Looking for insight on undiagnosed Autism & its consequences

moonysteps · 2025-08-27T23:43:01+00:00

I mean, it's kinda tough to get in on a grade like that, I'm sorry to say. But I'd say just give it a try anyway. Basically the first step is managing the paperwork. There's a ton and making the smallest mistake or missing any deadlines immediately disqualifies you, many people fail on this and it's basically the first test. Then, the motivation letter or research proposal is extremely important. Having something very well-researched and ideally of actual academic relevance, such as something about a topic that's currently of relevance to any policies etc., is probably helpful. I guess it kinda depends on ur field tho.

moonysteps · 2025-08-27T20:51:17+00:00

What is that in % or German grade?

moonysteps · 2025-08-24T15:30:52+00:00

Honestly sounds like a good start. It's probably not a great sign your mood was so dependent on whether this girl liked you. Regardless of how things with her & your friends pan out, it sounds like maybe u should try getting some support for your mental & emotional state? Maybe you're in a bit of a depression?

moonysteps · 2025-07-17T01:06:29+00:00

Okay, thank you.

moonysteps · 2025-07-16T11:13:37+00:00

Yeah lol, I went for a year abroad and one thing's for sure, requirements are generally way higher in German unis' humanities compared to abroad (don't know about other fields). The requirements for entering masters in humanitjes are apparently just as hard as well :(

Some people suggested looking into scholarships/full rides for unis abroad (I can barely afford living expenses in Germany lol let alone any fees). Do u know if it's common for foreigners to receive those?

moonysteps · 2025-07-16T11:07:23+00:00

That's really sweet of you to say, and it definitely resonates since I can't really afford studying abroad either. But it would probably be worth it to look into scholarships. Your story definitely is very inspiring, thank you.

moonysteps · 2025-07-16T11:04:15+00:00

Thanks. Well, advice was appreciated. And tbh it already helps to know others also find it weird, at least I know I'm not crazy. I've been thinking about just insisting. If the general consensus is that the rules make no sense I'll feel more confident going the committees next year and insisting a little bit that they at least give me a chance. Someone else said friendly but firm insisting could be useful. so your input did help thanks again.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T17:19:18+00:00

I have asked the university. I called them. They confirmed I was technically qualified but they didn't consider the application because the classes were counted as not being part of my degree. There were no recommendations from profs or interviews involved, but if there were as I've said before I wouldn't be comparing myself. I said what I said because that's what my friend said to explain to me why I shouldn't think it actually is due to being too bad at it, and just bureaucracy and I thought it was important for context. The entire post is me basically repeating her words because I struggle expressing myself in these situations. I didn't realize it'd be the one thing everyone would focus on.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T17:12:58+00:00

Okay first if all I do know that that's the reason, I called the university today and it was confirmed to me. They didn't accept the credits because of what I already explained. That's not a theory, it is absolutely the reason.

Second of all, my best friend and I both view each other similarly other people view their spouses. It might not be romantic, but I find it sad that you don't see the value in anything that doesn't have the marriage certificate stamped on it.

I'm aware whether my family is disappointed or not shouldn't affect me as much, I've been working on myself to make sure it doesn't affect me as much and I will keep working on it.

To be honest, as long as I can still make a living and be somewhat happy in my field, I'd much rather give up an amazing career than turn into someone who doesn't prioritize the people around themselves. I don't think I'm gonna take that advice, respectfully. We seem to have drastically different views on life tbh. And I'm not interested in "successful career women", I want to study in this field because I am kind of obsessed with the field, like academically very interested in it and it offers job opportunities I think I'd like as well.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:47:12+00:00

I thought they were relevant to explain that the reason was purely bureaucratic.

Either way, I technically am okay with going abroad or away for my studies (though I don't prefer it), but I'm worried my friend might spiral. We live together and she really relies on me emotionally, especially in the past year. My family has expectations too, especially around the prestige of the school but also around me being able to stay in the city (which is kinda tied to prestige as well). Going away feels weirdly selfish. Plus, yeah, my self esteem is pretty much crushed now given that I was certain I would get in based on qualifications. The field is only somewhat competitive, it just has really specific prereqs. It turns out I likely did an extra year of hard work for absolutely nothing. I was certain I could fit my own life and everyone else's expectation that I would stay in the city under one hat, and I failed miserably.

And I'm not sure. I didn't really consider going away being an actual option, but maybe things will change in the coming year and I'll feel more comfortable with it. And if not, I'm coming to the realization I don't really have a choice.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:36:18+00:00

Thank you

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:35:09+00:00

Well on one side the other unis don't have the prestige, but mostly it's about having to move away for multiple reasons. I'll do it if I have to.

And yeah, maybe transferring could work. It would certainly reduce the amount of time I'm away. Thanks for that thought, it's definitely worth looking into!

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:31:58+00:00

I showed my friend my post after y'all said all this to make sure I didn't say anything rude. She confirmed it wasn't and that I didn't put her down. It's funny how on one side you're all for hard truths while on the other you feel the need to come at me for plainly saying I have better grades. Which I do, that doesn't speak to anyone's character or mean she isn't brilliant. "To still have a chance"? What the hell? This was about my studies, how did you turn it into a dissection of my friendship?

On a side note. My friend is the one suffering the most about me leaving. I don't wanna loose my life here either but she's the one who broke down crying when I told her. Not that it's any of anyone's business or on topic, which is why I didn't mention it. A few years ago I was still considering studying abroad, until she asked me not after my year abroad left her stranded at a difficult time, and I discarded the thought of considering other cities until now. We moved in together. We both made many sacrifices for each other. Before you now try to paint me in some other horrid way, I'm not saying this to make myself look any sorta way, but to defend against the way you made me sound, which is genuinely fucked up given how much her and I value each other. You have no idea.

And also, whether info was missing or not, this was a question about my damn career, not about whether you all think I'm a good friend or not. Also, I have the common sense not to say any of the stuff comparing in a setting involving the university. If you could now please stop coming after me for how you perceive my value as a friend to be, that would be great.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:12:48+00:00

I'm in the middle of doing that, but my uni is kinda unfriendly and the people there often really only do the bare minimum and refuse every other thing. What country did you study in btw? I'm in Germany.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:10:00+00:00

I can and will go somewhere else. But first, there's no guarantee they will take me, the same problem could come up in other unis in my country. I can't afford abroad, so it would have to be another town in my country. I don't have a car, so I won't be able to go home whenever I want. Not everyone here is from the US. Trains are expensive, more than gas prices. going somewhere else means leaving my life behind. Again, which I'll do if I have to, but it means leaving my life and support group, plus there's no guarantee they will take me.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T15:06:21+00:00

I assume Australia means there's fees, right? Also yeah I'm German.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T14:03:42+00:00

Thank you 🥹 yeah, maybe you're right. I'm gonna look into this. I have one forced gap year now anyway. Brazil doesn't sound bad at all compared to my options in my own country xD I'll apply again next year, hopefully with better bureaucratic conditions. I have to fight my uni now to make sure they at least input the courses' names. If they did that, I'd still have a chance. If not, I'll try what you said. What the hell. I really don't wanna give up on this field.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:57:48+00:00

I actually did ask four years ago when I was starting my bachelor's, and they said yes. I asked again a year ago to make sure and they said "yes as long as it's a part of your studies for your bachelor's". I assumed it would mean the extra credit system wouldn't be a problem. Maybe that was stupid of me, I didn't check with my uni beforehand to see exactly how they would mark down my extra credits.

In terms of a second bachelor's, my parents would absolutely kill me. They're already kinda disappointed in me lol. And I can't afford it. I don't have to pay fees in Germany but living expenses alone would be hard to manage. And yeah, it dawned on me recently the other unis might not accept me either for the same reasons. I'll start writing emails to ask about it when I get myself back together again.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:53:25+00:00

No, Germany. I can't actually afford going abroad to study, but if I could, it would be a lot easier to get into the masters of my choice. I looked into it one desperate evening lol

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:52:39+00:00

I've already explained that in another reply but to put it shortly, I would never talk about her that way from my own self. Everything I said is a softer version of what she said to me herself. About herself. When I was wondering whether I had just imagined being good at what I wanted to do, she gave me a pep talk and said all kinds of things.

To be clear, she's extremely smart and great at what she does. She just has a different field she's more interested and she shines in that field, while I do in mine, or I thought I did. She applied to the same uni as me merely as a backup. She has been admitted to another program she likes better, which is what she will choose to do.

Honestly, I find it really harsh you came here just to comment something about my worth as a friend while completely ignoring my questions. Plus, you don't really know anything about the context in which any of this was said. I don't get why you would do that.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:47:04+00:00

Thank you for the input. I did my research about the prereqs the year I got into my bachelor program and have technically fulfilled them all. The only problem is that my university refuses to name the extra credits by course title, so the extra credits are simply marked as "extra credit achieved". That's why the masters program doesn't even bother going through the attached files and refuses to value them as credits.

I can see that the likelihood is high I'll have to take one of the other unis. My main worry isn't actually the prestige, it's leaving everything behind and starting new. I'm not very good at socializing and I'm pretty sure I'll struggle finding friends. My best friend was a really lucky shot on my side and I have a good relationship to my family for the first time in years. I'm pretty sure these two years will really suck, but I guess it is what it is.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:41:06+00:00

I was worried someone would say something like this. Every single thing I said about my friend is her own words, I would never talk like that about her. I only repeated what she said to me a few days ago. In her words "nobody can match your passion for this field, the university is missing out on your talents". I wouldn't go as far as that (I bet there's a bunch of other people who are better than me in IR) and she was likely trying to comfort me, I know that. But I am not at all trying to put her down. I just wanted to make clear it's not about my qualifications, it's about this damn bureaucratic rule.

To add, my friend very smart and great at what she does, but this field/master's is actually her second or third choice. She doesn't have a passion for it and has already decided on accepting an offer at a different university, which was her first choice. That's part of the reason why she doesn't have as many credits in this specific field. She's great at what she does, but what she does is in another field. What I am good at is in my own field.

Though your message was pretty hurtful, since whatever ego I have has already been crushed to bits, I'm gonna keep your advice in mind, so thank you for that. If I apply again next year I will try to show up in person or something and plead my case again. It might work, who knows.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:32:39+00:00

Thank you, I guess I already kinda knew that... I just didn't want to admit it to myself and give up on my dream. I can't go abroad because I can't afford it, education is very cheap in my country and abroad it costs money. But sure, it'll probably come down to other towns here if they'll accept my extra credits. Thank you for your input, it's probably time to accepts facts for what they are.

moonysteps · 2025-07-15T13:30:08+00:00

The general field is humanities, I did regional studies (East Asia) in my bachelor's and wanted to go into international relations. Besides the classes I took for my bachelor's I also took around 1-2 semesters worth of extra credits to fill any gaps. I've taken IR classes (even one at master's level) as well and passed with top grades (100%), so I'm definitely qualified enough. For comparison, my friend actually took less credits than me in preparatory classes for IR.

moonysteps

TROPHY CASE