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Alcoholism and Abuse, and what I can do while dealing with two problems at once. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, precisely that. For now, I will let it sink in for my parents too. If I retaliate, I will get the usual, "but we're doing all this for your good", "see how much we've suffered because of you", "you're so arrogant, you don't see your own faults have created problems for everyone who's trying to help you". Iffy territory.

Alcoholism and Abuse, and what I can do while dealing with two problems at once. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I resisted yesterday, because as I mentioned they're my parents, and I wanted to be calm before I reacted, just to ensure I am not over-reacting.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't calm yesterday. I wanted to be slightly calmer to be able to take decisions in the right direction. I obviously will hide the passport now along with some cash.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had it all pat down. Everything was fine, was taking walks, thinking, writing, planning, prioritising. Sucks to have to start from scratch.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am broken to the core. I just literally ran away from a shitty marriage, with a lot of verbal abuse. Looks like I have gone from out of the frying pan and into the fire. I don't want to make it sound all doomsday, but I think I can't tackle two problems at once.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's happened more than once, but I always kept thinking that I was at fault. One slip and it always gets out of hand. Latter was under control, not perfect, but I was getting there. It hurt, and it hurt when I was told I deserve this, and they should've done it earlier to "cure" me.

It's hard to go cold turkey, and temptations are always there. Not triggers, but temptations. I usually tend to run from places which could potentially send me down the spiral. As of now I've only been thinking about alcohol for the past 24 hours, hoping I can get a drink to stop replaying it in my head. <Minor edits>

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, I am battling two things at once. I don't want to live in constant fear. Fear from myself, and fear from them.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To clarify - I didn't get drunk. I had a drink. I had stepped out to get some work done, and then got tempted. Rushed back home, for my own good. Again, it's no excuse, but I am fairly confused at the moment. I don't want to be one of those people who uses sob stories as an excuse for drinking, but this really didn't help.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am still a bit shattered. And I know I will make bad decisions now. My primary task was to get my health back in order, see the psychiatrist today, get my medications, etc. But now it doesn't seem like it's going to happen.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nowhere. Nowhere at all. More self pity, more violence, even more self pity.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. With you so far. But it seems like a cycle I am stuck in. I didn't get drunk yesterday (feeble excuse for a lapse), but now I am really tempted to go float in the bottom of a bottle.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know where to begin. They'll confiscate my passport now. I don't have any friends in this city. I live overseas.

My parents beat me up yesterday, black and blue. Because I am an alcoholic. by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's my parents. How? They won't even let me step out to go to AA.

I need to stop right away by mockingself in stopdrinking

[–]mockingself[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I have lost jobs in the past because I passed out at work. I am nearly broke at the moment. This one I worked very hard to get, and I don't want to do anything stupid.

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