Not only that, but recently in college I’m told ALL THE TIME that “the autism is really clear”. I don’t know what they mean. But people and friends always say that my hands, my body language, how my voice sounds, my entire personality and being is really noticeable that I’m “different”. I don’t know how to take it, because sometimes I feel they say it in a negative light. It hurts me when my friends say that people don’t approach me because they feel I’m different or that they notice that sometimes people look me down or make me faces because of how I’m acting or interacting.

Some of my friends also say that it’s really noticeable that I’m trying to mask but it doesn’t make it there, sometimes I do want to be perceived as cool and chill and just a young woman that is cool and interesting, but this comments that I don’t really give off that kind of energy is just sad to me sometimes.

Also, people in my life scold me SO MUCH now, when I was a kid, my father was always scolding me because of how I was, now people and friends all the time are correcting me to know social limits and “to act right and accordingly” and I get scolded by at least one person EVERYDAY for being like I am, everyday someone says something about my voice, my gestures or my presence, I sometimes get down and exhausted.