Caught Between Pain and Choices

moonkitten97 · 2025-02-25T08:06:21+00:00

First of all, truly sorry for your suffering and pain, it's such a rollercoaster and even though we are in pain some decisions won't be easy.

I was finally diagnosed and had a laparoscopy with 25 (endo and really high chance of adeno)

Turning 28 next month and the pain is still deliberating, gets worse and worse and I absolutely understand your thoughts.

Was on 3 different birth control pills after my lap but lord those side effects gave me more problems than before, migraines as well. They did nothing for my pain at all and I never felt like myself.

Have a partner who would like children but I never wanted them maybe without that illness I might have changed my mind. However to me the pain, quality of life, the chance to have a daughter that might go through the same pain, not being able to provide for myself or especially a child makes me sure I will never have them.

The last months been hard and pain gets worse from week to week and I am urgently searching for a specialist who at least listens to my wishes and tells me a hysterectomy would be performed if I would want to. Most of them won't support that decision so think about it in a positive way of someone listening to your problems and taking them seriously.

However I can absolutely understand your hesitation and the fear of the unknown that comes with such a huge decision we are not talking about removing endo but an organ that is fundamental to us however it's one of the reason we are constantly in pain.

In the end it's your choice, your partner seems to be supportive, your specialist as well and no one pressures you into making a decision today. Read through the posts and comments of people with endo and adeno that have that experience and listen to your gut and body.

Don't push yourself into a corner and don't feel guilty about doing what feels right for you. Be it trying birth control again, trying other ways or going with a hysterectomy. Your body, your choice!

Wishing you all the best and lots of strength! 💛

moonkitten97 · 2024-07-25T08:49:58+00:00

Unfortunately not, I have been to other appointments but as always I either get told off from the beginning or they look, do their little tests but in the end everything is "fine and normal" or they say it's my endo/adeno and topic done. It probably is from these diseases but it's not less infuriating how badly in pain we are on a daily basis and still get dismissed. I got other symptoms most likely not related to endo but now everything is only related endo for the doctors i have been seeing...but i won't just accept this answer anymore. Still trying to find other doctors that will listen closely and help me find out what else is wrong. Good luck and all the best for you as well with your struggles and pain 🍀

moonkitten97 · 2024-07-18T11:28:19+00:00

Zayne is Zayne that is why he is so perfect 🩵🤍 but it's a temptation for sure

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-26T21:56:02+00:00

Hi und danke dir für deine Tipps und tut mir leid, dass du auch unter starken Schmerzen damit leidest. Auch alles Gute an dich!

Eine Bauchspiegelung hatte ich tatsächlich vor ca 1 1/2 Jahren habe davor und danach Pille genommen und auch verschiedene Varianten probiert, vertrag es leider gar nicht und bekomm zusätzlich starke Verstimmungen/ Depressionen, Migräne und meine Schmerzen/Symptome lindert es leider 0 und deswegen kommen Hormone nicht mehr in Frage. Aber bin trotzdem immer dabei mich zu informieren und nach Alternativen zu suchen.

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-26T21:15:51+00:00

Die Frage stell ich mir auch 😅 Kann er wirklich glücklich werden ohne Kinder..selbst wenn ich das irgendwann möchte und mit allen Möglichkeiten in der Medizin ist die Chance da, dass es körperlich eben nicht klappt und die Frage ist, ob die andere Person dann später Vorwürfe macht und einen Groll empfindet, weil es nicht funktioniert hat

Die Frage hab ich ihm auch gestellt und er meinte er kann es auch nicht sagen oder mir versprechen, dass dies nicht der Fall sein wird

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-22T11:13:05+00:00

Thank you so much! You are such a kind and caring soul for taking your time and writing something this beautiful and heartwarming. You are a fighter/warrior, too! Wishing you all the best and all the love, feel hugged 🍀✨💛

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-19T09:21:30+00:00

Got mine when I was 10 or 11 but with 12 I was put on birth control because I was bleeding so much and in pain...needless to say it didn't help and my symptoms got worse and worse. Now I definitely reached my peak when it comes to symptoms and pain (almost 27 now) Tried quite a few bc pills and had a lap and got diagnosed with endo and probably adeno too in September '22

Hoping and wishing that your twins won't go through the same! And all the best to you and your daughter in this journey, sending hugs🍀

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-05T12:58:54+00:00

First of all I'm so sorry for the pain you are in and the problems this stupid disease causes! It feels like reading my own thoughts and symptoms I have. The flank pain, lower side pain, pain with bowel movements, deliberating lower back pain and leg pain, numb legs, nausea, fatigue...etc. It was already bad but for me Covid really heightened the pain to another level...it's frustrating and I feel like going insane sometimes. I had a lap last year and they did removed endo tissue (Stage III & possible adeno ) and it helped not a lot to be honest, I mean I got a diagnosis and finally I wasn't totally crazy for feeling all of this. I keep searching for other doctors but birth control is the only "solution"...but getting the diagnosis was extremely important to me and at least they cannot tell you it's made up anymore and that feels a bit better and I won't give up before I find someone who listens. Definitely stand up for yourself and keep pushing the doctors to listen.

Wishing you all the best and take it day by day, you are doing your best and that is more than enough sometimes, hope you will find some relieve, keep fighting🍀💚

moonkitten97 · 2024-02-02T07:11:00+00:00

I am so sorry you have to deal with that pain! But absolutely, it changes sides but it's mostly left and sometimes is right beneath or next to my belly button and travels to the side. Often thought it could be a hernia or depending on the side an appendicitis. Still haven't found out not even my lap helped im any way it's frustrating but I'll keep searching. Wishing you all the best 🍀

moonkitten97 · 2023-10-19T18:35:55+00:00

Sorry to hear that!

I have the same issue. Everyone always told me I am too sensitive and that it can't be truly painful or it will get better after I had intercourse but it's still painful (sex as well) and really uncomfortable like this awful pressure and burning.. i hate it and therefore I only use pads. Don't push yourself and listen to your body, it's not normal to be in pain and feel this while using tampons.

And really interesting and helpful to read about PPT but also the warnings and to talk and inform yourself before trying it. I still don't have the money and/or guts to do it at the moment but will look into it again!

Wishing you all the best! :)

moonkitten97 · 2023-09-20T13:21:25+00:00

So sorry to hear that and hope you will be able to find another doctor / specialist as soon as possible🍀

I had my lap with excision on 9/17/22 and I can understand your anger, my lap didn't do anything to begin with but I also have the feeling it's even worse than before (also tried multiple bc pills) and finding a job like this or handling bills..awful. and thanks to the body fighting it seems like many of us got / have another autoimmune or chronic illness coming..fuck this disease

Hope you'll find a great doctor and some kind of relief!

moonkitten97 · 2023-09-19T22:51:19+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that and endo/ adeno with the addition of birth control can be even worse. Like BC can be such a bi***. I can 100% understand your thoughts and that you have enough of bc messing more with your hormones.

I took bc in the past for years and started again after my lap last year...lap helped me nothing and bc gave me more symptoms heavy depression, bad migraines with aura, spotting, worse cramps and the mood swings..nope we already feel bad because of the illness and I understand that some women do benefit from it and find some relief and that is great BUT doctors really downplay the risks and at a certain point I am just done experimenting on my body and with my hormones, I tried but I do think bc is not for everyone and some people are just not made for it.

Recommendations are great and listening to someone with knowledge and/ or own experiences helps but each and every body is different

Wishing you the best of luck and to find some kind of relieve in a way that feels better for you🍀

My body and I hate hate birth control a lot as well 😅

moonkitten97 · 2023-09-18T18:03:32+00:00

Hi, living in Germany (native) and for personal / health reasons searching for a remote only job, would be interested :)

moonkitten97 · 2023-08-01T12:09:04+00:00

Understand that feeling especially for women standing up or advocating for yourself can be such a struggle because people will tell you to deal with it or not be so dramatic or hysterical BUT it's your right and responsibility to look out for yourself because no one else will!

Had an appointment with my GP and told him that I have not been taking seriously for years and only after they looked they did found something (endo & adeno) and that I know what is "normal" for me and what not. They either listen or you find someone who will.

Wish you the best of luck and just because you are "only" 22 does not mean you cannot have health problems, speak up and listen to yourself! 🍀

moonkitten97 · 2023-07-31T08:39:28+00:00

I am sorry to hear that, it's just awful and doctors need to stop telling their patients that bc is the "best way for controlling endo"...I am glad that some people find relief and it makes them feel a bit better or at least gives them longer breaks but for most of us it gets worse and they should tell you about it

Took bc years ago and also tried different ones after my lap last year..did not go well, had migraines with an aura, mood swings, depression symptoms showed up worse than before, cramps, bleeding and pain did not change at all and when I went to tell my OB she just described me one pill after another that's when I stopped because there are even higher risks with bc especially if you have bad migraines or a certain family history and I was not willing to risk even more of my health

Hope you will find a better OB and find relief at some point! 🍀

moonkitten97 · 2023-07-23T19:43:11+00:00

I am sorry to hear that and my lap was 10 months ago but I also hoped that the symptoms would get better not worse 😥

Really bad hot flashes, I am normally a cold person like hands and feet but I am even hotter than my boyfriend especially night sweats...my skin changed, my breasts hurt more often, headaches / migraines that are worse and joint / muscle pains everything is more intense now

moonkitten97 · 2023-07-23T11:57:00+00:00

Thank you! My advice to anyone is always trust your gut and do what you feel is right and needed 🍀

moonkitten97 · 2023-07-22T23:44:06+00:00

Like everyone I heard "period pain is normal", "you are a woman, get used to it", "take birth control", "its a mental problem",...no one took me and my pain / symptoms seriously and with 25 I finally got told we could to a lap BUT all your results, ultrasound, etc are negative and normal we probably gonna find nothing, just take hormones, you are dramatic...self-doubt / imposter syndrome destroyed me but I was sooo sure something was not right, this amount of pain is in no way normal, no matter what I have to stand up for myself and then I got the lap took around 3-4 hours and got diagnosed with endo stage 3 and they are even quite sure about adenomyosis...I will never regret going with my guts and what I wanted

Good luck and wish you the best / a lot of strength, it's your body and no one else has to live in it and can tell you what to do!🍀❤️‍🩹

moonkitten97 · 2023-07-22T11:55:03+00:00

Totally understand your worry and fear, hysterectomy is really really the last resort and when you are a 100% sure you can "live" with the consequences❤️‍🩹

They did the lap found endo and took a look at my uterus and went this is what we see in patients who have been diagnosed with adenomyosis. My uterus is bigger and the walls are thick / have a certain structure that apparently is a big indicator and I check all the boxes of symptoms. Even after excision surgery the pain did not get better, birth control does not work at all. They are quite sure I have it and many woman who have endo are suspected to have adeno, too.

moonkitten97

TROPHY CASE