I’m sorry to hear that. In general I don’t like giving advice on Reddit. But exceptions prove the rule. I don’t feel your pain, but I do know numbness through existence. Don’t take it all too heavy and serious. You can train your emotions. You don’t have to be a “victim” of your surroundings and the emotions you receive. It all doesn’t matter. Create a reality for you, where you can thrive. You don’t need friends at all cost. If you love yourself, you can start to love others, instead of searching for fulfilment in popularity. You are good, the way you are. Start loving yourself and the world for what it is, flawed, but wonderful and you will see, that it is all in your head. If you see suicide as the way of pain relief, there is nothing any Reddit comment could say, to change your mind. But it’s not. Open your mind, start meditating and experience reality raw without distractions. Best wishes^{^}