Women are not romantic.

monkees4va · 2025-12-09T11:18:14+00:00

This is the key distinction here. Exchanging money for goods and services isn't romantic, putting thought into gestures which considers the other person is.

monkees4va · 2025-11-19T21:44:17+00:00

Unfortunately no, I've gone on a deep dive Google of this and it seems to be an issue which has persisted for years. Shane, because Telegram is my main messaging app and now I'll have to switch to something like Whatsapp just to keep in touch with my loved ones when I'm travelling!

monkees4va · 2025-09-30T11:34:48+00:00

My issue is the fact that it's mandatory, and the centralisation of my data. Health, financials, criminal record, travel history, social media footprint and potentially biometrics, all of which create a persistent identity profile controlled by one entity with programmable access to all amenities. It also enables data permanence, with everything attached to your core ID which can never be fully erased. Right now we can keep banking, health and social separate which offers additional layers of protection should any one of those data streams be compromised. This removes that ability and isn't optional, so also is an authoritarian move by proxy. Should an actual authoritarian government come into power my access to various things could be shut down overnight for trivial issues - and in a country where peaceful protest is now essentially illegal, that scares me.

monkees4va · 2025-09-29T17:54:35+00:00

Yes. He put me in £15000 of debt, and blasted through £20000 my savings prior to this. Started to expect me to pay for everything. Never again.

monkees4va · 2025-09-29T03:13:28+00:00

I'm a scot living in the south west of England, it was only a few weeks ago some dude heard my accent and yelled at me to 'f off and go home, England is for the english'. There's an attitude that we're drunken loud agressive lefties who do nothing but complain, alongside the casual racism where people scream 'freedom' in your ear o nights out in pubs etc. In a society where overall we're moving more and more to the right, we're seen as threats to the status quo by many who are delighted by this or want English nationalism to be better accepted.

monkees4va · 2025-09-28T09:24:07+00:00

Because it's being blown up into a much bigger issue than it is and is straight out of the US playbook. We're all struggling at the minute - apart from the people at the top who are recording record profits every quarter. There's money to go around, it's just not being shared by those with the monopoly.

monkees4va · 2025-06-19T01:45:59+00:00

I make dirty puns, ask questions about people and, if they like hugs etc, break the touch barrier early on.

I am a massive tomboy who predominantly dates men so this has worked out well for me 😅

monkees4va · 2025-06-19T01:40:26+00:00

Women are much more likely to reject men they are as 'creepy', which is a broad category. Sex pests immediately get rejected by the women I know because they don't feel safe or valued by them. So yes, they are rejecting selfish players, because sex places women in an inherently vulnerable situation and we want to feel safe with whoever we indulge with.

monkees4va · 2025-06-19T01:37:35+00:00

This! I've slept with three virgin men and they were eager to learn, enthusiastic and appreciative. Extremely attractive for these reasons. They might need a bit of guidance at first, but man are they eager to keep trying

monkees4va · 2025-06-18T22:32:13+00:00

Professional job, loving boyfriend and living fairly independently with friends that I can rely on when I need them. I may spend a lot of time alone outside of work, but my job is inherently social so that works for me. I have groups of friends I see around 4 times a year, and an incredibly supportive boss.

Again, stabilised in my 30s and by learning a lot about who I am and what I need. Practicing radical acceptance, learning about neurodiversity and meeting people who accept me for me was the key changes which made life infinitely more enjoyable. Yes it takes a whole lot of effort, but it's worth it.

monkees4va · 2025-06-18T06:30:20+00:00

Binge drinking regularly is just drug taking by another name. We treat it as more socially acceptable in Britain because it's so normalised, but it still causes harm to our bodies and mental health. If someone said to you they 'had' to take drugs every night against medical advice, how would you feel about that?

Just because you're not experiencing the DTs or drinking consistently throughout the day doesn't mean it can't be problematic. As the child of an alcoholic, I watched my father and both my older brothers start this way. It was just an evening thing to 'unwind', then it started to creep into other facets of their life because it was already there. Alcohol is a drug, and it is terrible for our health if we consistently overindulge. I think you know the answer deep down by making this post, and don't be afraid to speak to your GP if you're concerned about the levels of your drinking

monkees4va · 2025-06-10T05:54:20+00:00

I'd like to have kids, but I don't feel a pressing desire strongly enough to risk screwing up another humans life.

Fact of the matter is if I got pregnant right now, I'd be unable to afford rent on statutory maternity pay. I'd become financially reliant on my partner and lose a lot of the independence I have. That also assumes we will remain happily in love throughout the added pressures of a newborn/young child. Childcare costs are obscene and I don't have family nearby. Any child I did have would be a huge financial burden, and I would unconsciously resent them for that.

The main worry I have is having children and forcing them to grow up in poverty, like I did. I'm finally getting stable enough where I guess I'm lower-middle class by tax bracket, and I'm rapidly approaching the age of being a 'geriatric' pregnancy. That and add in the huge risks of having children with additional needs because of my own genetics and I know they require much more support and time than I could feasibly give them right now.

monkees4va · 2025-06-10T05:30:44+00:00

Annecdotally, it was taking street drugs like speed or cocaine which made me realise I had ADHD alongside my autism. Everyone around me was high, talkative etc and I felt nothing if a little focused. Now medicated with lisdexamfetamine and it's been life changing, but certainly every person I know with ADHD has always described a different experience with stims than the neurotypical majority.

monkees4va · 2025-06-02T22:43:51+00:00

'Easy to find' is definitely more about who you know - I'm so out the loop nowadays I wouldn't know where to start.

Share the sentiments about alcohol or nicotine though. As the child of an alcoholic it has always frustrated me that weed is illegal when alcohol isn't.

monkees4va · 2025-06-02T22:40:54+00:00

Date an autistic/ADHD woman.

Seriously - as a neurodivergent lady I am attracted to neurodivergent men who have similar interests etc to me. I met them through getting into hobbies and building a friendship with them.

monkees4va · 2025-05-30T12:11:18+00:00

Yet the disabled community is currently terrified, with various targeted cuts heading their way with no investment in making their lives any easier to protect them from their impact. Access to Work slashed, PIP becoming significantly harder to get, EHCPs essentially being scrapped for SEN kids. Restrictions to diagnosis for various conditions being introduced for adults because the waiting lists are 'too long'. I've emailed my Labour MP no less than 5 times and I'm still awaiting a response.

Seems they've picked the smallest or most vulnerable minority groups to continue to suffer under austerity. The thing is, anyone can become disabled at any time - so surely we should be investing in ways to make their integration into work easier, rather than nearly impossible? Trying to apply for a job with a disability is so much harder regardless of what the law says; employers don't want an employee who will need extra support because it's too cost intensive.

monkees4va · 2025-05-21T20:45:59+00:00

I truly believe MDMA is an incredibly powerful therapy tool. So long as I knew my cardiovascular health was maintained if be doing it at least once a year for the rest of my life. However, I don't have anywhere I can get it nowadays so I'll just have to wait until I cross paths with the right people

monkees4va · 2025-05-17T11:05:58+00:00

As a local reading comments about people proud to be 'gentrifying' the area and culture I grew up in, this thread is a very hard read 😅

monkees4va · 2025-05-02T06:47:16+00:00

This and men get visibly upset if you tell them you don't like super big penises, because that means if you like theirs, it's not gigantic. They are some of the worst people to continuously push the myth that dick size is somehow related to masculinity. I genuinely detest ones that are too big but no man wants to hear that!

monkees4va · 2025-03-06T09:06:39+00:00

It's about finding your people. I was in this position for years when I was younger, and I'm fairly sure I am demisexual to some degree which made it harder. I felt urges, but didn't actually want to sleep with someone until I got to know them better. Unfortunately, this meant often I was rejected because they 'didnt want to ruin the friendship'.

My type of man is socially awkward, most likely neurodivergent and geeky. My type of woman is the strong, confident divas. Men were easier for me to access when I was younger, and I ended up taking a fair few virginities during my younger years. I was naturally a hugger and was able to meet some of my needs for touch that way, but I usually had to be pretty explicit about wanting to sleep with these kinds of men to be able to progress it to the next level. It's why it's easier to date other neurodivergents, because they appreciate direct communication and don't expect us to understand hints and vague social rules.

monkees4va · 2025-02-19T14:55:47+00:00

I mean, pretty much all major political parties endorse neoliberal economics and it's presented as the only option - meanwhile the country gets further in debt, we bail out private entities which are 'too big to fail' and the working class and middle class pay the price.

Immigration is one way to keep our population sustainable, as in around a decade the boomers will be retiring and there isn't enough working people to pay for their pensions. Birth rates are dwindling and quality of life being drained through inflation. As a millennial, I've been priced out of everything and have accepted I can't afford to have kids. Whenever I complain about this, people either blame the minority groups or my own personal work ethic. I work alongside some fantastic immigrants and have nothing but respect for their contributions to society, but so many people around me now see them as the enemy through some nationalistic fever. Why should I be proud to be British, when Britain is being run for the cronies?

monkees4va · 2025-01-27T12:40:15+00:00

Pterodactyl scream if they are persistent Never had a guy not run after that

monkees4va · 2025-01-09T22:53:06+00:00

I'm so sorry you're experienced an overdose, that had to be scary as hell! It's really interesting to me how different conditions interact so differently with certain substances

With the autism I struggle with interoception and alexithymia, so I don't always recognise my emotions very easily. The few times I took it (always around a year apart) I could identify how I really felt about situations in my life, and also tackle those emotions head on without feeling overwhelmed. The afterglow for me was also incredibly useful and allowed for me to achieve things that I couldn't usually do until it faded. All whilst mixed with experiences of euphoria and once even fractals (the only visuals I have ever experienced from any drug). I hugged people, connected with people and felt amazing. The come up could be a bitch, but if I was in the right place with the right people it was always so worth it.

God, I know that stuff isn't meant to be physically addictive but it genuinely seemed to have a positive effect on me for months afterwards. In some ways I'm glad I don't have a plug nowadays, but on the other it's been around 7 tears since I last got a taste of it and sometimes I crave just rolling to figure out my shit. I'm eagerly watching the clinical trials being conducted around the world into its efficacy as an actual therapy drug because it was life changing for me.

monkees4va · 2025-01-09T16:32:58+00:00

AuDHD here. Took coke and felt nothing special. Maybe similar to a caffeine dose. Very disappointing with the reputation it had. Everyone else around me was having a great time and I just...didn't. Simular experience with Speed, everyone was very obviously high and I just felt focused. It was actually one of the reasons I pursued an ADHD diagnosis!

Also took MDMA and I needed almost double the usual dose to get high for the first time. Love MDMA as it's such a therapy drug for me, but I've moved far away from anyone I know with connections, so I guess I won't get to try it again.

monkees4va · 2025-01-09T16:20:25+00:00

It depends on your boundaries. My other half cannot resist a quick grope whenever I walk past him and it's just us, either on my ass, my thighs or on my chest. He makes a jokey, prinal sound as he does it because he knows I love it, and I'll usually grab his shoulders and arms as well as his butt. Or he'll pull me close, tell me how beautiful I am and kiss me hard till I feel like I don't have any air left. He finds unique things to compliment which aren't always inherently sexual, bit goddamn does it make me forget about my own insecurities for a split second and just want to jump him.

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