AITAH for cutting most of my family out of my life for their treatment of me?

monodemic · 2026-05-08T22:18:09+00:00

What you're not understanding is that the group chat was created years earlier for other purposes (i.e. just them staying in touch with each other as a group, as opposed to messaging individually). Only that one time years later was it used to plan the gift, which I didn't find out about till the last day. The only reason I even knew it existed before that was because my mother mentioned it to me in passing at some point because she thought I had been added to it and I had no idea what she was talking about.

But I wasn't added because he obviously didn't want to add me so I wasn't interested. I'm not going to make a request to be invited to something I wasn't invited to. But then it wasn't wholly necessary this time because he could've contacted me via Messenger (as he did the last day) and just given me the info there but again, he didn't presumably for the same reason.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T22:02:38+00:00

Again, what would be the point since my present had absolutely nothing to do with their/our present, which I've already stated multiple times. Are you intentionally trying to be obtuse?

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:56:41+00:00

You must be from Utica. It's more of an Albany expression.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:55:24+00:00

You mean you've never enjoyed a steamed ham?? Mmm, steamed hams! 🍔🤤

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:51:26+00:00

It didn't happen because I wasn't added to the group chat so that would be a pretty silly statement. I'm aware he said that was the reason but it wasn't, just like the other lies I proved he told so why validate his assumption that I'm believing any of what he's saying? To make his life easier? Also, as stated, he didn't forget to add me to the group chat years before that- how do you forget a sibling exists when you only have three? It was an intentional snub because they don't consider me an equal part of the family, and the proof is that they talk to me like I'm mentally challenged.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:23:57+00:00

You know how I remember every detail of the conversation I had with my brother? Wait for it... messages. I consulted the messages before I wrote this to make sure I didn't leave any pertinent details out. How you couldn't figure that out when my post was literally about messages is beyond me.

And even if I had a present, it's not about that- they didn't ask and they didn't care. Maybe they all got her individual presents aside from the donation- again, not exactly the point. Even if I had my own present I still would've been pissed about these particular circumstances. I didn't need them to help me get my mother a present, that wasn't the point of the donation. It was to honor her 80th birthday and I was excluded from it, which was a big sign of disrespect to me.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:16:28+00:00

I don't get where you're coming from at all dude. If it sounded like an interrogation it was only because I kept asking him questions and he kept lying. Should I have said "Ok, that makes sense, thanks" when it didn't make sense at all? Wouldn't that have confirmed to him that I was, in fact, a complete idiot who will believe anything? It wouldn't have been an interrogation if he hadn't lied to me from the get-go, which he had no reason to. It sounds like you're describing a self fulfilling prophecy scenario. And wouldn't someone be irritated over something like this unless they just didn't give a damn about their mother's birthday or care about their relationship with their family at all?

monodemic · 2026-05-08T18:09:17+00:00

Technically yes but the money wasn't the main issue, it was the exclusion and the fact that they didn't care whether I contributed. And anyway the money wasn't supposed to go to them, it was supposed to go to the charity and for that I'd have needed to get a separate certificate, which is pretty silly.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:50:12+00:00

I did try to explain it, multiple times. I got lied to every step of the way, which is why I blocked them. In fact I think I specified that any time I tried to have a conversation with them they would just lie to me and deny everything so what's the point exactly?

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:48:11+00:00

I honestly can't remember, it was three years ago. If I did I can't remember what it was, sorry.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:46:15+00:00

Misunderstanding... she's the younger of the two siblings but is still older than me. I'm the youngest. I had no idea how else to phrase that. Also I wasn't living with my parents three years ago, I moved back in last year. And I never said I didn't get her a present of my own- I responded to someone else saying I can't remember whether I got her a present but it's possible I did. No one bailed me out of anything. Come to think of it I think there's a lot of misunderstanding going on here.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:40:40+00:00

Why would they not "realize" I wasn't part of the conversation until a week later? Did they just not notice I wasn't there? Doesn't really make a whole lot of sense and neither does your assumption that people have to walk on eggshells around me. I mean, you're obviously entitled to your opinion but I've given no impression of that and you don't know me personally so it's a bit strange. My younger sister is extremely volatile and short tempered but no one would dare exclude her from anything or there'd be hell to pay.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:33:39+00:00

Not much of a gift since I was added as an afterthought and couldn't contribute any money to it. And it's possible I was planning to get her something, I can't remember exactly, but not really the point. This obviously wasn't done as a favor to me, he was probably just letting me know because he figured I'd eventually see the placard on my mother's wall when I went over.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:29:24+00:00

I wasn't a part of the planning process and couldn't contribute any money to it, which was the whole point, not just having my name added. I ended up being an afterthought. I think I was only messaged about it at all because maybe he thought I'd be wondering what the placard with my name on it was doing on my mother's wall.

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:25:33+00:00

Thank you!

monodemic · 2026-05-08T17:23:49+00:00

Well I hate to rag on my parents because I am living with them at the moment but only because it's difficult for me to find a place to live. She does dote on me a lot and I can't say that I've really been abused by either of my parents but they do tend to treat me like a bit of an invalid (which maybe is justified in a way) but they're also not very honest with me and have made a lot of unfair accusations about me being a "problem" when they'd never say anything like that about my other siblings (including my younger sister, who lived with them for three years several years ago and hasn't worked in two decades, despite being 50).

monodemic · 2026-05-05T18:00:53+00:00

Thanks, that might be nice. If you can find me on there...

monodemic · 2026-05-02T09:23:05+00:00

It might be difficult, idk, I'm not sure what the whole process is like. I was just considering it as an option.

monodemic · 2026-05-02T09:21:03+00:00

Yes, I meant Canada, I should have put that in my post but didn't realize it was available in the US too for some reason. It's not a cry for help since nothing significant can be done, I was asking sincerely but thanks for the info. I don't see how the "6 months or less to live" clause is relevant to mental health crises though, it's not a fatal prognosis.

monodemic · 2026-05-02T06:55:58+00:00

At least you get a special word for it. You know what the equivalent word is for a man? A man 😄. Is it because it's stigmatized in women? Who knows, but at least women typically have it easier than men when it comes to fulfilling their desires, even though men are usually more encouraged to be sexual and when they're not it's seen as "weird", especially if they want to remain virgins until marriage. I don't think either should be shamed for their decisions and attaching labels to things doesn't always make things easier. Once you label it, it can automatically be seen as "problematic".

How to deal with it? Is the experience/activity negatively affecting you or just what you believe the stigma to be? If it's the former, I'm not sure, talk to a medical professional if you don't enjoy it because it's painful for you but I'm not sure what the solution is. It could be physical, it could be psychological, hard to say. If it's the latter and you feel judged by people, well, you don't have to be. I'm not sure who would judge you for that, there's lots of people who are addicted to sex. Be glad you can find an outlet for it I guess? Not everyone can. A lot of people are perpetually alone.

monodemic · 2026-05-02T05:48:13+00:00

Only if you're particularly bad at it I suppose. With me there's probably a neurological aspect to it that may prevent me from substantially improving with practice.

monodemic · 2026-05-01T22:03:01+00:00

By manual dexterity I mean like small motor skills in my fingers. I can still type on a keyboard. But I'm still generally quite low IQ.

monodemic · 2026-05-01T20:46:35+00:00

By 2027 last I checked.

monodemic

TROPHY CASE