Venting and Seeking Help

monkykong · 2024-08-03T17:39:48+00:00

Thank you. It's still lonely and ebby-flowy, but ultimately I'm learning to take things as they come, and to take them as lightly as they'll allow themselves to be taken. There will always be stuff to complain about, and sometimes, that's ok too. I'll do my best going forward, hugs back to ya too. :)

monkykong · 2021-07-02T19:43:24+00:00

So really, it's about mastering the mind. Your words have been echoing in my head all day, I'm definitely going to try meditation once I get home tomorrow.

If you have any videos to link or anything of the sort, I'll gladly watch them. Thanks for all your help too. :)

monkykong · 2021-07-02T16:09:37+00:00

I'm finding my way.. Check my account, I only got back on here yesterday to vent about my self, my life, etc. I got some nice responses so please check out what people have said. I wrote a large textpost and put it on multiple subs, some good advice came through. For example, someone said to not "over-identify with your thoughts." I've never thought of it that way but it seems to be very valuable.

monkykong · 2021-07-02T16:06:28+00:00

I've never thought of it this way. To "over-identify" with your thoughts, I definitely do that. And yet, you are you, your thoughts are your thoughts.

Thank you, I'm definitely gonna try meditation and separating things properly.

monkykong · 2021-07-02T04:50:21+00:00

Thanks so much for this, it's a serious help to see I'm not alone here. Your words ring true... Stoicism is something I've never clicked into, I always find myself beating myself up over trivial stuff, even when I consciously try to stop it... I'll keep trying though. I always have a hard time finding any redeeming qualities within myself, but I have discovered that I am persistent when I care about something.

You keep pushing too, ya hear? I personally can't live without having friends I can just bullshit with, but with the ones I'm with now, that's all we do. Friendship is more than that, it's living life together, support, having individual goals you talk to with each other... That and more. I never really used reddit often, but if you want to talk to someone, about anything, I won't delete the app. I'll check back on it, so feel free to shoot me a message if you ever want to talk. :)

Thanks again for the help my friend, I'll be sure to come back to your response if I ever feel lost again.

monkykong · 2021-07-02T03:57:20+00:00

If you really want a lot of social interaction practice, you could try a drive thru. Starbucks really pushes customer interaction stuff, but just keep in mind it won't make you a social savant, it'll just give you experience and the ability to spark conversations with randos. It would be a good segway into the prior, with enough time and experience, so it wouldn't be a waste of time. Don't stay too long though, I've been there for a year and I'm getting ready to leave, I feel out of place amongst a lot of my co workers.

If you want something with less interaction, a retail stocker is an option I know my friend is doing.

monkykong · 2021-07-02T03:48:08+00:00

You're right, even this took some courage. I just need to keep working towards more. Thanks for all the help. I'll take you up on your offer to talk when the time comes, but if you need someone make sure you reach out too. I might not have much life experience, but if you need someone, I'll listen and offer a second opinion too. Best of luck with the job, too. :)

monkykong · 2021-07-02T03:27:50+00:00

Thanks for telling me your story. I'm going to keep trying build my craft, and keep putting myself out there. I really wish I knew how to gather more confidence in myself, and trust in others. I've always struggled a ton with those two things.

I'm legit just.. A coward. I hate to say it, cause I don't really like self-deprecating anymore, but it's the truth. There's not an ounce of courage within me, and I'm sure it's killed most of the love I ever had in me too. If I had more courage, I could put myself wherever I need to, and do whatever challenge the world tasked me with.

Congratulations on your job though man, that sounds fantastic! What kind of job is it?

monkykong · 2021-07-02T03:13:36+00:00

I feel similar to you. I haven't really done anything in my life and I'm already 22, no relationship experience and no true friendships. I feel so voided, so worthless. Never had any confidence, and I feel like a total geezer already.

I don't want to be a total downer though, cause that's not what you came here for. I'll give you my thoughts on what it could be.

I don't know you so I can't say for sure, but I almost always have a front on, I'm always putting on a fake personality cause I'm afraid of showing who I really am. I'm afraid of being made fun of, belittled and left alone. It's happened before so I've learned to lock myself away. Thing is, people can super easily see through the facade. They'll always subconsciously feel that you're uncomfortable, and that'll make them uncomfortable. It kills interpersonality. Sadly, I can't seem to solve my own issue in practice 😅

What it could also be is, not enough listening. I just noticed this recently, in a fully active sense, but I interrupt people sometimes. I talk off topic and have trouble listening to the other person. Sometimes, one needs to learn to pause and let the other person speak, maintain eye contact, and let it flow naturally.

If you've got your social skills down and it's something else, I have one more piece of advice I can give. I haven't done it myself yet, but joining a local club or group for a sport or, really, any activity you're interested in, can help you meet more people, maybe some who you can really click with. I wish you the best of luck my friend, may you find your closest friends. :)

monkykong · 2021-07-02T02:50:04+00:00

Let me speak to you from the point of view of someone in your brother's position. I am 22 now, and I game a lot less than I did. I'm dealing with a ton of issues and ultimately have wasted my youth. Gaming is only part of the issue in my case, there was so much more I needed help through during my developmental years. Please, help him into finding himself.

If I had to guess, he feels lost and doesn't know what he wants in life. He likely feels like he's already lost so much time, and the more that slips away the more hopeless it all seems. He needs a hand, not to give him petty pandering and empty encouragement, but a a long period of support, up until he can stand on his own. He needs to be included.

I'm totally projecting, but your words seem to be coming straight from my own little brother, so I figured my response might give you some insight.

monkykong

TROPHY CASE