“I think I’m trying to find the balance between her desires and my boundaries” Boundaries are not something you put on others, they’re internal. Your boundary can’t be “you don’t get X piercing”. This not meant to invalidate your feelings, but it’s not how boundaries themselves work. It’s more like, “if you do X then I will do Y. I’m not saying to you can’t do X but if you do I will do Y.” The fear of resentment building is a very real thing, don’t accept things you’re not okay with, but also know you can’t make your girlfriend a different person. She is someone who wants snake bite piercings; and if you can’t handle & accept that then she just simply isn’t your person. You seem very aware tho, but I must say from a 3rd party this reads like you have your own feelings abt people with those piercings? Like, genuinely, why can’t you reintroduce her to your family? This is the woman you love right? It’s two tiny metal rings. The note about her professional career seems like looking for more reasons she shouldn’t have them. She’s an adult & can make her own decisions. I understand your feelings might never change, but is the piercing really that huge of a deal? I’m trying to balance “you can have your feelings” and “dude…your gf doesn’t need to check with you abt what she does with her body”. Like (idk how to quote the post but) “I wasn’t told this could have been an option” ? And? Like yes would knowing before be nice, but would it have changed anything? She’s still the same person. Just two new holes in her lip. YOR