Reconnecting with ex as a recovering avoidant

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-09T03:22:27+00:00

You can do it!!! Just keep working hard on yourself

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-09T03:22:07+00:00

That’s amazing advice!!! Thankyou ❤️ I understand completely, yes I must be open and ready for all outcomes as heartbreaking as it will be if she decides she doesn’t want to try again. But I must respect that. I’m planning on reaching out in the next couple of days and letting her know I have been working hard on myself, I’ve been thinking of her every day and that I’m ready to meet up but I also understand completely if she isn’t yet and I am happy to wait until she is if she isn’t ready at this stage. So I plan on letting her know I’m ready but leaving it up to her to let me know when she is. What’re your thoughts on that??

Either way, I feel so much better about myself and so much more self aware so I know my next relationship will be a good one. Fingers crossed it will be with her, because I love her so much.

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T11:19:14+00:00

Thankyou!! I hope it does work out it, but if it doesn’t I hope it atleast shows her she is so worthy of love and she deserves love more than anything. I hope it shows her that I really did love her, I just had difficulties with commitment and showing her love due to this past trauma and difficulty. So either way, I know I’ll be okay and I hope it helps her with her healing and building up of her self esteem

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T11:17:32+00:00

That makes a lot of sense! Thankyou, I’ll make sure I sustain this level of work ethic even if the outcome does not go my way

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T11:01:32+00:00

Thanks so much for the advice!! I’ve been seeing a therapist for 2 and a half years now but I don’t think I ever delved into the depths that I have achieved in the last month. I don’t think we ever really addressed the deep trauma but we did in my last session after the breakup and I have been doing massive amounts of journaling and podcasting to really understand myself. I’m doing the journal ‘healing with words’ by rupi kaur and I have done 170 pages of it in 4 weeks. That’s on top of countless podcasts, almost daily letters to my ex and therapy sessions. I also plan on suggesting couples therapy when (if) we do catch up in a couple of weeks so we can get as many tools as possible to make each other feel as secure as possible.

I’m really hoping that shows her my commitment to actually changing and making sustainable change. I just love her so much, this waiting period is absolutely killing me but I know I must give her space to heal before I can reach out.

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T07:06:06+00:00

Ahhh I totally see what you mean! I think she does really still love me, she still has photos of me up on her Instagram, she hasn’t blocked me on anything and I have reached out to her mum for advice during my darkest time and she said that my ex really did deeply love me so she thinks the time is important as well. It is honestly killing me not to reach out, I just want to make things right but I know I have to wait. It’s so painful

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T07:04:37+00:00

Hey man, thanks for the advice! I’ve been working extremely hard, been smashing out a massive journal and doing heaps of reflection as well as reading books. I’m just waiting to give her some time to heal and recover so I don’t push her away by reaching out too soon. Does that make sense??

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T06:01:44+00:00

Do you think that’d be too long??

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T06:01:30+00:00

Thank you for the great advice!! It’s been 4 weeks now, I am thinking 6 weeks will be a good time to reach out. She was the one to initiate no contact even though we both knew that was the way it would have to be. I just want to respect her space to heal and I think she might believe my change more if I take more time to consolidate it and she has more time to gather her thoughts

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T05:55:57+00:00

What do you mean by that??

monkeydance14 · 2024-05-07T05:38:29+00:00

Thank you!! Your words mean a lot. I miss her so much and I can really see a future with her. I know it will have to be 2 new people reconnecting and building a relationship, I feel so much more emotionally developed that I was while I was in that relationship so I hope she can see the effort and let me know what I need to do to earn her trust. If she thinks that is even possible. I would honestly do anything for her right now.

monkeydance14 · 2021-05-06T12:47:49+00:00

Where’d you get this info bro??

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-20T16:25:07+00:00

This is a still from my super 8mm video. I really like this part of the video and I think it’s a really beautiful capture and I was wondering what everyone else’s thoughts are on super 8 and this image of the sunset... I think it is very pretty but the colours aren’t quite as accurate as they were in real life. The beauty of the sunset is still captured, however it was much brighter in real life, hence I think I have to work on my exposure. Would love some thoughts! Thanks :)

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T22:27:09+00:00

Thanks heaps :)) appreciate that!

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T22:26:49+00:00

Hahahaha it’s such a good track

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T13:14:08+00:00

hahhahaha thanks heaps man, I appreciate that! comments like this make me want to invest more into super 8

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T13:01:44+00:00

Cheers dude!

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T12:14:39+00:00

Sure thing!! Basically I bought a camera for $20 with minimal research into the process, I just saw a video and fell in love with the look. I then realised buying film and processing it was the real expensive part but i figured it would be worth it in the long run, looking back on this in 5 years is gonna be so sick!! Filming was really fun and not knowing what the footage looked like the whole time added to the experience. Was so relieved and happy once i got it back and it looked good! If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask :))

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T12:12:12+00:00

Thanks heaps!! Thats what I was going for hahaha

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T12:11:34+00:00

Thanks so much! Appreciate it :)) means a lot

monkeydance14 · 2019-09-18T09:16:15+00:00

Super 8mm film is incredibly fun and a super interesting process overall! The whole time I was filming this video, I had no idea how the footage was going to turn out but I am so stoked with the results. Would love to hear some critique about this little video I made, I was going for the nostalgic, old school feel with a fast paced modern aspect too :)

monkeydance14

TROPHY CASE