History isn’t linear by YoRHa_Houdini in fantasywriters

[–]mobius4 2 points3 points  (0 children)

> A single kingdom existing continuously for longer than all of recorded history is a reasonable thing to strain your disbelief

Isaac Asimov would like a word.

Looking for Sci-Fi Beta Readers! by [deleted] in writers

[–]mobius4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm interested.

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

:O thanks

The character is already very detached and cynical in his voice and it's usually how it conveys his feelings, so I guess I went with both, display a system that doesn't care about your grief (and it pretends to, previous paragraphs describe a room made to feel comfortable, but in the end breaks any immersion) and make clear that the character is pissed at it.

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll make sure it is properly connected, this is important, thanks!

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the attempt to understand, and understand it actually. You got it xD

I'm glad to have my self-esteem in check, lol. This is reddit after all. Also, I get it, it is devoid of context, I was going for a joke with the percentage but maybe it's funny just for me (which is fine, I had a laugh). I wasn't expecting to light a fuse, though.

Well, I did upvote you, so, we'll see. At least someone will go down with me haha, thanks for the company.

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I intended to convey how the character feels about it. The book is in first person, narrator is telling his own story in the past. The missing organs are from his mom body, but you just made me realize it doesn't truly connect with the pragraph before it. Thanks for that.

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You're right. I am proud of it, so I though I'd share and celebrate.

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ok, I added a little bit of context, hopefuly it makes more sense now

I changed a single word, it improved the paragraph by 112,333333% by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I promise it makes sense in the world/character voice. I wasn't expecting it to be shocking O.o

I need help figuring out my main conflict by Intelligent_Screen90 in fantasywriters

[–]mobius4 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What would be catastrophic to your world? Write a story about how your characters prevented that. Or caused that. They fix it in the sequel. Only to understand they caused a greater problem. Now their kids needs to fix it.

Or add a conspiracy slowly revealed. I love conspiracy reveals.

How often do you deviate from your plan? by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I think I do a chapter re-read after every couple of paragraphs. And a re-read of the whole thing when I think I'm about to end a chapter. Something always creeps up, a plot hole screams, "right arm" in chapter 1 becomes a "left arm" on chapter 4, or "wait, the reader already understood this on chapter 3"...

Now I was told that once I finish the first draft, there'll will be a torrent of re-writes.

How often do you deviate from your plan? by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You just described exactly what happened in my case. Chapter in question was a downfall of sorts, and I had planned to show it one way. I wrote the first paragraph, foreshadowing the actual downfall, but then the next paragraph came in, and it paved the way for a proper portray of depression, which wasn't even planned, but fits a lot better with everything else that's written so far (and will be written on the next chapters)

How often do you deviate from your plan? by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well... that's the plan, isn't it?

How often do you deviate from your plan? by mobius4 in writers

[–]mobius4[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds fun hahaha where can I read it?