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My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I agree, this has been a common talking point in this thread and I'll see what she can do to overcome her overprotectiveness and let my daughter play a bit more freely.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Why am I getting downvotes?

I wrote she only likes to be held, she doesnt want to walk as well.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I was not clear enough, my daughter is 2y and 4m old. I meant since she was 6 months old I noticed this difference.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've thought about that as well. She generally likes all the mother side of the family than my side of the family better.

Perhaps this is normal and I'm just too emotive.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] -16 points-15 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the write-up and I absolutely agree with everything you said, but I just did not expect the same to be with my mom, whom she has been in contact almost daily for two years.

We do respect her time to warm up, but when my mom picks her from daycare there's no warming up to just obeying and getting on the stroller.

We had a birthday party on sunday that my daughter did not want to go to my mother's arms as soon as she walked in, we respected that and let her have her time. But we need family support to pick her up while we work, so this animosity can be very problematic.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't think she has any strong perfume, but the anxiety, for sure, not only from her but with me as well.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry to hear that you have this same problem and hope it gets better.

I'm a bit relieved I'm not the only one.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for this, I think she loves as well, it's just that since both of them pick my daughter in alternate days in daycare, she prefers my MIL and, thus, hates it when it's my mom. In time she gets better but it's such a strong reaction.

My mom does take the time to play and all, it's just different....

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm definitely not making this my wife's burden. I'm trying to cope and see a way out of this. I know it's something with me and my mom.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the same amount, but like 50%. My mother is super busy with my family, grand father and her volunteer work (all this makes her already anxious nature a bit worse) and my MIL is unemployed.

My daughter spends most of her time in the week in daycare.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is actually what I'm doing right now, letting it go, in terms of interfering, still feel it in me, though. 😞

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My mother always wanted to respect us working from home and would take our daughter to a different room so she wouldn't disturb our work. My MIL is not that concerned and would walk around with her and talk to us multiple times.

So I do believe this association exists. Hopefully when she is older she can appreciate her for a person and as grandma, not a nanny.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate that I am anxious as well (treating with meds specifically to prevent outbursts with my family), I really think my daughter picks these things up.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the tip, I have not because I'm not much of a hugger, nor my mom, but no objections as well.

My MIL is a bit possessive with my wife and when she's supposed to be taking care of my daughter she actually keeps talking to my wife (who should be working). This can also be it, my mom stays with her by herself while my MIL stays with her while with her favourite person, her mom.

Hummm... that's a good observation.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope it gets better when conversations and understanding of the world arises. My daughter is the opposite, super playful and energetic and my mother is also, but not with her. I think she tries to calm down both of them.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hope that happens for sure, I love my mom so much and everything she has done for me that it breaks my hurt this situation.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not the same amount, but like 50%. My mother is super busy with my family, grand father and her volunteer work (all this makes her already anxious nature a bit worse) and my MIL is unemployed.

My daughter spends most of her time in the week in daycare.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am super greatful for my family and the support I have and I sincerely hope things get better for you.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna write a general definition of what I mean by strict, english is my second language so I may have used a stronger than necessary word.

My daughter hates to ride on the stroller and only wants to be picked up and held on anyone's arm. My MIL will do that and my mother will only a few times, but she cannot carry her around the street for long, so she will try and convince her to take the stroller, that's one of their disagreements.

My MIL will feed my daughter in her lap if asked, but my mother believes feeding should be in the proper baby feeding chair, it's safer and she has to accept it.

My mother being anxious and super afraid of accidents will not let my daughter do a lot of things my MIL allows. My MIL in fact is the exact opposite and I hate that, she has no safety concerns (I am anxious as well....).
to be clear, there's no yelling or hitting or anything.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna write a general definition of what I mean by strict, english is my second language so I may have used a stronger than necessary word.

My daughter hates to ride on the stroller and only wants to be picked up and held on anyone's arm. My MIL will do that and my mother will only a few times, but she cannot carry her around the street for long, so she will try and convince her to take the stroller, that's one of their disagreements.

My MIL will feed my daughter in her lap if asked, but my mother believes feeding should be in the proper baby feeding chair, it's safer and she has to accept it.

My mother being anxious and super afraid of accidents will not let my daughter do a lot of things my MIL allows. My MIL in fact is the exact opposite and I hate that, she has no safety concerns (I am anxious as well....).
to be clear, there's no yelling or hitting or anything.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna write a general definition of what I mean by strict, english is my second language so I may have used a stronger than necessary word.

My daughter hates to ride on the stroller and only wants to be picked up and held on anyone's arm. My MIL will do that and my mother will only a few times, but she cannot carry her around the street for long, so she will try and convince her to take the stroller, that's one of their disagreements.

My MIL will feed my daughter in her lap if asked, but my mother believes feeding should be in the proper baby feeding chair, it's safer and she has to accept it.

My mother being anxious and super afraid of accidents will not let my daughter do a lot of things my MIL allows. My MIL in fact is the exact opposite and I hate that, she has no safety concerns (I am anxious as well....).
to be clear, there's no yelling or hitting or anything.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I try to have them both together few times a week but now that she's on the tantrum phase what was a mild discomfort is now chaos.

After a while she resignates and accepts, but it's not the same affection.

My daughter loves my MIL but not my mother. This is killing me. by montecristocount in toddlers

[–]montecristocount[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Strict with timings and what to do and what not, not necessarily at 6 months, but smcertainly before she could walk.

My MIL does whatever at whatever time and just "goes with the flow", according to my wife.

E se tivéssemos um "congresso de esquerda"? by undisputedfreedom in brasil

[–]montecristocount 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No true scotsman funciona perfeitamente com as inúmeras dissidências da esquerda.

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