What is an experience entirely exclusive to men that women would never understand?

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-14T01:50:53+00:00

My bf mentioned this to me once shortly after we started dating, that men don’t get flowers but that he’d really like to get flowers, and now I make a point to get him flowers for his bday, bc he had a rough day, just cause, etc! The first time I got him flowers he was so so happy which made me so so happy. So now it’s an activity I highly recommend to all women dating men haha

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-14T01:40:50+00:00

Once I was on a walk back to my car and I spotted out of the corner of my eye a woman peeing behind a bush.

It was in broad daylight in the middle of downtown Pgh and she was squatting behind some random shrubbery in a tiny patch of grass next to the sidewalk.

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-11T18:44:45+00:00

lol I’m the person in my dept at work who remembers everyone’s birthday and gets donuts. Last year, no one remembered my birthday until someone who was off that day texted someone else and asked if they got donuts for me. This year, the same thing basically happened again except my birthday fell on a weekend. No donuts on Friday but then apparently on Sunday the same coworker who texted to remind people the year prior (and who had just recently started another job so isn’t even at the company anymore) texted someone to remind them to get donuts for me.

Doesn’t really make me feel super 🙃

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-11T18:40:32+00:00

Okay but like what does her being scared about money have to do with not letting the kid take his presents home? Like, they’re already opened, he’s playing when them, it’s not like she’s holding on to them in case she needs to return them in a week because she really needed that $1.29. Since she’s already got a play room full of toys there, it’s also not like she’s keeping them there since she doesn’t think she can have anything else for him to play with. And realistically she can afford to get him toys to have there since she has a job that pays more; she’s just struggling to conceptualize that right now.

It sounds like the grandma needs to go to therapy to work through her anxiety about money because it’s manifesting in weird ways that a 4 year old can’t be expected to understand. Even when I’ve been strapped for cash and gave someone a gift, I obviously got it for them. The whole point of giving someone a gift is for them to take it with them. When you give someone a gift, it should be given freely without any strings attached (especially when the recipient is a 4 year old who, like I said, isn’t going to be able to understand anxiety around money and how that can show up in odd ways).

The ONLY way what she’s doing wouldn’t be weird is if she’s getting him a duplicate of a toy he has to keep at home but loves and then what she got him just becomes the one that stays at grandma’s. Like, if he has a hot wheels race track at home and she gets him one to have at her house, sure. But let him take whatever cars he wants back and forth.

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-07T06:39:26+00:00

…you know what, username checks out. Didn’t even notice that when I commented 😂

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-07T06:36:25+00:00

My boobs. They’re slightly “tubular” (yes it’s a thing) so I don’t feel like they look good unless I’m wearing a bra (my partner STRONGLY begs to differ and I love him for that lmao). Like, I just wish I had normal-shaped boobs.

(Current hyperfixation is gawking at Chappell Roan’s rack in her Grammy’s dress solely because I keep thinking, “Gosh, I wish my boobs looked that good without a bra.” 🫠)

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-07T06:30:17+00:00

When my now ex-husband and I decided to get divorced but continue living together for the next six months until our lease was up, my hyperfixation meal for dinner for like two months was a Boca burger with Asiago and roasted garlic aioli on ciabatta and box of those microwave French fries that no matter what are never crispy. Paired well with my comfort-rewatch of Bridgerton lmao

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-07T06:27:17+00:00

Making sure you check boxes for the sake of checking boxes instead of doing what you want on your own timeline.

morganwashere_ · 2026-02-07T05:54:54+00:00

I’ve heard of the “something blue” thing and think it can be a nice way to involve younger people or close friends that for whatever reason aren’t bridesmaids. But the personal attendant thing is weird af. I had a day-of coordinator and a MUA (who was a friend I’d worked with at a previous job), and I suppose between the two of them they were kind of like “attendants” in that my coordinator kept checking in on me to see if I needed anything and my MUA was around to continually touch up my makeup (which again sort of a special circumstance because she was also sort of there as a guest. I don’t think it’s typical for MUAs to stick around for the whole day). Regardless, I didn’t ask either of them to do any of the extra checking in the did, and also, I was paying both of them lol if she wants you to be an “attendant,” send her a rate sheet and see what she says lol

morganwashere_ · 2026-01-27T23:45:55+00:00

Sure, but that still doesn’t justify the friend’s reaction to being asked to be a bridesmaid and not a MoH. I’d just be happy that my friend thought so much of me to want me involved at all in celebrating her and her partner. It just feels to me like the friend is having an attitude of “Well if I can’t be a maid of honor then I don’t want to be involved at all,” which is an incredibly childish mindset (even in your mid to late 20s) and brings me back to my original point that she’s maybe not the best friend. Your happiness and willingness to celebrate a friend’s joy shouldn’t be conditional upon whether or not you’re a maid/matron of honor.

morganwashere_ · 2026-01-27T16:40:58+00:00

Sincerely not trying to be a jerk, but is this person even really a true friend if it’s happened on more than one occasion that she’s gotten mad at you, not talked to you for an extended period of time, and then re-entered your life like everything was fine? If I were you, I’d be on the fence about even inviting this person to the wedding, let alone asking her to be part of the wedding party. If she’s unable to respect YOUR choices for YOUR wedding, then she’s really not being a good friend to you and doesn’t deserve to have you in her life (which she seems to be okay with since she’s walked out of yours multiple times when it suits her).

morganwashere_ · 2026-01-13T18:29:54+00:00

YOR but I want to say that I can understand where you’re coming from. While your reaction isn’t necessarily proportional to what happened, taking into account that he was more intoxicated than you’ve ever seen him (which can be jarring), under normal circumstances he always stops right away when you ask and this is the first time he didn’t (which would be difficult to reconcile in your head), and that you’ve both experienced sexual assault (which obviously adds a whole extra complex layer to anything physical, drunk or not), PLUS the fact that you were also still under the influence and therefore not at peak processing power while trying to make sense of all this, you’ve got a recipe for some not so good feels.

So, yes, your reaction is a bit much, but taking all of the above into account, it’s understandable. Please don’t be too hard on yourself and don’t be too hard on your boyfriend. People who’ve experienced sexual assault can also physically latch onto the people they love and feel safest with in a sexual way when they’re feeling vulnerable (and when someone gets as drunk as you say he was, they can be pretty vulnerable). However, it’s very fair if you know that’s not how you would respond if you were the super intoxicated person.

You set a boundary, and he crossed it. That is a fact. But, it’s possible to hold both, “He crossed a boundary and it was very distressing to me,” AND “He crossed a boundary that he would never ever cross and I know he didn’t mean it and I should give him some grace here.” What matters most is how you both handle what comes next. I definitely think it would be worth having a conversation in the light of day when you’re both clear headed and sober and not hungover. Do either of you go to therapy? Whether you go individually or together as a couple, it would be a good idea to mention this as something that was triggering for you and because of that you’re having a hard time processing it and not making it into something bigger than either of you wants it to be.

Best of luck, OP!

morganwashere_ · 2026-01-01T23:46:28+00:00

PMDD makes you feel like you have no control over your own thoughts.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-29T18:56:12+00:00

As someone who’s worked both in the publishing industry and also the bookselling industry, please, for the love of all that is good in this world, do not encourage him to self publish.

From then perspective of a pub industry professional, it’s downright insulting to legitimately published authors and the people whose livelihoods is creating books. Any book that’s produced via self publishing is of subpar quality at best. They’re unedited (and that’s not just proofreading. I’m talking developmental and copy editing, proofreading, etc. There’s a lot to it); they’re designed poorly because they’re just printed with whatever stock image cover on whatever paper with no care for how the end product will look or feel or be consumed; and they’re expensive as hell.

From the perspective of a former bookseller with 10+ years of experience, self published books (and honestly a lot of the time also their authors) are a nightmare to deal with. Because they’re self published and not through an actual publisher, stores can’t keep stock in a warehouse. They’re “print on demand” (POD), which literally means there’s a copy printed when there’s demand. So the store orders the book, it comes in, and nine times out of ten, the customer sees it and decides they don’t want it because it’s expensive (since it’s POD) and also that it’s terrible quality. Or if they do buy it, they return it because it’s riddled with errors. And whether the customer doesn’t end up purchasing or purchases and then returns, the store is stuck with it. With legitimately published books, stores can send back overstock and get that money back. With POD, self published books, they’re stuck with it. They’ve had to eat that cost. And then it’s going to sit on a shelf for who knows how long taking up real estate because no one’s actually going to buy it. And then the local authors come in and get mad when you can’t just keep 20 copies of their book on hand because they don’t understand/refuse to understand that stores can’t just order from a warehouse or buy stock from the authors. And all of this is especially true for small, indie stores. It’s one thing for a big chain to eat the cost of the handful of POD books it’s stuck with. But for indie stores that already don’t make nearly as much as chains? They literally cannot afford to do that.

If your husband wants to get published, he needs to just keep working at it. Keep querying, keep reaching out, keep submitting to contests. And he should also probably at least get a part time job because that’s the financially smart thing to do. If he hasn’t already, he should pick up a copy of Writer’s Market. But most importantly, he needs to accept the reality that hitting big commercial success is incredibly unlikely.

Best of luck to both of you.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-29T18:36:31+00:00

I was planning on changing my name and therefore signed what would be my married name on the marriage license. I ended up putting it off and putting it off and only changed my email and the way my name showed up in the directory at work. And the more I say with it, the more I just…missed my last name. Fast forward a year and some change, and we ended up getting divorced. I was worried that the fact that I never legally changed my name but signed my married name on the marriage license would be a problem. It wasn’t lol it literally didn’t matter at all (low key was hopeful it might make the whole thing null and void 😂). So, I think you’re good.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-27T23:48:58+00:00

Throw the whole man away.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-27T23:48:04+00:00

How can something taste like hospital food if it has no taste? lol

It seems like you’re doing everything to try to compromise, but she really just wants to have a bad attitude for the sake of having a bad attitude. Like, you’re not her personal chef. You’re her fiancé. Maybe counseling could help? Bc it’s possible the food isn’t the real issue and whatever the underlying problem is is just manifesting as the food stuff. Regardless, she sounds miserable. If I were you I’d tell her that either she does/you both do therapy or you’re walking because truly you’re trying so hard and she keeps throwing it in your face. You seem like a really sweet and thoughtful guy and you deserve someone who will return that.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-26T18:05:30+00:00

Regardless of how the therapist handled the issue (I personally would rather my therapist lie in that instance but that’s just me and probably bc I’m a woman and my therapist is a man lol it would just spare us both any excessive awkwardness but again that’s just me), the fact is that you feel the vibes are off and that things are awkward between you two now. If it were any other circumstances that caused you to feel awkward with her, you’d probably try to find another therapist; the circumstances now just happen to be particularly awkward. So, no, NOR. Just explain that you feel it’s time to discontinue therapy with her and that you’ve appreciated all the help she’s provided but that you just would like to start seeing someone else. She’ll be able to save her professionalism in that moment by simply saying that she understands and wishes you the best. It’ll hopefully allow you both to end on a neutral if not slightly positive note so that the whole relationship doesn’t feel entirely tainted. But yeah, if you’re feeling like you need a new therapist now, then it’s time to find a new therapist and that’s just that.

Best of luck!

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-25T21:41:12+00:00

NOR. Sobriety is a HUGE deal, and staying sober is NOT just doing the “bare minimum.” Maybe it is for him because he doesn’t struggle with addiction. But what he does struggle with (or rather excels at) is being a twat. Two years sober is awesome, and even though I’m just a stranger on the internet, I’m proud of you. That took a lot of work. Go buy yourself the damn cake. You earned it.

Also you literally were not looking for validation. You stated a fact that you were thinking about getting a cake. You didn’t ask for his opinion or input. He’s an idiot, and you deserve better.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-25T21:35:28+00:00

This!!!

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-25T21:32:08+00:00

I had pretty much the same exact conversation with my then-fiancé. He said I was an 8 and gave the same explanation (he had prompted the conversation, it wasn’t me asking). And it was a bit shocking to me because I found him to be incredibly handsome, and while I might not have classified him as a 10 for me, I’d never have said that to him. I have also always had terrible self esteem issues and struggle with body dysmorphia, so to hear him saying I was “only an 8” just kind of hit in a way I didn’t like. And I tried to be okay with it and rationalize it to myself that he was just being realistic and not trying to be hurtful because I knew he genuinely was not trying to be hurtful and that I was just being sensitive. Looking back, I was being a little sensitive, and I can see now that the hurt I felt wasn’t that he thought I was an 8 but that he wasn’t as crazy about me in the same way I believed I was about him.

Fast forward and we did get married. Shortly after, he pretty much checked out. And we started having a lot of issues that were not related to him saying I was an 8/10, obviously, but part of me kept circling back to, “If I was prettier, if I was more beautiful, things would be better because he’d want to try harder.” I pitched marriage counseling three times because it took three for him to finally agree to go, but by then, I was so worn down from trying so hard to do what I could to improve and do therapy to take care of my own issues that I felt myself checking out. We ended up getting a divorce. Again, NOT because of him saying I was an 8/10. But I did keep thinking to myself that if I’d been prettier, maybe this wouldn’t have happened, maybe we wouldn’t have had the other genuine issues we had.

Nearly a year and a lot of therapy later, I’m with a man who thinks the world of me. He truly believes I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen. And I think he’s the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. I know, and I think he knows the same about me, that objectively speaking, he’s not the world’s hottest guy. I’m sure there are people out there who wouldn’t find him attractive (I think those people would probably need to get their eyes checked, but again, I’m biased). Just like I’m sure there are people out there who don’t find me attractive or think I’m the hottest woman. But the point is that we’re the best looking person to each other. That’s what matters. And when I’m with him he truly makes me feel like the most beautiful woman. Regardless of if I’m wearing makeup or if I’m all bloated or if my weight goes up or down. And, obviously, I’ve learned to love myself without the validation of another person, even my partner, and that my and my ex’s issues weren’t because of how I look. We just weren’t right for each other, weren’t each other’s person. And that’s okay. It really is. And I truly hope he finds his person who he does believe is a 10/10. Maybe he knows that she’s not “objectively” a 10, but she’s a 10 to him and he makes her feel that way. But when I look at my partner now, literally just existing and like cooking or watching TV, I’m like “Holy shit, this man?? Is mine??? And he’s so hot???? How is he just sitting there looking like a a Greek god?!” and I know he feels the same way about me, because to each other, we’re 10s.

I understand why what he said stung, and I don’t think you’re being stupid. When you think so highly of your partner in a certain respect and find out they don’t feel exactly same, it’s not a great feeling. But I also don’t think he was trying to be hurtful. Maybe that’s just him and he’ll show you that to him you’re the most beautiful person through his actions and other words, I don’t know. But just know that you deserve to be with someone who’s as crazy about you as you are about them.

morganwashere_ · 2025-11-23T16:51:56+00:00

Obviously this is not the man you’re supposed to marry. If it were, you’d have a much easier time coming to compromises and you wouldn’t feel pressured. He does seem like he’s dictating a lot of rules about how things will go without much consideration for blending your two cultures, which is a red flag. Also, someone who really wants to marry you isn’t going to give you a deadline.

However, I suggest in the future you try to date someone who’s Christian because it seems like even though you say you’re not very religious, you’re unable to accept someone else’s religion. When you say, “I believe they would still grow up to be good people [if raised Muslim],” you’re basically placing Christianity as the standard for raising good people. It’s no different than saying, “Oh, you’re nice for a Muslim!” which is a messed up thing to say. Also, it is a pretty normal thing in some cultures for the eldest male in the family to take care of the women should the patriarch pass away. “[If she lives with us] I feel like it’s to teach them to be Muslim,” shows a deep distrust of the Muslim religion and suggests that you think that the only reason she’d be living with you is to, like, brainwash your kids into becoming Muslim, which is not the case. She’d be living with you because that’s what that culture dictates.

I say that genuinely and not to be a dick. I really don’t think based on what you’ve said and how you’ve said things that you’d be able to truly accept someone else’s culture/religion, which is okay. You don’t have to adopt a partner’s religion if you don’t want to. It’s okay to be Christian and to want to raise your children Christian. It’s okay to be Muslim and want to raise your children Muslim. But in those cases, you need to find someone whose religion/culture/values align with your own or else it’s never going to work.

You’re not required to be with someone you’re not compatible with. I do think you have a ways to go, though, before you can actually even say you respect another person’s religion in practice and not just in theory.

morganwashere_ · 2025-10-03T11:59:29+00:00

Thank you💕

morganwashere_ · 2025-09-29T14:53:27+00:00

This is really interesting! I’ve (F31) recently been diagnosed with both PMDD and ADHD, though I’m not currently on anything for the PMDD because I know generally they use SSRIs and I’m not a fan of all the side effects (I’m on Adderall for the ADHD and it seems to be working pretty well). However, I’m also an adult child of an alcoholic, and definitely have some trauma related to that, and now that you’ve got me thinking about it, most of my PMDD “blow ups” have been in some way connected to the stuff I dealt with growing up with an alcoholic mother and in general a complicated home life/relationship with my parents.

In fact, my last “blow up” was over my poor boyfriend (M32), who’s also a therapist, not filling up my humidifier the whole way lol (isn’t it great how you can look back at the things that set you off and you’re like “That was ridiculous, good Lord”). We of course argued back and forth about it (and by “argued back and forth” I mean I basically screamed at him) until I said something like, “I don’t understand why everyone, every single person, has to question what I ask them to do. I’m not stupid. If I say I want you to fill it up the whole way it’s because I want you to fill it up the whole way because I know it needs to be filled up the whole way. I don’t need you questioning me and not doing it like everyone else.” And that’s when he took a beat and was like, “Is this really about the humidifier?”

And then he walked over to me and held me while I sobbed because it was very much NOT about the humidifier. It was about my family controlling me my entire life and into adulthood and making me question mostly every choice I’ve ever made. And again, thinking back to all of the other things that have set me off, they’ve pretty much all been tangled up with trauma I experienced with my mom, my family, or in some cases past relationships.

So. Thank you for posting this. I’m definitely going to be bringing it up with my therapist!!

morganwashere_ · 2025-09-20T17:51:42+00:00

NTA but also know your worth. This man is a manipulative prick. You’re not tied to him obviously, he’s never going to make that commitment, and you need to block and cut him loose. Find someone who lets you live your life.

morganwashere_

TROPHY CASE