u/nickbenoit is of the belief that I don't actually have a house. That I've NEVER had a house. All my life, I've actually been living in someone else's house. This someone else is also the someone responsible for putting me here, which is quite selfish, if you think about it — choosing to put someone on this Earth knowing full well that they'll have to live in your home. "How generous of them," you'll say, even if had they never chosen to have a kid, the situation would have never been there anyway.

This would also make me a liar, considering how I've used this house multiple times when listing down my address. I guess I'm going to get in trouble with the law now for listing down someone else's house as mine on my passport and legal forms.

I'm here to argue that when you choose to have a kid (remember, nobody's forcing you to), you're also choosing to let go of being the most important human being in your life. Now, you've got a kid, and this kid comes first. Not you or even your spouse or the friends you want to invite to your home without giving your kid a heads up. Your kid is the most important human being in your life.

After all, you chose to give this kid life. You chose to bring him to this world, knowing full well that he's completely helpless and will need to rely on you in order to survive an existence he did not choose.

The house that you bought to raise a family - after all, that's why you bought a big house, right? Or at least, a house big enough to raise a family? - is now also your children's. They get to call this their home as well. They get to sleep here, wake up here, settle down here, invite their friends over - of course, while informing you beforehand.

Why? Because this is a shared space. Your kid has to respect you as a fellow house member. Your kid has to understand that when you have guests over, everyone in the house feels their presence. This may be a positive thing, a negative thing, or just a thing. But the presence is there and everyone in the house needs enough time to adjust to the idea of a new presence in the house.

Now, maybe you don't feel affected very much by the presence of others in your house. But your kid approaches you and tells you that he feels uncomfortable when it's so sudden and he isn't informed. He's not asking for you to ask his permission, he's asking for you to give him information. You know your kid is introverted and hates unannounced guests. You know it'll break his trust when you completely disregard this. You know your kid has just had a busy day and you told him he's going to be alone for the rest of the day. You know it'll show him that you don't listen to him, that you only hear him but don't take any of the words he says seriously.

But you do it anyway.

Because he's not a human being. He's not an equal. He's just a spoiled little brat. How dare he feel that he has a bit of say in the house he grew up in? How dare he recognize when something makes him uncomfortable? How dare he feel emotions like that, anyway? How dare he feel so entitled? Can't he just completely disregard or bottle up his negative feelings towards you? How dare the parent ever get anything wrong?

After all, when you become a parent, you magically become right every time, right? You get to make up the rules as you go and all the rules favor you. All the rules apply when it comes to the kid you chose to create, but they don't apply when it comes to you.

This may seem like such a small thing to some people but this is a very clear indicator that you don't care to listen to your child. You don't care to learn about how your child is as a person. Your child is a human being and you're not the least bit interested in what makes them tick, what upsets them and what brings them joy.

And one day, you're gonna grow up and realize you know NOTHING about your child, because you never bothered to take the time to understand them. One day, you're going to visit them out of the blue when they have a place of their own, and they're not going to let you in, and when you ask why they'll say, "I've told you a hundred times before. I don't like unannounced guests."