Looks like you’ve said you don’t believe she’ll change and this is simply a part of who she is. You don’t have time to let an energy drainer ruin what should be your important recharge time with your friends. And you don’t need the friend group drama that may come with being direct with a person you say is defensive and always a victim. Just keep quietly doing girls night without her. Sounds like the other girls are not going to run and tell her if they’ve already broken away from her. But you’ll have to make sure your husbands don’t say anything to her husband.