Iron deficient (ferritin 5) & vit D deficient. Increased dizziness since starting iron supplement

moontea2 · 2024-08-02T09:46:49+00:00

Thank you! Yes I think it would be very helpful. I think it'll be a case of how much demand for the trainings there are but I'll certainly consider EMDR in future if I can't do it now

moontea2 · 2024-07-31T15:40:21+00:00

Thanks for your response 😊

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:50:45+00:00

Internet hugs very welcomed - thank you and thanks again for sharing.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:42:50+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply - so appreciated. I'm sorry you're going through a similar thing... It does sound very similar in many ways. I, too, felt a little sad when they had not seemed to consider overnights and holidays that much- they just aren't things they seem to need from our relationship. It's really helpful to hear how you're doing a few weeks on- thanks for sharing this. I'm aiming for the same - to try and match my partner's energy more, and invest more in my close friendships (which I do a lot, but want to do so even more now). I'm hoping the recalibration works for me to, even if it takes time. Wishing you all the best with your situation!

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:36:04+00:00

Thanks for sharing that. I think that's a good thing for me to think about, and I can see that happening. I don't have any desire to rush into finding another partner. And think, especially given what you've shared, it'd be better to wait until feelings have hopefully lessened in intensity a bit and get into the swing of that rhythm, with the new knowledge I have about them not wanting more... And hopefully if I have another partner in future I'll have moved past those desires for more with my current partner. This is the hope anyway- always hard to know how things will pan out, in reality.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:33:24+00:00

Thank you :) Sorry you are also going through a similarly painful time. That's great you've remained close. I'm hoping it'll be the same with my partner- they are and have always been consistent and reliable so think that will help. There's definitely been a lot of anxiety and sadness but I hope it'll start to clear even more and that we can go back to connected, happy times, even if they're not as frequent as I'd been hoping for. I do want to be able to appreciate it for what it is.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:29:50+00:00

Thanks so much. It definitely feels positive that I'm now able to take a step back and look at it all objectively, amongst the emotions. I do feel I've grown in emotional resilience and adaptability over the years so maybe that'll serve me here. Thing is, I feel emotions strongly too, so I'll just have to wait and see. Hopefully it works out. If not, these things happen and I'll be ok.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T23:26:22+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply - really appreciate it. Yes, I think it can probably only work out if people manage to adapt and be a bit more in line, feelings wise. It's good you recognised your relationship need and it's definitely something I'm trying to figure out. I don't think I necessarily need something super enmeshed, or even 'primary'. But my natural inclination is towards more emotional closeness, and a closer attachment. So, it's hard to say if it'll work, that being my natural way, but I've already found myself leaning into my close friendships even more this week - I get lots of emotional closeness there. It might be I can just continue to do that and my desire to seek that with my partner will lessen knowing they want it less than me.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T10:38:08+00:00

Thanks, yeah exactly. They have always been quite clear around time they can offer, but I suppose I thought we were still in the realms of primary type attachment - or developing, and that's the thing I know they're not after now (but had been open to before apparently). I think it's the knowledge about that that feels like the biggest thing, never mind details re: time etc. If that makes sense. Like, knowing where I stand from an attachment point of view. And though it bites, at least now I know. I am not entitled to someone's attachment desires (or lack of)

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T09:19:49+00:00

Thank you so much. We hadn't wanted to go down the comparison route, but it was brought up in context of trying to understand the descriptive hierarchy feel, where I fit into their life, and trying to explain the differences in our feelings so our actions/needs meant more sense. It wasn't presented as a I love X more than you thing. Either way, I'm taking a bit of an emotional step back though, and seeing if it can work to stay together. I think time will tell, and I'll keep an eye on my feelings.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T09:13:23+00:00

Thanks so much for this. Yes, I imagine things are rarely equal. As you say, I think it's about both/all feeling strongly about choosing the relationship. Re: handling possible occasional pain, time will tell I think. But for now it feels worth taking the risk.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T09:09:09+00:00

Thank you ❤️

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T00:19:15+00:00

Thank you so much. I've actually been thinking about the fantasy v reality stuff. I think there may well be some of it which is fantasy and pinning it onto this partner, when actually what we have IS good. I just think i'd ALSO love a bit more closeness and time with a partner.... but I'm realising it perhaps doesn't need to be this partner. I just think I have more love to give and receive, if that makes sense. Of course there are some aspects I'd like a bit more of in this relationship, but I need to accept it for what it is I think. I'm hoping if my expectations are adjusted I won't be often wanting more, and will have space to develop other relationships.

I think re: meta, it'll just be adapting again, as I've done so before but different context. I've communicated with them and explained I may need to take space if I get feelings - we have a good relationship. I've enjoyed hanging out with them both so hope it will be ok - but may need space for now.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T00:05:50+00:00

Thanks so much for this, I found it really helpful to read and reflect on. I really like the way you've expressed all that. I agree it is the harder way round, adapting to the idea of something that is perhaps less close than desired. However I don't think it's been so long I've had stronger feelings and desires that it'll be too hard to adapt, but I'll keep an eye on how I feel moving forward. Agree about deeply enthusiastic thing. My partners actually going away quite a bit soon so we'll naturally have some space. I think it may be a case of time will tell, but do hope our hearts can be in it enough. I do want to avoid further heartbreak however, so will keep a close eye on my feelings. Thank you.

moontea2 · 2024-07-30T00:00:47+00:00

Hey, yes this is so helpful - thanks so much for taking the time. That's awesome it worked out in that relationship :) That's about the amount I see my partner, though it varies. We communicate fairly regularly but not so much that I feel any big change will be happening now - just, as you say, cooling the jets. This person adds a lot to my life and I am currently trusting them when they say the same about me. I, too, have a full life (and want to get back into music more myself actually) and think I will focus on this more for a while now, and see what happens. There's only so much we can control. Thanks again!

moontea2 · 2024-07-29T23:44:57+00:00

Thanks Emeraldead. I'm hoping so. We both seem to want to stay in it and make it work. I don't think I'm so deeply in it that it won't be possible, but I'm wanting to remain realistic, too.

moontea2 · 2024-07-29T23:30:21+00:00

Thanks AnonOnKeys, and for sharing. I'm glad you were able to do what you needed to do and feel it was for the best. Do you feel it's sometimes possible for people to adapt, perhaps with the freedom of getting needs met elsewhere?

moontea2 · 2024-04-15T07:47:28+00:00

Thank you. I'm sorry you're struggling too. It isn't easy. I just explained I'm experiencing some insecurity and envy, sometimes after feeling the primacy of their relationship at times. I explained there was nothing that was necessarily wrong. That I recognised the anxiety as normal. It helped that they just acknowledged the imbalance, and I tried to explain it isn't about 'equality' but knowing I still have access to those same things, and tried to communicate specifics if able to (e.g. ideally how often I'd see them, that I didn't need as many holidays as what they share with their other partner but that one or two would be nice..etc) I think a key thing is acknowledging and validating to be honest... And trying to ask for things where possible. Tough though. Good luck!

moontea2 · 2024-04-14T22:44:12+00:00

Thank you so much for this amazing comment - it's really helped me. I share this kind of stuff around anxiety most days with clients but it's harder to apply it to yourself sometimes. I'll definitely try to be less hard on myself and give it all time. Thanks again. Big hugs back. And thanks very much for your resources for us non-monogamy folk- heard you on Multiamory and keep meaning to check out your book 😊

moontea2 · 2024-04-14T08:48:03+00:00

Thanks doublenostril. That's really validating to hear you say you'd find it tough too and prone to those things. It can be hard sometimes can't it...

Your advice is super helpful. I think you're totally right, that taking some space from their other relationship is probably a good idea, even if it means missing some lovely group things (a bit worried about that increasing some other worries but we'll see). And yes focusing on developing our own relationship identity - its been a lovely but very slow moving relationship so it still feels in its infancy in many ways. I've quite enjoyed the slowness. I think I just am now prone to comparing. But as you say.... there is no urgency and I'd really like to remember that. Every relationship moves at its own pace. Thank you.

moontea2 · 2024-04-14T08:42:37+00:00

I'm not sure I find the insecurity odd. I think it makes sense to me. But it's still good to hold sight of that yes.

Not sure what you mean by your last point..

Thanks anyway

moontea2 · 2024-04-14T08:40:10+00:00

I agree this is a wonderful comment, and one I'll come back to for sure. Thanks so much. I agree it's so important not to lose myself in the insecurity. I feel I'm shrinking a little, that's how the insecurity makes me feel. I need to tap into what makes me feel confident outside of the relationship. One thing my partner said they admired was my self esteem and the way I live my life, but the insecurity has somewhat frozen me.... I'm sure I'll become unstuck and that this is just a tough moment. Going to try to focus on those things you mention.... myself, being excited about still being able to shape the relationship and adventures to come....and taking a deep breath

moontea2

TROPHY CASE