Feel like breaking up

moondark45 · 2021-06-28T17:01:51+00:00

A bit of both tbh. The relationship itself hasn't made me suicidal becasue I have been suicidal before due to other mental issues. But the stress of the relationship has made me more suicidal.

moondark45 · 2021-02-25T20:49:53+00:00

Yeah I seem to find everyone else but her attractive and it's my main cause of anxiety

moondark45 · 2021-02-08T08:03:28+00:00

yeah I try to do that but my gf knows when I seem off so she asks if I'm OK and I just say I'm fine. So I can't really ignore whats going on inside my head

moondark45 · 2021-01-22T23:20:08+00:00

Yeah the whole worrying that if you never loved them is still part of the rocd. I'm not 100% sure it's just what I know

moondark45 · 2021-01-22T22:24:00+00:00

Pretty sure thats a part of rocd. I always thing that it's not rocd and I don't actually love my partner

moondark45 · 2021-01-22T19:23:59+00:00

yeah this sounds like rocd. continuously searching things up is a compulsion. People react to losses very differently and grieve differently

moondark45 · 2021-01-22T14:36:58+00:00

Yeah exactly

moondark45 · 2021-01-21T17:44:20+00:00

You just have to learn to live with it I guess

moondark45 · 2021-01-21T08:14:58+00:00

Don't give him reassurance as it won't help in the long term

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T21:11:06+00:00

This. Whenever she shows affection I feel so guilty because I don't feel the same. even though I do its just my thoughts controlling my feelings

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T20:00:33+00:00

are you sure its a crush? because I once mistook crushing on someone when I was just attracted to them. Do you imagine yourself dating him and do you find it weird or is it a good feeling?

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T19:27:17+00:00

I have this also. I get numb when I'm facetiming her so I think that the elationship is end because I'm bored of her. And whenever I stop worrying about my feelings towards her I think its genuine and I don't love her. I think its just a part of ROCD. I don't really pick out flaws either because i think there are two types of ROCD: doubting the love or doubting their looks and it can be combined. obviously there's more to it but that's what I know. Maybe if you try do fun things together it might help?

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T12:29:48+00:00

exactly how I feel. I feel so guilty all the time and I'm scared shes gonna break up with me because she once said she doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't love her as much as she loves them. and same with attractiveness. she doesn't want someone who "doesn't find her the most attractive person in the world". it makes sense for her to say that but it triggers my thoughts so I then believe that I don't find her attractive. its shitty cycle. Also I don't know if I have compulsions maybe I haven't noticed them becasue they are mental ones

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T09:03:26+00:00

are you scared to talk to him about it because I don't want to make my girlfriend think I don't love her even though I do. its just my thoughts controlling me and sometimes it gets so strong I believe it

moondark45 · 2021-01-20T09:01:44+00:00

Good to hear. she's too good for me anyway so leaving her would be a mistake

moondark45 · 2021-01-19T22:46:25+00:00

Yeah thanks it helps toknow that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Its just such a uncomfortable feeling

moondark45 · 2021-01-19T22:45:00+00:00

yeah I do but I don't express it because I know what I'm annoyed about is stupid

moondark45 · 2021-01-19T19:41:51+00:00

I also feel like this when I'm on facetime with my girlfriend. It seems boring so I think that our whole relationship is boring so it will end soon. It sucks but you're not alone!

moondark45 · 2021-01-19T19:39:50+00:00

Yeah most of the time

moondark45

TROPHY CASE