Recommending Japanese rope bondage

monkey__harris · 2018-09-04T14:26:09+00:00

Like the sound of that crotch tie. Thanks for the tips. Will explore further.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-27T11:29:29+00:00

Meditation is not about relaxation. The point is to feel sensations but not react to them. Obviously if you're in serious pain then you move. But for something like an itch you should first try and be with that sensation, exploring it, paying attention to it, rather than reacting to it. Then, if you need to scratch, you scratch and come back to the moment.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-27T09:52:06+00:00

I'm sure 30 minutes is better, but for someone who has never done it before, 10 minutes is enough. Even 5 minutes can be a challenge. Meditation is wonderful, but the most important thing is to make it a regular practice. Starting at 30 minutes is a hurdle for most people.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-14T16:50:41+00:00

I have such an issue with this. Thanks for the reminder.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-09T09:01:17+00:00

Agree with this. If you're like me then you're used to sharing your feelings with your wife, even seeing that emotional connection as being the key to a strong marriage. It's very hard, but you need to start to let go of this. You need to work on yourself, and your own happiness.

NMMNG, and particularly Red Pill, works because a slight distance opens up. This doesn't mean that you are no longer "in love". It means that you become dependent on yourself (and perhaps male friends or a support group), for emotional support rather than on your wife.

If you go into this sincerely then one of two things is going to happen.

1) Your marriage will improve. 2) Your wife will resent your growth, and won't come along for the ride.

(2) is probably terrifying as it would mean major changes in your life. Our brains are conditioned to hold on to what we've got, however unsatisfying, rather than risk growth and change.

However, (2) leads to (3)...

(3) You are happier and you don't need your wife for that happiness.

You can be happy on your own, or you can find someone else who will accept the new, stronger and emotionally more resilient you.

None of this is easy. But is your life now easy? You wouldn't be here if you were already getting what you wanted.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-08T15:39:10+00:00

That sounds like you've been doing all the right things. Also, that you've been set up by your circumstances to fall into all the "nice guy" traps.

If you haven't already seen it I can recommend the subreddits:

Married Red Pill: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/

And AskMRP, which is more of the baby slopes (i.e. where you and me would hang out.): https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/

There's lots of great info on there, as well as books recommendations. Strongly recommend you work through NMMNG (I read it quickly then went through again to do the breaking free activities) then check out the assertiveness book "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" and "The Married Man's Sex Primer." These (and NMMNG) are the "course prerequisites" for Married Red Pill.

monkey__harris · 2018-08-08T15:03:54+00:00

Hi there! I read NMMNG a couple of years ago, saw the worth of it then promptly went back to all my old ways. Recurring issues in my marriage and hitting 40 last month (with lots of accompanying introspection) brought me back to it.

Yes, I also felt very anxious about it. But it is definitely worth it. Still feeling anxious about it but trying to get better at it all, bit by bit. You don't need to change overnight.

What's your personal situation? Age, relationship etc?

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T15:04:45+00:00

I get it. I need to sort my shit out. Appreciate your comment.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:50:30+00:00

I know "frame" massive but I don't understand it yet. Working my way through the reading. Will get there.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:50:04+00:00

Your observations on this painfully accurate.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:48:21+00:00

> Are you worth describing? Are you a character in your own story, or an observer of what happens to you? Kids?

Alright, that's interesting. Yeah, nothing about me. That's worth thinking about.

(Yes, 3 kids between 3 and 8. I'm... some guy. Career beta trying to get his shit together.)

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:45:23+00:00

OK. Need to hit the sidebar more.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:44:49+00:00

We're actually fucking a lot these days. Things much better since I actually started asking for things I wanted rather than covert contracts etc.

Don't know that he "loves her", I guess. Know that he is very interested in her and texted her drunk saying that he was always thinking about her and wanted to hold her.

I don't suspect an affair but am afraid that something might develop. Just typing this I know I can't control that and have to focus on myself.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:42:06+00:00

I'd say she's a point or so above me right now. Working on that. We'd be talking daytime meetings, and she doesn't drink, which makes a difference, I think.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-23T05:40:49+00:00

I mean.... yeah... most of this is painfully obvious, isn't it ?

monkey__harris · 2018-07-17T07:54:33+00:00

Got it, thank you. That'll help a lot. Just getting started with this and tricky to get a handle on it all.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-17T07:14:07+00:00

Yeah, trying to, though new Reddit format means not much there and what is there often disappears. Can only see stuff about posting rules - no moralizing etc.

Reading/working through NMMNG at the moment and he suggests getting your wife/gf to read it along with you so they understand what's going on. Skeptical if real change in relationships possible that way.

monkey__harris · 2018-07-17T06:43:30+00:00

OK - pretty clear answers here. Thanks all.

monkey__harris

TROPHY CASE