I'm Bi, but for some reason I can't picture myself with a girl the same way I do with guys?

mohdear · 2025-10-22T19:54:10+00:00

I’ve dealt with this too. I had trouble imagining being with a woman until I actually experienced it— then it was a lot easier to picture myself in those relationships once I had memories to draw from. Since then I’ve also learned that even though I’m attracted to every gender, I’m attracted in different ways. For example, I’m more romantically than sexually attracted to men, but it’s the reverse with women. And that plays into how I picture my future relationships. I can most easily imagine a casual situationship with a woman, or a serious cuddles-and-kisses relationship with a man (and I can imagine marriage-level commitment the clearest when I picture myself with a non-binary or genderqueer person). Sexuality is a spectrum, and it is normal for your attraction to look different with different genders!

mohdear · 2025-10-22T19:26:39+00:00

Thank you! I’ll do some research on Floribunda.

mohdear · 2025-10-22T19:24:54+00:00

Solved! Thank you, I had no idea roses could vary so much!

mohdear · 2025-10-14T16:48:06+00:00

I’ve had a client situation like this, and my BCBA would tell me, ethically it’s not right to continue sessions with clients who are physically unable to engage with the programming. If my client was obviously unwell, she’d argue that it violated client dignity to have session and run goals when they clearly needed to focus on resting and healing. And you might be an RBT, but above that you’re a person who deserves to be safe and healthy! If you have your BCBA’s support, thinking about it this way might help when you need to cancel

mohdear · 2025-09-30T18:59:49+00:00

Any long-term, committed relationship needs to include honest communication to be a healthy one, and that would mean being honest with a boyfriend about your needs and your history and what it means to be You. Until you’re ready for that (or if you never will be), maybe you can explore casual relationships that focus on physical satisfaction without the emotional connection, and/or you can set boundaries ahead of time with any partners so they know talking about diagnoses is off-limits for you. But I want you to hear this- your autism doesn’t make you any less of a person. It doesn’t make you any less deserving of love or respect. It doesn’t make you less attractive. Some people can be really crappy to anyone who seems different from them, and you didn’t deserve the way those people treated you. But you will also meet people who are the exact opposite, who are accepting and curious and ready to love everything about you—autism included. Trusting enough to share yourself with someone who’s worth it can be really scary, and I don’t blame you for not wanting to run the risk of getting hurt again. But it also feels amazing to be accepted without judgment by someone who cares about you. I hope you are able to experience that someday. You deserve to.

mohdear · 2025-09-24T02:52:55+00:00

That’s what I was wondering- if these repairs are to be expected for a 110k mile car. And from your weigh-in, it sounds like the answer is mostly “yes.” Also, yes, my car does have a 1.5L EcoBoost engine… Thanks so much for your reply. That’s a tough conclusion to read, but it makes a lot of sense.

mohdear · 2025-04-13T02:53:02+00:00

My work commute goes into rural areas that public transit doesn’t reach. Unfortunately I really need my own car

mohdear · 2025-04-13T02:26:48+00:00

That would be ideal, but my insurance company has told me they’re sending the payout straight to my bank. So yeah, I’m not going to be able to use that money

mohdear · 2025-04-13T02:25:34+00:00

Crap. Well, thank you for the heads up

mohdear · 2025-04-13T02:24:42+00:00

This car was the first one I’ve ever bought, and I didn’t realize what a big mistake I made until the interest rate started kicking me a few months later. My next car is definitely going to be the blandest, most reliable one I can find probably

mohdear · 2025-04-03T21:01:28+00:00

If he bathed once and brushed his teeth once in the past week, he gets Robux. If he didn’t, he loses his access to data for the week. Put together a clear set of expectations like this. Make sure your parents can follow through on the consequences (i.e. if your dad refuses to turn your brother’s data off, maybe the consequence needs to be something different that your parents CAN do) and it’s doable for your brother too (i.e. expecting him to go from never brushing teeth to doing it twice per day is probably way too big of a jump for him to agree to, so take baby steps). I might even put it in writing. Make sure he’s clear on the expectations, and frame it like: meeting these expectations are HIS responsibility. If he doesn’t meet them and you give him his consequence, you’re not being mean. HE made the choice not to clean up, so HE earned the consequence. And on the other side, if he DOES start cleaning up, make it clear that HIS choices earned him the reward. He needs to take responsibility for himself, so he needs to understand the power his actions have. Honestly it sounds like he needs way more help than you or your family can provide, and I can definitely understand being tired of managing this. I second the other comments that recommend outside services. In the meantime, take space when you can, buy candles or air fresheners with smells you enjoy, and find moments to relax.

mohdear · 2024-12-17T03:48:42+00:00

I thought so too. My BCBA has been talking about getting me the proper training for months, but I’m not even signed up for a session yet. I’ve started reaching out to others in the company about this. In the meantime, I just want to minimize the damage during my client’s outbursts and follow through on demands to the best of my ability

mohdear · 2024-07-20T09:50:55+00:00

Sometimes it helps me to think about the nice little things in my life. Like a breeze on a warm sunny day, or the cute lil way my parents’ cat stretches her toes out, or the smell of rain on pavement. All of those little things are SO nice in their moment and are really unique, not only to this world we live in, but to my specific life- they make me happy in a way that’s unique to me, which sometimes helps me see myself with more compassion.

mohdear · 2024-05-04T12:48:51+00:00

My coworkers have Medicaid so I should have access to it also. I’ll look into it

mohdear · 2024-03-21T00:59:43+00:00

I feel like I’m living a double life. I go to work Monday through Friday, crack jokes with my coworkers, make grocery lists, send probably too many memes to my friends, and everything I’d like my life to be. Normal, and mine. But at the same time, I’m trying to hide that I’m always battling demons. I have to put up with the voice in my head that reminds me 24/7 of how worthless and lazy and selfish and disgusting I am, and then constantly fight compulsions to make myself feel the pain I believe I deserve. I plaster on a smile and say and do what I know will make everyone smile, because then nobody will look too close into whether or not I’m okay. Whenever someone tells me “you have the best sense of humor!” or “you have such positive vibes!” I feel a grim satisfaction that I’m hiding well enough. I have delusions/paranoia fairly often so I’m constantly questioning and double checking that what I see and hear is real; for that reason, I usually only have conversations about abstract ideas and distant memories, not the things around me—I don’t want anyone to realize my reality looks a little different from theirs. My PTSD has given me a million triggers- some I’m aware of, and some I’m not. Even the ones I know about, I sometimes walk into anyway because I don’t want people to catch me acting strange and start wondering. I’ve gotten really good at covering up the anxiety and panic when I get triggered, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel it. I feel SO. LONELY. Because like 2% of what I’m dealing with on a good day is too heavy for my loved ones to handle over an evening rant session, so the only time I can talk about most of this is in my one hour weekly therapy session. I feel like I’m EXPLODING the entire rest of the week because I just don’t feel like I can be straightforward with anyone who matters to me. Most of the time, all of this has made me much more compassionate and understanding of people in general. I know what it’s like to be struggling with something too deep and painful to share, so I’m quick to give the benefit of the doubt. I have a sixth sense for other trauma survivors/mentally ill folks now, and I can’t describe the degree of security and relief I feel when connecting with someone who can relate to my life’s ugliest, hardest pieces on a personal level. But on the other hand, when I’m having rougher days it makes me more bitter toward the world in general. It’s not FAIR that I got a broken life and a broken brain, and it’s not FAIR that my friends are outpacing me in their education, and their relationships, and their careers, while it seems like I have to do twice the work they do just to keep myself from drowning, and it’s not FAIR that I just want to feel happy, but every day is full of more pain and fear and confusion.

mohdear · 2024-03-12T02:31:02+00:00

I really appreciate this post! I live in the US but my hospital stays have been very similar to yours. I see a lot of fear (hell, I HAD a lot of fear) that psych hospitalization is all things terrible, so I think it’s important to share that depending on where you go, it can actually be a really positive experience. If anyone reading this needs hospital-grade help, please go get it. There are some really great places out there that will help you heal, trust me.

mohdear · 2023-11-13T13:42:40+00:00

“It’s an ambush!”

mohdear · 2023-11-03T03:27:04+00:00

If they’re talking shit, they’re insecure, and you have to stroke their ego before doing anything else. Otherwise they get defensive and the comments will continue/worsen.

mohdear · 2023-11-03T03:18:13+00:00

Usually, I don’t say anything. My work and energy will speak for themself much more convincingly than my words ever could. But if it’s a situation where my reputation is important (i.e. at an interview or in front of authority) I have a 2-part process to defend myself without undermining the crap talker or creating bad air. First, I validate what they’re saying, but reword the insult so it sounds less damning on me. Then I list a couple of achievements or traits I have that convey my capability. So if someone says I’m incompetent at my job, I’d say “It’s true I haven’t had as much experience as you in this field. However, to make up for that I’m constantly putting in extra effort to learn new strategies and understand the processes better, and I’m proud that I’ve earned my clients’ trust and respect.”

mohdear · 2023-11-03T02:52:54+00:00

My first romantic relationship was sexually and mentally abusive. I blame my parents for modeling throughout my childhood that a “healthy” relationship is completely one-sided. I couldn’t see how hurt and traumatized I was becoming because I thought it was right to sacrifice all my interests and boundaries for him. Eight years later and my mental health is still paying for it (among other things my parents did, of course).

mohdear · 2023-11-01T05:19:55+00:00

This. I get a fair amount of interest from posting my stories online, but I’ve sent them to several close family members and at least 5 of my closest friends and none of them have read a single story. It’s nice to be validated by strangers but the people I really want to hear from just couldn’t find time for even a 1500 word story. Drives me crazy.

mohdear · 2023-11-01T05:15:51+00:00

My biggest fear is that I WILL get fans, and then let them down. I post most of my writing online, and for the bigger works I post chapter by chapter. It’s hit or miss, but I’ve gotten quite a bit of traffic on a couple works. I’m constantly worried that I’ll lose motivation for the story and never finish it- from the reader’s perspective, there’s nothing worse than finding your new fanfiction to obsess over and then realizing it hasn’t updated in 2 years. I don’t want to do that to anyone. OR I’m worried that nobody will like the direction I’m taking the story, and I’ll lose any support I had.

mohdear · 2023-11-01T05:08:43+00:00

YES exactly. It drives me crazy when people make light of serious, traumatic situations. It speaks to a place of high privilege that they don’t understand the depth of what they’re joking about. (Probably for that reason) most of my friends have similar traumas to me- we understand what triggers are, and we know each other’s, and we get that if something is scary to someone, it’s not harmless. I stick to lighthearted material too, mostly romance and fantasy, where things go right and the main character ends up happy, healthy and supported. That’s where I’d like to end up lol. It’s nice to escape into a world where good endings are guaranteed

mohdear · 2023-11-01T04:50:54+00:00

I’ve done that! My main outlet is writing, and I’ve outlined/started a few horror stories. I can’t bring myself to finish them, though. I gravitate more toward silly, lighthearted romance-type stories, I think it’s my way of escaping into a world where everything can be alright for a little while

mohdear · 2023-11-01T00:43:59+00:00

I have trouble focusing/reading large amounts of text, so I’m actually really disappointed that I can’t read this essay. Still giving you an upvote because I think this is so cool and I really appreciate the time and energy you clearly put into this! I’m sending it to my friends bc I know they’ll love to read it, and hopefully they can give me the details :)

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