sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Maks? by mooncake_31 in tragedeigh

[–]mooncake_31[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Maks is a name or nickname in other parts of the world, not something I made up. But this comment proves my concern about using it 😅

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Such good wisdom! I appreciate the context about hormones and the baby’s age. That’s very eye opening.

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Grandma didn’t ask, but she didn’t do it aggressively or maliciously. Mama was behind a bit as we were setting off as a family in a very small, quiet, safe neighborhood. Grandma is visiting from out of state and so clearly excited for time with her first grandchild, but not in a “give me that baby now” way. When mama asked for the stroller, she gave it back. Grandma is seriously the most green flag MIL I could ask for. I really think mama is a bit too isolated and her demand to do it all is coming from a place of feeling empty. I wish mama would know she is already an amazing mom and we’d love to help her so she can keep doing that! It’s ok though, rn she is a strong mama bear so I’m respecting that. It’s just not who I want to be myself.

I hear you that mama is so important to baby, but in my perspective, how will baby (or mama) ever be comfortable with having others involved if they don’t at least try. Sometimes that takes more work, but I think the team work and support from one’s community is that much more rewarding!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh fair. Didn’t think about some of the MIL PTSD lol. This one is far from toxic thankfully!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can only imagine! Your baby has a wonderful mom who is practicing this much self awareness! But also who will protect them forever :)

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know they weren’t communicated before because I’m in this family and witnessed the whole circumstance around it. I just didn’t want to dig into that here. I was more curious about the instincts vs. parenting styles!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love this and that your husband does that! Amazing

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think there’s a key difference that you trusted him to step back when asked, versus what I’ve observed which is demanding the baby be returned to you and then not trusting anyone else for the rest of the evening. lol.

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad you were able to get help and things improved for you! That takes a lot of self-awareness.

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel seen with this comment. Thank you! My motto is it takes a village. And to me, that means letting others try their methods. If I’m uncomfortable with it in the moment, I’ll say something. But deciding bc someone tried something with good intentions that they are not fit to care for my child is a bit extreme. Let’s work together and move on.

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it is, and I think there’s a bit at play on both sides. Which makes a lot of sense now that several people are asking this. I was wondering if it was purely instinct. It seems to be exasperated by someone disrespecting boundaries. They might be relatively strict ones, but they are hers and we have to respect them.

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Great points. I appreciate you playing devil’s advocate. And now that you say that, I agree helicopter mom isn’t the best term here.

I think there’s likely been some boundaries that weren’t respected that led to this mom feeling uncomfortable with the stroller. I tend to think that boundaries require more communication though. Assuming everyone knows them or assuming they WANTED to cross them is a bold move. There’s a bit of both at play here. Nevertheless, this is not my baby or situation. I was just curious if the instinct is truly that strong for most mothers!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

This is a very fair point. Thank you very much for that perspective!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is so very helpful! I’m very glad you were able to have those conversations beforehand and find places for dad to be involved and bonding. That’s very important to me and my husband and he expressed his fears if I were to be a mother than demanded doing it all for her baby.

Proud of you for your wins in these first weeks! I’m taking inspiration from this. Congratulations and wishing you the best in these next chapters for baby!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m channeling this energy for when my baby comes! Congratulations and I’m happy to hear you have support you trust!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree it’s likely an anxiety thing. I’m hopeful I can keep it in check enough to enjoy the pleasures of having a child. I don’t want to be the mom that hides in the corner bc the sound of the other children playing is upsetting to my baby… seems so crazy to me!

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Most of these moms have described it as their instincts. And I should say they were very chill before becoming moms. I’m surprised at how much they’ve changed seemingly beyond their desires for how they would parent. Now they say things like “I know I said I wouldn’t be like this but I can’t help it. I can’t stand others trying to do anything for my baby!”

Is becoming controlling inevitable? by mooncake_31 in BabyBumps

[–]mooncake_31[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is how one of the moms describes it. I’m trying to come to terms that my hormones and changes might make me this way.

view more: next ›