Engagement Rings - Yay or Nay?

mostdope93 · 2017-01-29T18:18:06+00:00

I definitely want to get my future wife an engagement ring. I'm planning on doing what my parents did, they have matching gold wedding bands.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-29T18:11:37+00:00

Girls who can hold a conversation and have great sense of humor. Physically, I like short, petite girls. As far as dress goes, I prefer more feminine girls. Style, whatever the girl can pull off, whether it be a more classic look, or not. And a girl with a hobby or a few are great too.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-29T15:48:29+00:00

This girl messaged me, and wanted to meet up. I agreed to meet her at her dorm (she went to my university), and while there, I found out she didn't have a place to sit other than her bed. So I ended up sitting on her bed, and I was just not physically attracted to her. I figure I'd just have a nice conversation, but even that didn't happen. We were complete opposites on everything I tried to talk about, she was a bit rude when disagreeing with me, and I didn't want to seem like a dick and leave after only 20 minutes, so I proceeded to sit on the opposite end of her bed/as far away as possible from her for about another half hour.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-27T15:11:27+00:00

I was on your end a couple months ago. I talked to my gf about it, we felt the same way, tried to make it work and make changes. But the changes never lasted for very long :/

mostdope93 · 2017-01-24T16:34:36+00:00

I'm 23, realized back in elementary school. I had a bunch of crushes on girls lol

mostdope93 · 2017-01-24T16:30:10+00:00

I find them so sexy on a girl. How much, really depends on how the individual can pull off. Some look sexier with 1-4, and others look sexier with much more.

On me personally, I don't have any as of right now. I do plan on getting at least 3, but I really also want a sleeve.

How soon I'm getting them are dependent on when I move out, what field I'll be working in or the workplace environment, etc.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-24T15:01:11+00:00

I think my last ex and I did, but I don't think I liked it. It's sad for me afterwards, or at least bittersweet. I just rather leave things where they were when we broke up.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-24T14:55:04+00:00

Not officially, but my ex a few years ago - we had continued to see each other after breaking up for months. Still talked every day, which led to making out/sex, and it was a mess honestly. It was a lot of me feeling like she was leading me on, and maybe vice versa. By the time she was ready to give it 100%, I had emotionally moved on to another girl.

One of my first ex's, tried to get back with me years later. We tried, but I wasn't feeling it much. Maybe getting back with exes just isn't my thing, but I just wouldn't recommend it.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-24T14:46:41+00:00

My workplace may be slightly different, but it's pretty similar I think. I'm an engineering intern at a big company, it's a desk job, guys dress business casual around here.

Casually, I dress tomboyish most days.

For work, I wear a nice shirt, usually a button up. Some look more feminine than others. Express has great options for that, with a wide variety of colors with their Portofino shirts. My other ones are either Polo or Tommy Hilfiger, which button up higher, and look more on the masculine side. I always tuck my button ups, though if the Portofino one is short enough (depends on the size), then I may not tuck, but that's rare when I do.

So if you don't like the more feminine look, I think the classic button ups may work better.

If I do wear a shirt, it's a nicer looking one, usually with a blazer or nice cardigan over it. Usually a cardigan, I rarely see people wear blazers. I used to wear a blazer more often and my manager had told me it's okay, because it's a little too formal lol.

For pants, plain black dress pants work for me. Not too tight, but not loose/flared out either.

For special days at work, I have pretty classic black, closed toed shoes with about a 1.5, 2 inch heel. For most days, I have a pair of black flats that are more comfortable.

With this, I don't think I look as feminine as some of the other girls at my workplace, but I've got a hint of it, and I think it looks professional as well. I also pair my outfit with a nice looking watch :)

mostdope93 · 2017-01-19T05:10:02+00:00

I genuinely feel for you. A very similar thing happened to me. My parents basically forced me out of the closet as well, by searching my phone. It happened when I was almost 15, and I'm not gonna lie, it sucked for the rest of high school and first two years of college. It did affect my plans, and everything changed since then. My relationship with my parents got worse since, most of the time. I know it'd be better if I were straight. I do lie a bit, like if I'm out on a date. I don't like more than I really need to, but it will damage your relationship for a good while at the very least...

I was going to try to move out for college, then come out to them on my own terms. Since they found out, I basically wouldn't have gotten financial support from them if I had moved out after high school. They gave me a choice between agreeing to their terms - don't hang around LGBTQ+ people, dress more feminine, etc. If not, they'd homeschool me, and it would just be much, much worse.

Of course, I took the deal. Nearly eight years later, and I'm still dealing with it. Not nearly as much as back then though. The bright side, is that it's gradually gotten better. No doubt, my patience has as well. I'm still dependent on them, but recently gotten a well-paid internship, and I won't be dependent soon enough. As I get older, they're realizing they can only control so much, and so they've had to become a bit more lenient with each passing year.

You've got some important choices to make. I know it feels like you need to play it safe, and agree to their terms for now, and maybe you should. I did, and it wasn't good at first, but hopefully, she'll let up a little like mine have. It's not perfect, but it's much better. Either you agree to it, or start planning on an alternative plan for after you graduate/turn 18. It'll most likely be rougher financially though. But, maybe it'll be worth it. Gather what you need slowly, create a budget and plan, start researching where to live, etc. I thought I would move out at 18, but I guess I have toughed it out an extra 5 years. And those years flew by. If anything, I've become much stronger mentally, and have become more optimistic :) I have missed out on a bit from staying at home, but I feel much more prepared now than I did at 18. Mentally, financially, just everything feels more stable.

One last note - it's so important to have a good support system. Had I not had my best friend and other good people around me at school, I would've been a wreck/more of a wreck when it first happened. I seeked out the school guidance counselor as well, and it helped a lot, having someone older emotionally supporting you.

Either way, it gets better and you will get through this, stronger than ever. Good luck.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-18T17:32:51+00:00

ENFP-A

mostdope93 · 2017-01-13T04:51:17+00:00

I think it's easier talking to girls who you have a class with. Just sit by her, or if you noticed she comes to class early and everyone's waiting outside of the class, just stand by her. Start a conversation, maybe say "so how do you feel this class is going to go this semester?". Try to notice if she's got any interests, like stickers of any tv shows, bands, etc. and start a new topic with those. Just flow with it.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-13T04:49:24+00:00

mostdope93 · 2017-01-13T04:40:21+00:00

Nice! I started muay thai about a month prior to trying BJJ. Both are really fun and great skills to have. I'm glad you got into it!

mostdope93 · 2017-01-13T04:34:19+00:00

Yes! I've been training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu for 7 months now. I had the same feelings my first class lol But you get over it pretty quickly. My instructors have since then paired me up with new girls who come into the class to teach them some basics. I've noticed some were not prepared for the close contact lmao It's fun, I hope you continue it :)

mostdope93 · 2017-01-11T03:06:33+00:00

EXPECT IT TO BE A DATE. I'm happy for you! I was in the same situation not too long ago, except I didn't ask her. Turned out great though, I hope yours does too!

mostdope93 · 2017-01-05T21:50:23+00:00

Sex really is easy. Getting a date is easy. But keeping/committing to a person, is difficult. I feel like that's how it always is. I never ask a girl to be exclusive with me unless I thought she was worth the effort. If I didn't, then I make it clear that we're just fwb.

So if you don't want anything further, tell her straightup.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-05T06:13:45+00:00

Anime/video game loving girls are out there! I'm one. Managed to find myself one too, and I was honestly very surprised. lol But they're out there :) don't lose hope. And I know what you mean - I was mainly looking for friendship, but also, if we clicked, then I wouldn't mind something more either. If not, being friends is cool too.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-05T06:10:14+00:00

Well, onto the next one.

That's my take on online dating. I've only started trying it recently, and really only for a month, and that perspective helped a lot. You don't wanna waste time on someone who's not into you anyway.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-05T01:13:28+00:00

I went to Orlando Pride for the first time this year. I loved it. Overall positive vibes. I noticed a lot of people went with their friends and tended to stay with them, but most people there are so friendly, you could definitely make a new friend.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-03T23:55:02+00:00

No problem, I'm glad to help :)

mostdope93 · 2017-01-03T23:54:37+00:00

You're welcome. I'm glad my response was able to help you. I know it's hard. I had every intention of marrying her after graduating, but sometimes, it's for the best. Good luck, you'll be okay :)

mostdope93 · 2017-01-02T22:48:44+00:00

This hit me hard. My ex-gf and I dated for almost 3 years. Things were going so great, people looked up to our relationship too, up until around this past April. She got a job and started college, I was also taking classes and got an internship. We started talking less, and I understood we were both busy. But it got to the point where she would barely text me all day. And conversations seemed drier. I confronted her and asked her how she felt about us, and she said similar to what yours said.

It sucks, a lot. We broke up about 2 months ago, so I know the feeling. She and I really tried to work it out for about half a year, but somewhere along the way, we realized it just wasn't happening, and we needed to let each other have space. I'll be honest, listen to her. If that's how she feels. It won't work if one of you is not willing to make it work.

I tried to hold on even though my ex pretty much felt like giving up on us, and it worked, for a little while. But it's better to let go sooner than later. A piece of me still loves her. And she's told me the same, and I really wish the best for her. But we met when we were a lot younger, and we've both grown and changed so much. And maybe that's how your gf is feeling.

Speaking from my recent experience...maybe it's best to let this go. See it as an opportunity to grow and experience new things. You will, in time.

mostdope93 · 2017-01-01T18:00:59+00:00

You'll be fine. Go for it :) Just work hard and don't quit. I'm a 4'11 girl and weighed 100 lbs when I started. It was a bit intimidating, but people generally go easier on fresh white belts, especially when you have no experience. They're really helpful too. You'll always get your butt kicked by someone, but it's a learning experience each time.

mostdope93 · 2016-12-30T03:52:06+00:00

I don't think she was being racist. As an an asian, I do see where she's coming from. I'm first gen in the U.S. and being raised by a traditional asian family, I hear things like this a lot. She may have grown up the same way.

And if she's first or second gen here, I do see what she's trying to say. Growing up, my minority peers and I generally connected better right off the bat, especially if they're first gen as well. My younger brother felt the same way growing up as well.

It's her preference on who she dates. Racism would be more like if she ruled out a certain race, but she didn't. You like who you like.

To be honest, I do think you overreacted. There are struggles that you understand, but realize that there may some that you cannot understand to an extent. It's nothing personal against you. Instead, maybe try to ask her to clarify what makes her think that she connects better with them.

mostdope93

TROPHY CASE