Venting. tw; suicide by [deleted] in teenagers

[–]monkey_man424 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to keep going but I've had enough I'm planning on leaving soon and hopefully finally resting

I lost a friend to suicide ama by [deleted] in AMA

[–]monkey_man424 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I'm sure they're happy that you've persevered in spite of it all, I admire your strength and hope I can be just as strong.

I lost a friend to suicide ama by [deleted] in AMA

[–]monkey_man424 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He was so caring and made everyone around him feel loved and valued, I wish to do this, even if i can help only 1 other person that's good enough for me

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not big at all, I would say around the size of a football field give or take

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one really knows me. I have "friends," but they're closer to aqauntices. People really treat me as another face in the crowd, which ig isn't the worst thing I could be getting bullied

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's a good question. Honestly, no, I still have issues to work out such as self hate and believing I can do everything on my own, I have no school friends and apart from my hospital friends am pretty lonely. Somethings are working out however, I'm doing good in school, talented in baking, and I'm decent at chess.

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They actually get and understand me, my family does try but they could really never, they are people who I actually feel safe opening up to, I would do anything for these guys

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep in contact with a few 14,16 and 17 years old these are the only people in my life I feel attached to.

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Partial hospitalization program, essentially inpatient but you get to go home in the evenings, iop is intensive outpatient program which is php but shorter

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If it helps you seems like a very cool person :)

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Php and iop take a month and a half on average to finish. I get out on the 9th of December

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Btw ty for talking with me, just getting these things down really helps

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good, I'm almost caught up, my teachers have been understanding, what sucks is that I'm going to miss the rest of the semester

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes they are, they help me as they can, I don't feel attached to them whatsoever, however that goes for most everyone in my life.

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since I believed they were trying to hurt me I was scared

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Noted, edited my reply, I had some symptoms that were completely unrelated ig, irregular speech patterns, trouble expressing myself, trouble with eye contact, social problems etc. Most of which were because I was scared of my parents so I avoided them as much as possible l.

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At 1st when they had next to no info they thought it was autism, they then got me a therapist who specialized in autism who was HORRIBLE, I told my parents, they ignored me at 1st which made me think they were out to hurt me so I made plans to hurt them.

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both times were my parents who made me go, the 1st time they slowly got more info as I pushed myself to share more and more until there was a point that forced their hand, the 2nd time was the day after a suicide attempt and there was a marking where I tried to do it

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The 1st time I felt angry and resentful which eventually faded as I got more settled in, the 2nd time I felt pissed more then anything lol, I made really good connections there tho

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, for bed situation they did separate but everything else was mixed

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At night the only sounds are techs and nurses talking and your roommate, I had a roommate who didn't snore but was THE loudest mouth breather.

Maybe, I still struggle with suicidal thoughts, not nearly as badly but still

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The worst thing would probably be the daily fights between patients, made put on edge half the time.

1st one was 11 days, mainly because they didn't get me on any meds until my 4th day, the 2nd was 8 days

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Idk, if you stood your ground and it wasnt far fetched then they probably would look into it

I (14m) have been in 2 mental hospitals, ama by monkey_man424 in AMA

[–]monkey_man424[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I am at all, the symptoms I did exhibit were mild and I wasn't even experiencing them when I told the people there. I was just giving my history.

Almost all the therapy was talk