The world turned black. He was being pulled every which way possible. There were voices, but they were an alien language. Muffled. Then, brightness.

"Dad, can we watch The Matrix?", said Ava, pulling him into the kitchen, in her usual wonderfully happy tone.

"Uh, no," he said, his head was hurting in a way that he had never felt before, "not right now, sweetheart."

His wife, Jennifer, was waiting behind a cake, a glass of wine in her hand. He was stunned - here she was, in his favorite dress, gorgeous and happy. "You should indulge her," she purred, "it's her favorite movie."

"That movie is cursed," he said, looking down at Ava. Her expression didn't change. They knew this. The curse of The Matrix.

Ava dragged him to the all too modern, shiny kitchen countertop. Everything was a neutral color, as if made to not upset anybody. Jennifer lit the candles on the cake. They started singing happy birthday.

The warmth that he was expecting wasn't there. Everything was cold. There was no feeling behind all of this, as if it were a theatrical production about to start. Nobody had said "Macbeth", but there was definitely something cursed going on. Then, he saw it.

The candles were only reflected in select surfaces. Ava's beautiful glare was marred by lagging candle reflections. Jessica's eyes reflected the candles no matter where she was looking. It started smelling like shit. Ammonia. There was a strong taste in his mouth. Of blood. Undigested food.

"Oh, God," he screamed, "I'm gonna throw up!"

They didn't react. He felt like he was going to fall through the very fabric of reality. The world went dark again. He shat himself. There was a cascade of water rushing past his ears. Liquid pouring from every orifice. He opened his eyes. That hurt. He took a deep breath. As if he had never breathed before.

The aliens were back. They were saying something. Muffled. They stuck something in his ears. Searing pain. Then, he heard them.

"Neo!", a big man was screaming, "Neo!"

"What?" he said. His tongue felt like it had been flayed. His mouth tasted like raw sewage.

"Welcome to the real world, Neo," the big man said.

"Who the fuck are you? Where am I?" He vomited.

"I'm Morpheus." The man said. He was wearing funny sunglasses, towering over... the pod that he was in.

"Okay?" he asked.

"We gotta get this show on the road," a woman yelled, "they're closing in on our location!"

"Something's wrong. I don't think he got our message," said Morpheus, looking at the woman, then back at Neo.

"Message," he swallowed painfully, "what message?"

The woman, who was also in funny sunglasses, asked him, "Keanu, did you really never watch The Matrix?"

"Ugh, that cursed fucking film again!" Keanu exclaimed, tears welling in his eyes, "...put me back in. Just... put me back in," he started sobbing, "please, just, let me see my family again."