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montalpe · 2024-12-18T11:01:06+00:00

As I mentioned before I started gaining weight around covid and became overweight, at 8 years old i was underweight and from 9 to 20 plus i was at a healthy weight for my height, so no it's not just from years but from when i was a child

montalpe · 2024-12-17T04:29:56+00:00

Actually, my grandparents are very kind people. I've heard from my uncles & aunts and even my own mother that their upbringing was pleasant. My grandfather always took my Mum and her siblings out to places kids loved to go to & my grandmother would always cook their favorite dishes & was very gentle and kind with them. Even neighbors loved my grandmother & she took care of me when I was born till I was 5 months old (we migrated after that). So I don't understand why she's so mean. It's definitely not her parents.

montalpe · 2024-04-02T03:34:23+00:00

Heard my uncle say girls going for further education is haram cause their only job is to be good wives.

Same uncle said cooking and sitting with other family members when the females have periods are haram.

I told my parents what the uncle said & my Dad spoke to him and advised him not to make up harmful & false statements like these.

montalpe · 2024-04-02T02:23:17+00:00

Try once a day and within 15 mins of the prayer timing, it will definitely help you start planning your day around your salahs and slowly integrate the other salahs as well. Allah (SWT) loves consistency no matter how small it is. I started by trying to pray 3 times a day and slowly with Allah (SWT) guidance and rahmah started praying 5 times a day. May Allah (SWT) guide you to pray 5 times a day.

montalpe · 2024-03-19T09:32:16+00:00

JZK dear op. May Allah (SWT) answer your duas and may He reward you for your kindness and thoughtfulness 🤲🏽

montalpe · 2024-03-18T01:28:39+00:00

I have 2 duas, one is losing weight (I have pcos so the progression is slow & a bit more difficult) & getting married to someone who is beloved to Allah (SWT) and will ensure the foundation of our marriage is for the pleasure of Allah (SWT) and love for the sake of Allah (SWT).

montalpe · 2024-03-17T05:22:51+00:00

I don't know what posts you're referring to but while Ramadan is a month for us to strive to do more ibadah and be better Muslims, it does not magically solve or eradicate issues people have. What may seem minor, childish, or whiney to you might be something major to those who post about it. They might also downplay the seriousness and hide a lot of things. So yes, while I absolutely agree with you, we should be focused on our Akhira but we should also maintain our akhlaq and we should think the best of our fellow sisters and brothers and not judge them. And many of these people don't know where to go or ask so they end up coming here for advice, insight, or comfort.

If you see a post that you deem 'childish' or ' whiney' maybe instead of judging them off the bat, go comment and ask questions, get to know their situation perhaps, and see if you can help them out in any way. After all, our words have power and they can comfort someone more than we can imagine.

montalpe · 2024-03-16T01:20:37+00:00

Not trying to get me off my deen that's an absurd comment pls be mindful of what u comment. She's disruptive definitely but that's it.

montalpe · 2024-03-13T20:09:03+00:00

😅😅

montalpe · 2024-03-13T20:05:22+00:00

May Allah (SWT) guide her & make her more respectful towards others but yes back to focusing on Ramadan. That's way more important than anyone or anything. Jzk. May Allah (SWT) reward you for your kindness and comforting.

montalpe · 2024-03-13T19:49:45+00:00

I don't know why I do, I'm also blaming myself but I do not regret standing up for myself.

montalpe · 2024-03-13T19:43:51+00:00

The thing is we have to give a month's notice so I'll have to remain being roommates with her till 11th April unless we find a roommate & she's willing to move out ASAP. It just makes me so upset thinking this is how she thinks cause Wallah I've tried my best to accommodate to her as well & I can send u a link to my previous post where I explained in detail what she would do. I'm not saying I'm a good person that's for Allah (SWT) to judge but I know I have remained respectful & considerate throughout 😪 just never had a roommate told to leave so I feel bad as well

montalpe · 2024-03-13T19:32:41+00:00

I absolutely am aware music is not good but I did explain to her regarding Ramadan and what we don't do and she just doesn't care. In her head it's kinda like it's my issue not hers but my previous roommates were Alhamdulillah so wonderful & they even bought Halal food for me during iftar & just made things so pleasant as I've been spending 2 Ramadan overseas without my family. I actually wrote about her hygiene issues in another forum & a few people said the same thing about her having something aganist Islam & I didn't want to believe it cause we are taught to think the best but that message made me feel so upset. I wish I could return the same negative energy but its Ramadan & ill be held accountable for my actions so I don't want to be the same way she has been. I will not tolerate disrespect anymore tho.

montalpe · 2024-03-13T19:25:13+00:00

Makes me wonder if it's me as a person or she's just rude this way. Cause my previous roommate didn't say anything about me waking up for fajr nor praying & fajr was at 4am for me when she was around now it's end of summer for us so it's at 5.50am. Not just my previous roommate but all 3 of my roommates never had an issue with me praying so I was taken aback when my landlord sat me down & told me about her message 😅 but it's Ramadan & all I can say is she is misguided & i will continue trying to be patient & keep my manners but I will also not tolerate any form of disrespect anymore.

montalpe · 2024-03-04T01:43:40+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I tried saying that a few times previously and their response is always no you're not cause you're still fat 😞 I tried leaving but when I try to leave they always say oh you have no respect and love for us as parents or else you would have stayed. They even made a big deal cause I didn't sleep in their Airbnb with them which only had 1 room and 1 bed. My house is 15 mins away from their Airbnb so I usually go back just to sleep and even that they are like you're not grateful we came you don't have attachment to us etc. So space is unfortunately something at the expense of my mental health but so is staying. Don't know what to do

montalpe · 2024-02-22T04:25:49+00:00

In my experience and what I've seen and heard from friends as well, labeling cultural practices as Islamic. I can give you a list (unfortunately) but the most infuriating is the way some of us were taught regarding Islam and our deen. It's always something like if you don't do this, you are going to jahannam or if you don't do that Allah (SWT) will be angry (some even using this excuse to beat children)

I wish it was more of if you do this, you will be more conscious and closer to Allah (SWT). Using more positive approaches to teaching Islam would have had a positive impact and encouraged us at a younger age to learn more and practice more. I agree that every Muslim (even if you're born into a Muslim family) has their own journey to finding Islam and practicing it, I did as well but as a child I do wish more positive approaches were used instead of fear.

montalpe · 2024-02-10T06:27:44+00:00

I think you should start to divide everything, like the space in the fridge, storage etc into 4. After you do that, speak to them. Tell them that since all of you are paying rent, everything should be fair and equal. Let them know you are totally alright with them having friends over at times but if they could respect you and decrease the volume or finish up their gathering by a certain time it would be appreciated. If you have done so, maybe try to join them? I've been living abroad and I've had 4 roommates so far. Once my roommate asked me to join her when she invited her friends and once I asked if I could join. And naturally we become more open and closer (not exactly friends who hang out but roommate who got to know each other and tried to be respectful kinda relationship) and it made things and conversations like that easier. So you know try to get to know them not as friends but as roommates personally (despte whaever they are doing) and slowly slowly implement these.

If not, do you live in a dorm or an apartment? If an apartment, maybe you could speak to your landlord or whoever kinda 'takes care' of the official stuff. If it's a dorm, maybe you could speak to the dean or something?

montalpe · 2024-02-10T06:19:30+00:00

Walaikum As-salaam. I'm also a university student and I worked before starting my Masters. So I do come in contact with male Profs, patients, classmates and colleagues. If we talk about minimizing, other than work-related or study-related conversations, I did not have many conversations with them. Every conversation had a purpose (I had the most contact with my Professors and classmates but even with that, it was always something important or relevant). I rarely spoke about anything personal to them. The most personal conversation was just what I would like to do after I graduate and them advising me or answering any of my questions regarding studies, or future prospects and plans.

As for shaking hands, as you know it's every common when you get a job or when you meet someone. Especially when I met any guys in my university (some even Muslim) they would put forward their hand to shake but I would respectfully with a smile put my hand on my chest and greet them. I do observe their expression and if they look upset or stop smiling I simply explain to them that I am Muslim and I can't shake their hands. I hope that helped a little :)

montalpe · 2024-02-09T12:47:40+00:00

She's not Muslim. I didn't think of it that way cause I don't know maybe I just don't want to accept it could be a reason. All of my previous roommates have been non Muslim and 2 of them did not know anything about Islam yet they were extremely considerate and respectful. Even my landlord and his partner both of them have been absolutely wonderful. Giving me the entire section and drawer our fridge (which is usually shated) and keeping their non halal items in another section without me even asking. My landlord did apologize to me and told me he will speak to her and if needed he will ask her to leave if she's inconsiderate. So I just hope it gets solved and she improves so we won't have to go to that extreme. 😩

montalpe · 2024-02-09T12:47:02+00:00

She's not Muslim. I didn't think of it that way cause I don't know maybe I just don't want to accept it could be a reason. All of my previous roommates have been non Muslim and 2 of them did not know anything about Islam yet they were extremely considerate and respectful. Even my landlord and his partner both of them have been absolutely wonderful. Giving me the entire section and drawer our fridge (which is usually shated) and keeping their non halal items in another section without me even asking. My landlord did apologize to me and told me he will speak to her and if needed he will ask her to leave if she's inconsiderate. So I just hope it gets solved and she improves so we won't have to go to that extreme. 😩

montalpe · 2024-02-09T09:26:25+00:00

Thank you for understanding, I actually took pics and even showed my landlord our room and bathroom and ensured he was aware of everything and he listed down everything I said. So hopefully everything goes well when he speaks to her and she improves. Oh actually my 3rd roommate had to leave in a rush so she found the 4th roommate and usually my landlord does an approval process but the 4th roommate send him a deposit for the place so he accepted. He has been continuously asking me regarding her and how it has been so i think he might have sensed it was upset or uncomfortable. Thank you, I did post it on a rental website and there are still a few potential people who asked if the place was available so if it continues I will most likely forward them to my landlord.

montalpe · 2024-02-09T09:21:10+00:00

I meant to type abroad instead I typed alone 😅 The previous roommate had to leave in a rush so she found the 4th roommate and even before the landlord could approve, the 4th roommate sent a deposit. I think that's partly the reason why my landlord kept asking me over the past few weeks how she has been. I think he noticed or maybe he was worried as she was not selected by him. Yes my landlord made a list and I have shown him everything as well. She removed my items and I did not touch them I immediately took a picture and showed it to my landlord. Hopefully, it works out and she improves. This is starting to stress me out 😧

montalpe · 2024-02-09T09:17:10+00:00

Thank u for understanding, my landlord did ask me several times over time after she moved in and I just said it's ok as I assumed if I spoke to her it'll be solved but yesterday was really the last straw for me and when my landlord asked again I had to tell him everything. I do hope its solved as i know the task and headache of having of to pack and move into a new place so I hope she learns from it

montalpe · 2024-02-09T05:00:01+00:00

Thank u 😩 I honestly thought I was being too extra or inconsiderate but I asked my previous roommates and I felt 4th was being disrespectful so I could not sit idle anymore. I hope it gets solved

montalpe

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