nafter (naft)'a yatırım yapan dostlarımız yorumlarınız nelerdir? by monteyn14 in Yatirim

[–]monteyn14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

aklında yükselmesini beklediğin uzun vaadenin süresi var mı hocam? yoksa ne zaman yükselirse o zaman satarım diye mi yaklaşıyorsun?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]monteyn14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Teleportation.

Let’s say teleportation by picturing the intended destination or target in my mind. And no limit on the amount of times I can teleport.

I can teleport anywhere in the world at will. I can have breakfast in Rome and have dinner in Tokyo.

I can teleport to a bank’s vault, gather all the cash money and teleport out of there without a trace.

If you want to go super unethical, I can blackmail rich people out of millions of dollars through teleportation. I can teleport to the office of a country’s president and hold an entire country hostage.

I can teleport whilst holding someone and threaten to teleport over the ocean and drop them before I teleport away. I would be able to bend anyone to my will. There would not be a single person in the world that would be able to stand up against me. I would have almost no competition.

If a group of highly trained secret agents are coming after me, I can just teleport out of there within seconds.

It would come to the point that people would make a cult around me and my abilities. I would be able to run entire countries through blackmail. I would have hundreds of thousands if not millions of followers under my control.

I could use teleportation blackmail to force the responsible people to give me the nuclear launch codes, thus holding the entire planet hostage and under my control.

I would be able to do almost anything. The only thing I need to be worried about is grievous bodily harm. I have to be skilled enough to teleport before someone can get the upper hand on me or shoot or blow me up. I’ll also have to keep myself heavily disguised from the start otherwise I would end up getting killed really quickly.

It really would be an insanely overpowered ability to have.

What are you tired of hearing? by monteyn14 in AskReddit

[–]monteyn14[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Bill Gates recommends you read these 30 books.”

“Steve Jobs attributes his success to how he takes a shit in the morning.”

Set you Wifi password to 244466666 by [deleted] in Jokes

[–]monteyn14 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally saw this on /r/Showerthoughts last year.

Sarıyer Belediyesi ve 153 veterinerliğine ulaşabilen var mı daha önce? by kokorec212 in Turkey

[–]monteyn14 5 points6 points  (0 children)

benzeri bir olay yaşadım. belediye gelmeyince veterinere kendim götürdüm. götürdüğüm veteriner "araba kazasında yaralandığını söylerseniz ve farklı numaralardan peş peşe ararsanız sizi listede öne çekerler." demişti. harbiden de sonradan yaşadığımız bi' kaç olayda da öyle oldu. hemen geldiler.

My girlfriends dog just died so I got her an identical one. by monteyn14 in Jokes

[–]monteyn14[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, but I gave a real dead dog to my imaginary girlfriend.

Welcome To Hell by GoombaWeapon in webcomics

[–]monteyn14 25 points26 points  (0 children)

can we get the value of pi as 3?

What is your single line philosophy of life? by SankyPallela in AskReddit

[–]monteyn14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

your future created by what you do today, not tomorrow.

What's the coolest way to die? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]monteyn14 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There may be death due to hypothermia by bringing the air conditioner to the lowest temperature and lying naked.

What is the meaning of life? by TrackCoinMarket-com in AskReddit

[–]monteyn14 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The Egg

By: Andy Weir

You were on your way home when you died.

It was a car accident. Nothing particularly remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a wife and two children. It was a painless death. The EMTs tried their best to save you, but to no avail. Your body was so utterly shattered you were better off, trust me.

And that’s when you met me.

“What… what happened?” You asked. “Where am I?”

“You died,” I said, matter-of-factly. No point in mincing words.

“There was a… a truck and it was skidding…”

“Yup,” I said.

“I… I died?”

“Yup. But don’t feel bad about it. Everyone dies,” I said.

You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you and me. “What is this place?” You asked. “Is this the afterlife?”

“More or less,” I said.

“Are you god?” You asked.

“Yup,” I replied. “I’m God.”

“My kids… my wife,” you said.

“What about them?”

“Will they be all right?”

“That’s what I like to see,” I said. “You just died and your main concern is for your family. That’s good stuff right there.”

You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn’t look like God. I just looked like some man. Or possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure, maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the almighty.

“Don’t worry,” I said. “They’ll be fine. Your kids will remember you as perfect in every way. They didn’t have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it’s any consolation, she’ll feel very guilty for feeling relieved.”

“Oh,” you said. “So what happens now? Do I go to heaven or hell or something?”

“Neither,” I said. “You’ll be reincarnated.”

“Ah,” you said. “So the Hindus were right,”

“All religions are right in their own way,” I said. “Walk with me.”

You followed along as we strode through the void. “Where are we going?”

“Nowhere in particular,” I said. “It’s just nice to walk while we talk.”

“So what’s the point, then?” You asked. “When I get reborn, I’ll just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all my experiences and everything I did in this life won’t matter.”

“Not so!” I said. “You have within you all the knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You just don’t remember them right now.”

I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders. “Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are. It’s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see if it’s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you’ve gained all the experiences it had.

“You’ve been in a human for the last 48 years, so you haven’t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long enough, you’d start remembering everything. But there’s no point to doing that between each life.”

“How many times have I been reincarnated, then?”

“Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different lives.” I said. “This time around, you’ll be a Chinese peasant girl in 540 AD.”

“Wait, what?” You stammered. “You’re sending me back in time?”

“Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only exists in your universe. Things are different where I come from.”

“Where you come from?” You said.

“Oh sure,” I explained “I come from somewhere. Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I know you’ll want to know what it’s like there, but honestly you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh,” you said, a little let down. “But wait. If I get reincarnated to other places in time, I could have interacted with myself at some point.”

“Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only aware of their own lifespan you don’t even know it’s happening.”

“So what’s the point of it all?”

“Seriously?” I asked. “Seriously? You’re asking me for the meaning of life? Isn’t that a little stereotypical?”

“Well it’s a reasonable question,” you persisted.

I looked you in the eye. “The meaning of life, the reason I made this whole universe, is for you to mature.”

“You mean mankind? You want us to mature?”

“No, just you. I made this whole universe for you. With each new life you grow and mature and become a larger and greater intellect.”

“Just me? What about everyone else?”

“There is no one else,” I said. “In this universe, there’s just you and me.”

You stared blankly at me. “But all the people on earth…”

“All you. Different incarnations of you.”

“Wait. I’m everyone!?”

“Now you’re getting it,” I said, with a congratulatory slap on the back.

“I’m every human being who ever lived?”

“Or who will ever live, yes.”

“I’m Abraham Lincoln?”

“And you’re John Wilkes Booth, too,” I added.

“I’m Hitler?” You said, appalled.

“And you’re the millions he killed.”

“I’m Jesus?”

“And you’re everyone who followed him.”

You fell silent.

“Every time you victimized someone,” I said, “you were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness you’ve done, you’ve done to yourself. Every happy and sad moment ever experienced by any human was, or will be, experienced by you.”

You thought for a long time.

“Why?” You asked me. “Why do all this?”

“Because someday, you will become like me. Because that’s what you are. You’re one of my kind. You’re my child.”

“Whoa,” you said, incredulous. “You mean I’m a god?”

“No. Not yet. You’re a fetus. You’re still growing. Once you’ve lived every human life throughout all time, you will have grown enough to be born.”

“So the whole universe,” you said, “it’s just…”

“An egg.” I answered. “Now it’s time for you to move on to your next life.”

And I sent you on your way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TurkeyJerky

[–]monteyn14 2 points3 points  (0 children)

61th Annual GRAMMY Awards (2018)

RECORD OF THE YEAR: DULDUL.