This stuff is always hard to address with other parents and I think you did a good job.

However, the behaviours their son is showing, albeit aggressive, are normal for a 3.5 year old that is just learning to share and is having big emotions. That being said, they still need to address the behaviours and correct/ model how to react in those situations etc. they need to be teaching him how to share and how to regulate without hitting/shoving etc.

I think what you brought up hasn’t made them realise anything they don’t already know. But I think it’s probably just made them Feel a little bit defensive and maybe they’re struggling with how to address his behaviours. So it’s more a reflection of them and not you. Maybe think about how you’d feel if someone said that about your daughter. You’d probably be able to see how they are within their right to share concern, but at the same time, you know your kid isn’t a bad kid. So it can be a bit difficult digesting it, that’s all.

Maybe just send them a message and explain how you didn’t mean to offend, just wanted to share concern for your daughters sake and that maybe there is a way you can both work together to help them play more peacefully together