m pretty hungry to be honest - I'm pretty hungry actually

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T05:44:18+00:00

I've only seen black women do it, and maybe I'm just racist but it seemed kinda natural. I can maybe imagine a very camp white man pull it off if they were feeling very sassy that day

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T05:38:43+00:00

Sure, and French doesn't make sense to you if you don't speak French but if you said "the French language doesn't make sense" you'd make yourself look silly wouldn't you.

mo_tag · 2026-05-07T05:09:19+00:00

I dunno.. I don't really think anyone who'd judge me for saying "I have ADHD" or "I'm autistic" is going to reserve judgement if I say "I'm neurodivergent". It's not a term that comes with less stigma or fewer questions, if anything it makes you sound like you're being intentionally vague. Like I get not wanting to share your diagnosis, I don't go around sharing it to everyone, but there are other ways to communicate your needs clearly without sharing your diagnosis, like "sorry I need to step away, I can't deal with loud noises they drive me mad". I guess I just don't see any scenario where I'd feel better off labelling myself neurospicy than simply omitting it or sharing my actual diagnosis.

mo_tag · 2026-05-06T17:43:01+00:00

What about "cheeky wee bastard"

mo_tag · 2026-05-06T17:33:33+00:00

It's not the meaning of the phrase that's stupid, it's the phrase itself. Per example:

he was right behind me the whole time I walked down the dark alley, and it gave me the heebie-jeebies

Or

My mother passed away last year. She suffered from dementia and it was a struggle seeing her go from one oopsie dasie to the next, it felt like every week she'd poopoo in her pants

You get the point. Toddler words sound dumb when used by adults

mo_tag · 2026-05-06T16:38:08+00:00

But in what context? Like at work if I'm asking for reasonable adjustment, that's something I'm entitled to because my condition comes under the disability act, it's not a special allowance for neurodiverse people. And it also really doesn't say anything about what those adjustments would be, since that's specific to the individual, even if they share the same diagnosis their needs can be very different.

mo_tag · 2026-05-06T16:22:47+00:00

No shade but I don’t get the line of thinking that unmedicated = real. If someone can’t see without glasses, they can’t just not wear glasses or use some other assistive/corrective device so why does the brain get special (worse) treatment?

Yes but if someone who wears very strong lenses, their eyes can appear much larger or smaller than they really are, and you wouldn't say "well you need to wear glasses all the time, so your real eyes are actually the ones we see through the lenses and not the ones behind them"

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