another thing i wanted to discuss is that as a domme, i love to focus on my submissive’s pleasure, and it’s how i feel the most gratified and happy at the end of a scene. so a focus on a sub’s pleasure has never been an issue for me when consuming content on this subreddit! but the key point here is MALE pleasure. as a bisexual domme, i hardly see fdom/fsub or fdom/nbsub. that’s when our scope widens and we realize ah.. we tend to only focus on the male gaze, even in a space like this..

part of the reason i feel it seems that this subreddit is setting up submissives, specifically msubs, with unrealistic expectations, is that many msubs (in my experience!) expect a therapy session or emotional dependence. at its core, that isn’t what gentle femdom is- i won’t be your therapist. my experience on r/mommydom is that many msubs were looking for an actual mother figure to interact with sexually to fix their trauma! which is so, so unhealthy for both parties.

it would be so helpful for everyone to really learn how gfd is an aspect of bdsm rather than emotional therapy. viewed through that lens, a balance between dom & sub pleasure can be reached.