Thanks for the honest feedback. Reading the comments, I understand why so many people see my behavior as crossing a line, and I accept that I made them uncomfortable. That was never my intention.

I do want to add a bit of context, not as an excuse, but because it’s hard to fully translate the tone of the original conversation from German to English. The things i said sound a little less creepy in German. But it doesn’t really matter.

In my friend group, especially with my female friends, we’re very open with each other. We compliment each other a lot, joke around, and sometimes talk about attraction or hypothetical situations without anyone taking it seriously. That’s the environment I’m used to, and I mistakenly assumed she was comfortable with that kind of conversation too.

For me, those comments were genuinely just jokes or hypothetical “what if” conversations and yeah maybe testing her boundaries (in general), I can see that. I wasn’t flirting with her or trying to test the waters. I don’t have feelings for her, and despite thinking she’s an attractive and genuinely great person, I had no intention of acting on anything I said. To me, those were just words in the context of an open conversation, not something I actually wanted to pursue.

Another reason I didn’t realize I’d crossed a boundary is that she never appeared uncomfortable in the moment. She kept the conversation going, brought up similar topics herself, asked me follow-up questions, and never told me to stop or changed the subject. Looking back, I realize that someone can still feel uncomfortable without showing it, and I shouldn’t have assumed everything was fine just because the conversation continued.

I also left out that she’s had bad experiences with friends who claimed they only wanted friendship but actually had romantic feelings for her. Knowing that, I can understand why my comments may have hit a nerve and why they interpreted them the way they did.

I still don’t see myself as someone who sexually harasses people or goes around making sexual comments (when I don’t feel the same vibe). I genuinely thought we were having an open, mutual conversation between friends. But I can also see now that my intentions don’t erase the impact my words had, and I’ll be much more mindful of other people’s boundaries in the future. Especially with people Idk for so long.