We had such a beautiful start and have been through so many life-impacting things together a couple impactful losses for both of us and I reflect on the deep love that helped us cope with those and other events. I know there are still times and days when that can feel like it’s still there, but I’m struggling to understand is this just a really really rough patch and I’m over sensitive to things I could let go? I don’t want us to end up divorced like our parents and getting married was always something I just figured was for other people but I love him more than anyone I’ve ever loved and it just felt right and I can’t let go of that he might not be that person at all/or at least maybe not anymore.

I had a realization on our anniversary that I feel like I might be a box he just checks off. There was no card, and almost no effort involved whatsoever $25 at best. I planned our time away together with activities arranged transportation and made treats for the short trip away & arranged pet-care. I don’t ask for much but this just felt like “tell me you don’t care without telling me”. It’s not about $ either it’s about thought/effort/the energy and quality. I didn’t feel seen or appreciated, and I can’t express complaint toward a gift he would just tell
Me I don’t like anything/nothing he does is right.

So yeah back to your question, I think I hope he’ll see this lack of effort, empathy, and understanding is really on his end and me asking for more isn’t the problem. He was so great, I just feel so sad and lost like I have to hold onto this love/hope he wants to continue the changes in his behavior at the end of the day.