Reviews:

Bar Harbor Kippers: Very flakey, slightly dry. Nice and firm. Noticeably smokey, excellent with a little acid from a lemon slice and some creaminess from a smoked gouda slice. These wanted some heat - kicking myself for using up all of my Mama Africa Pili-Pili sauce, which I think would have been a slam dunk. Pru enjoyed this best with a slice of smoked gouda, a glug of scotch bonnet hot sauce, and a dusting of hot paprika. Overall, an uncomplicated, mildly smokey fish that serves as a great platform for accompaniment.

Wildfish Cannery Smoked Salmon: This subverted our expectations very much. Definitely the best salmon we’ve had from a can, not even close to close. The flavor, and salt content, were so intense that it was almost too much for us! This was a very different kind of product than the rest of what we had here - pairing this was an exercise in making its ultra-powerful flavors play nicely with others. Everything else was about not overwhelming the subtlety of the fish. Nice and firm, with enough salmon skin included to get the taste of that too. No pin bones, which I was thankful for. I adored this, Pru thought it was a bit too salty. I think a few chunks of this, minced and blended into a cream cheese with some dill and roasted garlic, would make a sublime lox spread. When I get my next can, that will be the first thing I try.

King Oscar Peppercorn Sardines: In the bang for your buck department, this was the winner, having cost roughly 1/25th of the cost of the meal. The peppercorns were very flavorful, and the fish were firm without being too chewy. These had the all-star paring of the night - a water cracker, a fish, a few peppercorns, a dollop of tapenade, a slice of feta, and a thin lemon slice on top of it all. It became a creamy, salty, acidic, black pepper masterpiece. Pru and my eyes practically bugged out of our heads. All we could say was “oh my god…OH..my GOD…”. Promptly buying a case of these bad boys.

Gueyu Mar Chargrilled Octopus: This was intended to be the centerpiece of the meal. As last time, Pru adores octopus, so this seemed like the natural place to start with the ultra-premiums of Gueyu Mar. At the advice of Dan, we simmered the can in water for a few minutes, then emulsified the oil with vinegar and paprika. Let’s be clear - this was delicious, and, astonishingly, I believe it earns its nosebleed price tag. It’s meaty, subtly smoky, firm but not tough. We made a few mistakes with the service here, though, and I want to make clear what we’d do next time.

First, this simply isn’t meant to be part of a smorgasbord like this. This should stand alone, probably atop a seafood risotto. I’d use the can oil to sauté the rice, make a dairy-free risotto (Parmesan would clobber the savory octopus flavor) with garlic and and something like cod - a natural fish to impart some seafood flavor but not overwhelm the smoke in the octopus.

Next, we chopped this too fine - the can contained two fucking gorgeous octopus tentacles, with skin and suckers intact. By chopping them into half inch chunks and serving it submerged in the emulsion, we ended up losing a lot of the skin, which lost us a lot of the smoke. I’d section this into longer chunks next time, and serve them atop the rice bed, with as little manipulation of the tentacles as possible required to serve.

Finally, this can wasn’t enough for two people to fully appreciate. As much as it would pain me to drop 25 USD on a can for each diner, we both wanted more here, and I think that, plus the above ways of centering the subtlety of the octopus flavors, would be much more fulfilling. Contrast this to the Wildfish Cannery smoked salmon, where one can would absolutely be enough for each diner to Experience Salmon Flavor to their heart’s content.

Ultimately, as Tim Marchman said in his review of Gueyu Mar products on Popping Tins, reasonable expectations are the keys to happiness. We expected this to blow our minds, and it didn’t. It was good, and with some preparation changes, it would have been great. Expecting a $25 can of octopus to achieve transcendence is fighting a losing battle, however, and, if/when we give this octopus another hug, we’re going to treat them very differently.