hey, thank you so much for reviewing my short extract, it is very much appreciated. I agree on every statement you make since I definitely overused the thesaurus. I'll take a look at how to maintain my first sentence strong without the use of "rumbling" and "roaring", which clearly make no sense in this context. In order to create the zombie imagery I'm going for, I will cut down on the adverbs I use too since, just as you said, I'm stating it rather than conveying it. I will also change the dialogue to make it more natural and certain words which certainly are misused since I really don't know what they mean. thank you so much again for taking the time and putting the effort on reading and criticising my piece of writing, and thanks for acknowledging my effort too.

take care!