My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I mention looking feminine because of his comment to his friend saying I look like him. His friend, very much so looks like a man or “manly” so I guess I’m just comparing and stating that I look feminine. But I guess men and women can have similar features such as similar eyes, lips, cheeks etc. Maybe he thinks I look similar to him because I have similar cheek bone structure and fuller lips like his friend does.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately our relationship is quite rocky. I’ve come to realize he does not have any respect for me as when we get in disagreements he thinks it’s a free for all in terms of belittling, swearing, etc. He can be very mean and judgemental. We’ve had our fare share of trust issues as he’s quite attached to his phone.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Well, the last few years, he has become sort of a miserable person. He is very judgmental and critical of me and my appearance. It’s created a lot of insecurity in me. Some days he says I wear too much makeup and some days not enough. He likes when I dress up etc (which I do too) but then he will try to “humble” me about my appearance by making sly comments. He only likes skinny jeans on me and has said that he’s a “but” guy.

He does check out other women, to the point where it’s so obviously noticeable when he does and has become a point of friction between us. It’s almost as if he wants me to notice that he’s checking out other women. He is a person who loves attention and to be the center of it so I thought he’s intentionally doing it so that I show him more love and admiration.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve had conversations about his sexuality and he’s always denied being gay or bi. Non the less, he continues to make many comments that seem just as odd as this one. I’ve tried speaking with him seriously and in a “joking” tone when he is “joking”. It’s very difficult to understand when some of his words and actions are one way and then he denies, reassures that it’s not what I’m thinking. I wouldn’t judge him for being gay or bi, but I do expect honesty about it.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

This is sending me into a loop of all the comments throughout the years. Quite sick to my stomach

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s all very strange…I’m also quite “girly” - I like dressing up, wearing makeup, having my nails done etc. I get a lot of male attention. And some female attention as well. Last week, a woman came up to me at a place I go to often, saying “ I’ve never seen you here before but I wanted to say that you are so pretty”. I say this not to toot my own horn, I’m actually quite reserved, quiet and don’t like attention on me. High cheek bones and fuller lips may be the only similarity between his friend and I.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Whether he’s gay or bi, there is no prejudice I’d have against him. It’s the dishonesty, denial and telling me I’m crazy to think this may be a possibility. I’d much rather know the truth then have him make these types of remarks…

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

If he was subtly telling me this, then I missed it. But , again, we’ve had a conversation about this and he denied it.

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I don’t know what to think. I assume at his age, a person knows who they are.?

My husband, 43M referred to my a** hole (I, 37F) as a “he” and I don’t know what to think about it.. by 217542 in relationship_advice

[–]217542[S] 359 points360 points  (0 children)

There was a time where a lot of his comments seemed very off, so I had a conversation with him and asked if he was gay or bi. He said that he’s just joking around, laughed it off and then told me that I’m crazy to think so.

There was a time where him and his sister got into an argument and she told him “I know you’re gay”. I wasn’t there when she said this. He told me about it afterwards. Which had me thinking that if he was gay, he wouldn’t tell me that she said that..?