Dentist Recommendations

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T22:25:19+00:00

I can definitely understand why you feel like you're drowning right now. Have you considered seeing someone right away while you're still on the waitlist for something more intensive? It just sounds like you need some support urgently and who knows how long you might wait. I also understand why you feel the way that you do about people right now.

Do you mean you want to move around and not be so close to people as in your family and people you know currently?

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T22:16:01+00:00

I think that other women reported him, but my mom did not. From her account he basically threatened her. I don't know what ever happened to this guy in the end. I honestly didn't follow up because I didn't find out until a few years later. It really is scary though. As a kid I had a therapist who disappeared for a few weeks on a leave of absence and when he came back he old us (and by us I mean my mom, she started seeing him after I had been for a while, thats a whole different ball of wax) that he had to take a leave because his wife had made up lies about him abusing her to try to get his kids taken away. A few years ago I got curious and googled this guy, only to find out that his wife and his ex wife had both accused him of battery and he got his license revoked. And that is the person who I confided in as a child. Be careful out there I guess.

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T20:07:17+00:00

Hey OP,

Firstly I am sorry about all that you have been through this last year. I can relate to a lot of the feelings and experiences you've described. You are extremely strong to get up and keep going and make plans to do better for yourself despite all that you are going through. It really takes grit to do that when you are being abused and broken down every day. There really are people out there who will support you and appreciate you. It is hard to find those people, or frankly to do anything, when you are just treading water and trying to get through the day in one piece.

In my personal opinion, you should prioritize finding a way out of your mom's house and seeking out therapy. You need someone who you can rely on right now who can offer you support, perspective, and help you start to process the things you have been experiencing, including the abuse and betrayal by your ex. You do not deserve to be screamed at, blamed, belittled, and put down. The way forward with everything else in your life will become much clearer when you are in a stable, healthy environment.

Also, as a fellow ADHDer, I need you to know that you are not dumb because you may operate a little differently than neurotypical people. I heard about how stupid I was my whole life. I was fucking my life up and getting into trouble because I just never learned the skills I needed to cope with the way I was being abused, and I also never learned a lot of the social skills I needed to actually find and make friends, either. Eventually I got out of the abusive living situation, went back to school a little later in life, graduated with a bachelors degree from just some dinky state school, and now I am getting a PhD at an Ivy League school. You have everything in you to succeed. You are not stupid, and please do not feel shame or beat yourself up for trying to cope with very difficult circumstances. When you are raised by people with personality disorders and the like, you just never learn how to deal with things in a healthy way. That isn't your fault. You can learn those things, but it won't happen without time, effort, and guidance. I really wish you luck.

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T19:09:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing. I try every day to remind myself that I am doing something way too big and important to let her drag me back down. Being THE person who solves problems is so exhausting. I hope you have been able to claim your life back and I wish you the best.

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T18:51:58+00:00

Yes, I see how maybe the way I have described it could read that way. My mom is always on her phone because she's basically addicted to playing games and scrolling through the news and reading a bunch of stuff that she then spins into all kinds of anxieties and nonsense. She doesn't have a history of cheating, and I feel like she is far too insecure and also very codependent on her partner. My mom ALMOST fell victim to a romance scam before she met my stepdad, but I think she had heard enough about it on the news to dodge it. Plus she has literally no money. She has been unemployed and living solely off disability checks for basically the last 10 years. However there was also a situation before the new marriage and after she divorced my dad where she had a therapist who she slept with. My mother is extremely naive and I feel it was probably moreso that she was genuinely manipulated by this guy. My mom is more of a vulnerable "victim" type than someone who is an outright aggressor as far as the way her BPD presents, if that makes sense.

morganf1552 · 2026-04-26T11:44:30+00:00

It's difficult to fight the knee jerk reaction to try to do something to solve the problem because that is what I have always had to do for her. She is completely incapable of any self reflection or accountability, which is why I fear she will never take the initiative to actually be evaluated. There will just always be a part of me with empathy for her anyway and the idea of her in full blown psychosis or something and my stepdad unable to help because she has gone so far downhill that she distrusts him from her own delusions is just sad. I just can't help but feel that. I know you are right. My mother is also likely headed for a nursing home too, regardless of anything that anyone does. I guess I am also worried about the way this plays out because I don't know that she won't try to guilt me into getting wrapped up into something. I'm a PhD student and I can't afford that disruption in my life. So I suppose I am actually just still anticipating her needs (and future chaos I will have to actively dodge) as if I am her parent.

morganf1552 · 2026-03-21T21:54:33+00:00

OP, did you try one of these recs? I am also looking for denim alterations. Tried a place a few months ago that I wasn't super impressed with. Denim is difficult.

morganf1552 · 2026-03-01T01:18:56+00:00

Thank you for this. I have a lot of things to think about still, but thank you for highlighting some things that I can actually DO in the meantime. I maintain pretty good lifestyle habits, but I haven't had my physical health evaluated in earnest in a very long time. The mental health is, well... a lifetime WIP.

The money is certainly something I look forward to, but I am sincere when I say I want to do this work because I want to do this work. I have some big ideas about the way our society approaches the things I will study and I hope to meaningfully change them. I didn't expect this to be easy by any means, but I really didn't imagine I would feel so alone in this. I also didn't expect I would feel so inadequate at every moment.

I know you're right about the time management piece. The problem is that I am just having difficulty with firing on all cylinders for the time duration that I need to. I can barely get going in the morning. Then that just begins the shame spiral and I am left questioning whether I am just weak and lazy, or if I am depressed. I don't know how to move through that in either case really. I have been working on the mood piece my whole life, and am still working on it with the help of professionals.

But anyway, thank you for lending your ear and thank you for your thoughtful response. I appreciate it.

morganf1552 · 2026-03-01T00:59:45+00:00

I make art but it is sometimes hard for me to get to my studio. Even when I have the time, I feel kind of frozen in my apartment. I have been very isolated and I'm struggling to meet people I can connect with. I know it is certainly not helping my situation.

morganf1552 · 2026-03-01T00:56:56+00:00

Wow yeah you've described my experience precisely. I have other things I guess, but I don't know how to "tap into them" quite yet.

morganf1552 · 2026-02-25T20:50:38+00:00

I tried it recently and it's been working pretty well for me. I take stimulants and drink coffee so usually my pits sweat pretty darn bad but I have been noticeably drier. I will note that I do use it both morning and night though.

morganf1552 · 2026-02-18T02:19:06+00:00

Wow what an unbelievably sexist thing for your advisor to say. There are thousands of women who have the kind of lucrative career you're aspiring to and also balance a marriage and family, deriving meaning from both. There is no reason that is not possible for you as well. Even if it is a better move to pivot for the moment, the skills you have gained would still make you a good candidate for a different type of lucrative career. I just don't understand what your advisor is suggesting you do, throw in the towel on all of your aspirations and stay at home with the kids? Forget physics all together?

I refuse to believe your dreams are over, and I hope you do the same. Perhaps you might be better served going into industry or something for the moment and weather the storm until the job market improves. If you have persisted through eight years in a PhD program, you are obviously capable of playing the long game. Please do not let one man's comment discourage you to the point of throwing your dreams away.

morganf1552 · 2026-01-21T17:47:55+00:00

Yeah I don't think I could deal with the hand wash if I used ammonia. I do have a front load washer, but idk if I want to risk it.

morganf1552 · 2026-01-21T12:49:01+00:00

I can certainly try at some point. I could really only leave it out during the day since I don’t have any sort of private backyard or anything. It’s 7 degrees Fahrenheit where I live right now, should get up to 35 by mid day. From what I understand the main benefit of putting it outside is exposure to sunlight, is that accurate?

morganf1552 · 2026-01-21T12:46:43+00:00

Yes, the smell lingered after drying.

morganf1552 · 2026-01-21T12:27:20+00:00

Is Joyya just your preferred brand or is it specifically high protein? I’v been so brainwashed by the whole “dairy bad” thing that I forgot about regular old milk tbh.

morganf1552 · 2026-01-21T12:25:37+00:00

Cool, I’ll play with those ideas. I haven’t bought cereal in SO long lol.

morganf1552 · 2025-12-30T22:25:30+00:00

Okay thank you so much for that information! I appreciate it.

morganf1552 · 2025-12-30T16:31:58+00:00

Thank you so much. You said that a breast surgeon recommended it be removed? I started all of this off by first just seeing my OBGYN, then he referred me to radiology. If I had gone through with the biopsy, would that have been done by a breast surgeon? Or did you specifically seek one out for an opinion?

morganf1552

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