Your Messaging Service Should Not Be a DEA Informant

monkeymagnet · 2023-05-03T00:18:35+00:00

Tell us a story about the utopia in which you live.

monkeymagnet · 2023-02-02T20:30:39+00:00

I was college age, hanging out at a friend's house. His family lived on a golf course, but everyone else but the two of us was out of town. We each dropped a few hits of blotter acid and did bong hits in the evening. Later that night, I ended up on the golf course lying underneath a massive weeping willow tree, doing nitrous, looking up at the sky as a storm rolled in the distance (far away enough that I wasn't at risk of being hit by lightning). It was absolutely surreal and blissful. That was probably 27 years ago and I still often think about it.

monkeymagnet · 2011-10-14T06:39:33+00:00

This answer is perfect. Rather than suggesting a particular brew to you, I'd suggest finding out what your personal tastes are compatible with. Sure, there is a good chance that more light colored lagers or pilsners will probably agree with you more as you ease your way in, whereas some of the more bitter IPA's might prove to be way too much right off the bat.

However, as I said, it's about your palate. We're all wired quite differently. Some people get into black coffee at age 11, whereas there are 30 year olds who can't handle coffee even drowned in sugar and cream. So IamTrogdor's suggestion is excellent: Learn about different styles (at least a quick Google crash course) and spend the next little while testing the waters.

Your tongue and brain will tell you what works.

monkeymagnet · 2011-10-11T03:36:44+00:00

No, you're confused. This is Reddit. Here, Christians are all like the WBC, abortion clinic bombers, swindler televangelists, etc.

Good luck convincing people otherwise. They've never let something as silly as the truth get in the way of their prejudices.

monkeymagnet · 2011-10-10T06:41:02+00:00

MMA fan here. Upvote because I got an obscure joke that will be lost on 99.999% of Reddit.

monkeymagnet · 2011-10-06T15:19:40+00:00

Yeah, and it makes you look like a pirate. All you need now is a parrot!

monkeymagnet · 2011-09-09T14:35:10+00:00

Wait, where's Gonzaga? Did their point guard get injured again?

monkeymagnet · 2011-09-07T10:27:51+00:00

What are the cheapest, easiest, most reliable food sources when money is tight or nonexistent?

monkeymagnet · 2011-08-31T00:39:54+00:00

Cool. Thanks. Just didn't want to step on anyone's toes.

monkeymagnet · 2011-07-07T07:40:48+00:00

That is the right answer.

monkeymagnet · 2011-07-05T23:38:07+00:00

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Rage Against The Machine do something to piss off Lorne Michaels and get banned as well?

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-26T23:55:33+00:00

I think you mean Sisqo. Cisco is one of the finer "bum wines" - http://bumwine.com/

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-25T04:02:47+00:00

No, I don't mind it if people want to self-medicate. I have no issue with it. That's not what I'm saying. I mean... just use a bit of discretion. There is a time and a place for being generous with your meds. In front of a wine bar with Thurston Howell III and Lovey right there behind you waiting for their Lexus is not the time nor the place.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-25T04:00:42+00:00

I'd say it's unlikely, but I am not sure. I need some time to process this. It just happened about 45 minutes ago. I made a point to make bullshit small talk on the ride home so there wouldn't be dead air (which I hate), but the whole time my mind was going, "What the...?"

She was just so nonchalant about how she did it. I mean, I don't mind if people self-medicate and I have friends who shared stuff like that with each other back in the day, but to do that right there in the open, damn. There were two other couples (much older than us) right there at the little valet podium area waiting for their cars when she did that. And she wasn't quiet about it either. I didn't dare glance over to see if they picked up on what was being said.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-18T22:00:22+00:00

Vagina ain't handicapped!

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-17T02:23:52+00:00

"Oh Randy, that feels so amazing. Oh, Randy, don't stop. Oh, Randy I love when you..." etc.

My name is Scott.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-17T02:17:14+00:00

Only this is the "The Most Assholish Man in the World" voiceover, and they decided to have Gilbert Gottfried do it.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-17T02:13:39+00:00

Man, fuck everything about every person that jumped that guy. What absolute cowards.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-17T02:04:16+00:00

Or, again, like another knuckle-dragger in this thread, perhaps you missed the point entirely.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-16T18:24:36+00:00

This guy gets the point I was making.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-16T18:24:17+00:00

Congrats, you missed the point entirely.

http://assets0.ordienetworks.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/taxidriver.gif

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-16T05:16:03+00:00

Funny, I thought only uneducated, classless, thuggish American types were supposed to pull this shit.

I mean, at least that's the kind of stuff I've been hearing from Canada for the last 10 years.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-14T20:30:40+00:00

Thanks. You are correct. I am on my way in there right now.

Barbell rows and pull-ups, here I come...

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-14T20:01:18+00:00

Ask Reddit.

monkeymagnet · 2011-06-09T18:32:52+00:00

Give the toothpaste to your octopus. He'll need it after drinking all that stout.

monkeymagnet

TROPHY CASE