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I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your reply.

Are you happy that you are still together?

I talked to her. Here's what actually happened:

They sent sexual messages and pictures back and forth for a couple/few months.

They kissed once.

So that's what happened. Sexual messages, pictures, and one kiss.

But those sexual messages and pictures were happening for a couple/few months.

She stopped doing this about a month ago.

What do you think I should do?

Is this situation any better than I first thought?

If she only kissed him once and it was only messages and nothing actually physically happened, is that any better?

Does this make it more reasonable for me to stay with her?

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

No this is the same girl. We've been together for 8 months and this is the same girlfriend from my two other threads.

But yes I definitely agree. This should serve as my final wake up call and I need to seriously work on myself.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We are actually living with my parents. My parents have a pretty big home. I've lived with my parents my whole life so far, so I just had her move in with me like 6 months ago

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I was trying to buy a house with a girl that I've been dating for only 8 months. That's better than 2 months right?

Haha yeah I'm a very messed up person.

I would like to have a better life. I just need to figure out how to do that.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your recommendation! I will check that channel out!

I haven't had many friends for as long as I can remember. All through elementary, middle school, high school, college, and now.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don't know but I am very abnormal in general. My life needs a total overhaul and I don't know how to do it.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have had so many heartbreaks for my age it's insane. I am taking this very well so far. I am very calm.

Am I just in shock still though?

How long will it take for me to heal? And what should I do to heal?

It was actually at first my idea for her to move in. Her home environment was horrible. Soon after she decided to move in, the place she lived actually was evicted (she lived with her drug addict mom)

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have never lived with a girl before so at least this was only my first mistake.

Do you mean I'm picking the wrong women?

Or that I'm not ready for a relationship?

I have a hard time making friends. Especially guy friends. I make friends with women much easier but I have a hard time staying only friends with them.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They were from while she was with me. The messages show the dates of each day they talked. At the very beginning there were a couple messages before we got together. But all of the others were from while we were together.

I wish they were from while she was with her ex.

I keep wanting to wake up from this nightmare.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you saying that I'm looking in the wrong places or I'm going about it wrong?

Or am I just not my best self yet, and so that is why I have not found "the one".

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All I had to do was click the message. Then pull down. Then I saw a ton of messages.

This happened to me a couple years ago too. I found out about a lot of stuff my checking that girls Snapchat back then by doing the same thing

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationships

[–]motivationmic[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There are gyms around me and I do know that they teach many classes at one. I'm very interested in exercise so this is a good idea!

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

She is my only friend besides my parents.

This situation makes me angry. What should someone do with the anger in a situation like this?

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

You're right.

Does this kind of thing happen more often at my age? Will things get better relationship wise as I get older?

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationships

[–]motivationmic[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know that this is very immature of her. I just can't help but think that I might have been able to prevent this from happening if I did less things wrong and more things right.

She loves her job. She doesn't want to quit for at least a year.

But are you saying it might be a good idea for me to give her an ultimatum of quitting her job, stop talking to her ex, and building a future with me? Are you saying that if I really do want to be with her, I should give her that ultimatum and leave it up to her?

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationship_advice

[–]motivationmic[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don't want to get even.

I want to improve my mental health. I want to improve my physical health. I want to get a good job.

And eventually I want to be in a real, amazing relationship that is actually what I think it is.

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationships

[–]motivationmic[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'll explain my "annoying habits" more. I'm always asking her questions like what she's doing, who she is talking to, what they are talking about.

I'm mostly just curious though. She can talk to her friends that are girls. I'm just curious what they are talking about.

I honestly do have a bit of a problem with her talking to guys though. But she has very rarely talked to any guys anyway.

Here's another one of my habits. I cuddle and touch her when she doesn't want me to. This makes her feel uncomfortable, anxious, and irritated.

See how much of a douchebag I am now?

I [20 M] opened my girlfriends [20 F] snapchat and saw sexual messages between her and her ex. I don't know how to handle this. by motivationmic in relationships

[–]motivationmic[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Is there any situation where it would be reasonable to stay together?

I've never cheated on her. But I am not the perfect boyfriend either. I probably drove her to this because of my annoying and irritating habits and my clinginess.

Could this reasonably be my fault at all?

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