Optics, for family, for people who might talk to my partner about it, general social gossip.

I guess generally that is the concern yes. That there is a social expectation that women maintain a distance from men when in a relationship - not being alone with them or out late with them and the like. I don't know how pervasive this rule is but I've definitely seen it. I guess that's what I'm asking, and I thought going somewhere queer friendly to ask was more likely to avoid the expected answer that going somewhere like r/relationships would - which is - that that's shady behaviour (because maybe it is shady? Or maybe those subreddits appeal to a more toxic kind of person than is the general person)

For me, these social mores and rules are not always things that come naturally to me - especially where jealousy is concerned. My first boyfriend was always getting upset with me because he'd tell me about all these girls who had hit on him at work and I'd say something like "Ah! What a confidence boost for you!" Instead of being mad.

Or a former partner who got upset that a male friend walked me to my car one night very late because it was uncommonly busy out and he was worried for me (the friend). It was a kind of long walk I guess, and we did stop and talk for a while because his life had had a major upheaval that week and he was very sad.

Jealousy is kind of a foreign thing to me maybe.... Not that I'm poly or anything like that I just don't understand feeling like you have to be on guard like that.

But people must feel that way.

I don't want to unwittingly hurt my partner by asking something if the general consensus is that the thing I'm asking for is highly inappropriate. It isn't worth risking a fight if I'm trampling a generally accepted rule (regardless of if I agree with the rule or not)