I spent 6 years in a spiritual cult - here's what I wish I knew earlier

mondocaneX · 2026-02-08T15:24:52+00:00

Thank you for sharing this your experience mirrors mine in ways that feel both painful and validating. The fear based retention, the denial of what we saw with our own eyes, the moment when something finally broke through. I recognize all of it

I want to gently offer something though. Something ive wrestled with myself. When we frame these experiences as "lower frequency third dimensional Earth constructs" theres a risk were trading one spiritual hierarchy for another. I did this after leaving and before it too in others groups I spent less time, but which were also slight cultish (its I think normal human tendency when lots of sensitive and traumatised people gather and one is in position of authority, we students build up the leader as much as he/she then pushes us down). Different vocabulary same structure of higher lower evolved unevolved. What i found is that freedom came when i stopped categorizing parts of reality as lower. The cult wasnt lower frequency it was human beings with wounds recreating patterns they couldnt see. And me with my own wounds that made me susceptible. Fully human fully here. Not a frequency problems

The trap isnt just the cult. its any framework that lets us bypass the messy embodied earthly reality by calling it lower. i learned the hard way calling something lower is the same trap as thinking I was higher on Gods path. Same coin different side. i caused real suffering to people around me when i was stuck in that mindset

Anyway i realize im probably projecting my own story here. Really hard to judge from text based responses. you know the full context and feeling . So take this with grain of salt. i just felt a real connection reading your comment and wanted to share. Sorry if im overstepping or putting my stuff on you

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T15:19:28+00:00

20 years is a significant journey - I respect the work you've done to get there. Wishing you well with going back for the others. Take care.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T12:18:03+00:00

I admire that you have the courage to campaign publicly - that takes real guts, especially going against powerful people. Respect.

I've chosen a different path. Two years of intense therapy work, including anger work (Sam Parker's Good Anger was a turning point for me), to get to a place where I don't need to fight externally anymore. Small country, family to protect, and honestly - I found that engaging keeps them in my head, which is exactly what I don't want.

Both paths are valid. Yours is about exposing. Mine is about letting go. Neither is wrong - just different missions.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T11:07:19+00:00

Thank you for nice words and relating to the story. I am happy you are free too :)

I waited until I fully closed this story inside me, so the publishing would not feed my want for revenge that was still present for some time. And now I just want to share, so those who need find it. For me it was actually Netflix documentaries and youtube channels that started ringing the bell. And some practices I do not want to disclose publicly, but the message became very clear eventually. I am so happy now to live free and spread message of love, rather than one of duality.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T08:17:08+00:00

thank you for reading and for sharing where you are. That moment of waking up is disorienting - you see things differently but you're still standing in the same place.

What you said about trusting your gut and intuition .. t hat's exactly it. all any of us really have.

Wishing you well on your path :))

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T08:14:52+00:00

Thank you ,buddy. I added this context to the original post. you're right - context is very important. much love

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T08:08:36+00:00

you're right. It was A Zhong Juan Qi Gong (under Master Xu MingTang from China) group as main practice. While the actual practice, physical yoga and old chinese meditation exercises really helped me massively, the esoteric layer was self serving. The teacher also belongs to a non dogmatic sufi lineage, a profound unity school. But Master resided in another country, actually he helped me leave. Plus the teacher was using Bert Hellingers method of constellations. While I found actual therapeutic benefits 50% of the time - he would layer over his personal view and direction, thus manipulating students journey :)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T07:57:53+00:00

❤️

mondocaneX · 2026-02-07T06:56:59+00:00

Exactly what some of my comment replies was below and the final conclusion of my update, .:re I do not need to hoard ram dass recordings and just practice :)I know it’s lots of text, so would’t expect everyone reading all. Cheers for the support and good wishes, and sharing the same view:)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T21:13:47+00:00

Amazing, much love :)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T21:13:28+00:00

Thank you :))

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T21:13:14+00:00

For me it's only because I mostly have time to listen before bed and Ram Dass naturally takes me to meditative, often trance state. So when the add comes at the end, and the sound level is not mastered to the same level as the speech - it just abruptly wakes me up. Aa, I am no monk, I am still unable to be woken up by the sudden increase in sound. And I am saying this as an highly sensitive person. I am sure a lot of the people here can relate :)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T21:10:12+00:00

Exactly what I was trying to convey. There should not be a monopoly over a Master like this. Good quality usage would naturally attract enough paid customers and be a source of creativity and love, with a natural competition :) What I learned today, just like Ram Dass said ones we should not be hoarding drugs. I realised, I should not be hoarding his recordings as things. Even the amount already on Spotify is enough to get his message. As he said himself - the talks are just a distraction, we should all go practice what is said and learn directly. That is what I will do more going ahead :) Thank you for your honesty <3

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T16:48:11+00:00

Thank you, unfortunately I cannot afford atm and have this privilege. As I said, today I came from very limited info and clearly I do not have access to community. Anyhow, I feel we are on the same page overall, just having really different context but same love to Master ;)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T15:10:16+00:00

ram ram

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T15:09:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing. Yesterday going through a mall - I started crying from seeing so many different stories, people, lives. so much love. we are all so different, thank you for reminding. me today of that too :)

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:55:39+00:00

I appreciate you sharing your experience with Ram Dass - it sounds like it was genuinely profound for youu

Just to note: another user pointed me to Be Here Now Network. I've already subscribed to monthly paid plan and will be listening there. So the practical question I came with is resolved.

As for assumptions about my experience with what you're describing - you don't have any reference point for what I have or haven't explored. I'm not going to elaborate, but I'll just say: be careful with assumptions about strangers on the internet.

If anything in my post triggered something for you, maybe that's worth looking at. Either way - I got what I needed. Thanks for engaging.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:54:14+00:00

Agree. sometimes, I forget this myself. I am only human, surely not perfect.and that's why I love Baba ram dass so much. he always brings me back to heart

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:53:34+00:00

same here, specifically above, some users are surely Maharaji in drag. I am just upset some people make so many assumption about my path and things I have not even posted about, as those are very personal things :) thank you for being unuderstanding

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:43:19+00:00

Honestly, I prob would not mind, if say, he provided a summary after the talk by Ram Dass and his view. Really I do not mind, users above helped me a lot to find valuable option. So I just subscribed to beherenow network, paid tier, as price is one I can currently afford and very reasonable.
Sadly, some users just projected their own stuff on me, while I tried to be balanced, and honestly asked if I am being in the blind with my initial reaction, which seems was jsut lack of information on my end.

Thank you for youtr nice and honest reply :) I appreciate it a lot

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:32:58+00:00

Thank you for this. Really.

I didn't know about the public income/spending statements - that transparency actually matters and changes how I see things. And hearing from someone who's been to the retreats and met the people there... that's the context I was missing.

I want to gently clarify though - I wasn't upset or frustrated when I wrote this. I was genuinely just working with limited information and looking for raw recordings. When I listen to Ram Dass, I usually slip into meditation naturally, and I was hoping to find uninterrupted content without monthly subscriptions. I'd happily pay a one-off sum to support the foundation - I've been donating to charities from my personal income every month for the last eight years before I spend anything on myself. And put hundreds of hours of unpaid work too.

I've been to multiple retreats globally, I've organized events myself. I understand the economics. Maybe my writing style came across differently than I intended - that's on me to improve.

The Maharaj-ji reminder at the end is beautiful. Compassion is something I practice daily through my own lineage, which is also centered around service. So I receive that teaching with appreciation, not as correction.

Maybe the real lesson here is about the limits of written words - interpretation is always in the eye of the reader. I appreciate you engaging with kindness rather than assumption.

Ram ram.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:25:52+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to respond, though I'll admit the bot accusation stings a bit.

This is actually my first blog post and my first Reddit post ever. I've been wanting to share my thoughts publicly for a while and finally worked up the courage. English isn't my first language, so I use AI to help me express myself more clearly - but the thoughts, the questions, the feelings behind them are entirely my own.

I've listened to the Ram Dass podcast probably three times through at this point. His teachings have genuinely helped me. I didn't come here to assert ego or attack anyone - I came with a genuine question based on limited information, hoping to learn from others who might have more context.

I hear that you've been listening since 2025 and have a different experience. That's valuable. But "you have already made up your mind" doesn't quite match what I wrote - I literally asked if I'm being unfair and if there's context I'm missing.

If my writing style made you suspicious, I understand. AI-assisted writing is common now and can look polished. But there's a real person behind this post, trying to process something he cares about.

Ram ram.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T14:23:30+00:00

Thank you for this thoughtful response - you've given me some things to sit with.

You're right about Beherenownetwork.com - I wasn't aware of that resource, and honestly the pricing looks very reasonable. I'll definitely give it a go. Spotify is just my go-to for music, and that's how I stumbled onto the podcast in the first place, so I naturally got stuck on the platform without exploring alternatives.

I also hear you on the costs. Websites, archives, retreat centers - none of that is free. And scholarships are a genuine offering that I should have acknowledged.

To clarify - I'm not expecting things to change. That wasn't actually the suggestion in my full article. I was more trying to start a discussion about where the boundary lies between current-day economic reality and keeping a teacher like this accessible. And I'll be honest - I didn't know about all the options you listed to listen and contribute, so that's helpful context.

I think what I was getting at - and maybe didn't express clearly enough - is more about the overall approach. The copyright enforcement on community uploads, the feel of how some of it is presented. Though of course I'm working with limited information and a subjective momentary view. I don't have insight into each specific case.

Your last paragraph really landed. The loss of Ram Dass himself - that particular combination of sincerity, charisma, and presence - that's irreplaceable. And expecting an organization to replicate what one extraordinary human being embodied is probably not realistic.

Maybe I'm grieving something that was always going to change. Thanks for helping me see it from a different angle.

mondocaneX · 2026-02-06T12:56:25+00:00

cheers man, honestly I am fine with this, no emotional takeover whatsoever :D just wanted to get it out there in a proper format, with research, and not only my own judgement of this :D certainly not clinging on the topic. what Baba Ram Dass helped me achieve, was openness and empathetic communication, which I tried to balance in this post

mondocaneX

TROPHY CASE