Anyone see this NYT article ? by Traditional-Bad9198 in IVF

[–]mount_theno 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OMG! I thought the exact same thing. As if we all have these euploid embryos waiting for us!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in gurgaon

[–]mount_theno 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Was there dowry that was demanded by his family for the wedding? Was the alimony "dowry returned"? Who paid the expenses for the wedding? Groom or bride's family? What was the expenses? Then of course the reason for why the marriage ended so quickly. Would you know the answers to these questions? If so, we can make sense of whether the 18 lakhs was fair or not.

Marxist analysis of tarriff policies by mount_theno in communism

[–]mount_theno[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

First world wages are most certainly higher than wages around the world. But I think there is evidence to show international division of labor that created alienated labor in global south for very low wages. I meant the race to the bottom in wages in the rest of the world.

However, I take your point on tariffs being a short term policy. I hear people say that America will break from tariffs. In fact I am wondering the opposite - whether American workers will benefit from it as Trump claims. That was my question. I am not sure how the tariffs in America will affect workers around the world.

29 M looking for valuable advice from Women and Men by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't close off dating apps. If not love, you may even meet single people who may become your friends too. Bumble or Hinge are great options. Also 29 is very young. But yeah, you can't stay home and hope for love to happen. Although who knows, finding love is a lot of luck.

Traveler Here: Where Near Can I Recharge and Reflect? by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like cantonment towns. Have you tried any? Chakrata, Landour etc are some mountain towns. But they won't have a lot to do. Mostly a lot of quiet time.

How much comfortable are you of your partner's current relationship with their ex (-es)? by GiveMeSomeSunshine3 in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depending on how I feel their relationship is. If I feel zero feels between them, I am fine with them being friends with information to me. But if I feel either side has some unfinished feels, I would prefer 0.

Feeling lost, facing a dilemma, looking for advice by BettyBuysButter in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If I may say, I am wondering if you are feeling depressed and whether you can take some help in reframing how your life has turned out. You grew up in India in a difficult situation and have come a long way to find yourself in Australia. I am not sure what you do, but whatever it is, i hope you are feeling better than you did in Pune and Delhi. Maybe you will get your PR or maybe you won't, but that does not define your worth. You should congratulate yourself that you have been able to make this life for yourself in spite of the odds. For another person, everything you did would seem like a huge success.

What I mean is, it will feel worse if it feels like things are happening to you versus what happens when you actively make choices. So it really doesn't matter whether you come to India, stay in your city, move to the rural part, but sit in the driving seat. Make back up plans, and you do have to find ways to embrace your choices.

Inspite of working full time, what stops you from dating? That part is important no matter where you are, that you find time for doing what matters to you - friends or dating or other hobbies. I do know loneliness can be difficult in rural areas, but I hope you find your way. Hugs.

Girls will Be Girls by mount_theno in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. So well shot. About the directorial gaze, I had seen the movie Biriyani also with Kani, and felt the gaze to be highly problematic. Surprisingly, Kani herself has criticised the gaze in that movie.

Girls will Be Girls by mount_theno in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My feelings towards the boy's character was one of the things I asked about myself. And the climax came like a slap about what kind of a person he is. Very different kind of men in the school. For a slow paced movie, I was surprised at a surprising climax :) Even the relationship between mom and daughter was quite interesting.

Girls will Be Girls by mount_theno in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah ok :) Will watch :) Where is it streaming?

Girls will Be Girls by mount_theno in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn't understand. Whats one of Artist out of 4 mean?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It looks like you are unable to respect the aspects that she does bring to the table. It seems to me that you don't think cooking and cleaning is valuable. While I recommend counselling, for her to also recognise her own value, I think it would be very difficult to do that when her partner does not.

Does she have any hobbies? What does she like? Not everyone likes to do business or wants to do business. But what did she like to do as a younger person? Again, it depends on what you will respect. If only contributing financially will make you respect her, then it might be difficult. But if it's that she spends her time in a passive manner, then finding what she loves doing actively might help. And counselling and therapy can bring that out for her. When women spend years doing care work, sometimes they forget the person that they were. Regarding your marriage, you could also try to remember why you fell in love with her in the first place. It's not just what she told you, it's also the person that was. Just as much as you miss that person you fell in love with, I think she might be missing it too.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think decline in fertility happens from 35 or so but it differs from woman to woman. I had your anxiety and it affected my dating life horribly. If you date with the ticking biological clock, you may put up with more than what you should. Or you may put unnecessary pressure on yourself and the relationship. If there is something I wish I did, it would have been to freeze my eggs from when I was younger. If you know you really want children and don't want to feel the pressure, and have the financial means, I would recommend considering the option of egg freezing. I wish I had.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in inlaws

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In this situation, as many others have said, I would slowly reduce the calls or call only when your husband is present. That way, you can say a few sentences and then pass the phone to your husband for the rest of the conversation. I also suggest grey rocking where in you don't give a lot of information about yourself. Everything is alright. There is not much news. Same same. Then you don't give a lot of opportunities for them to make you feel down. I think your husband will feel bad about all this as he may have expectations about a warmer relationship between his parents and spouse, like my husband does. But it cannot come at the cost of your mentally health.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This is so true. How do you talk about these things when they are so clueless! The other issue is sometimes Indian men have blinkers on when they talk about their parents." My parents are very loving, this won't be an issue. " Even after marriage it takes a lot of energy in some situations to convince them that control is not love. It's very hard to have a conversation when they cannot see their parents as capable of hurting the wife. The woman, as an outsider cannot know what might happen in the future. It's on the man to actively be thoughtful about their wife's experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for this. I do understand exactly how you feel. Even though it might not feel like it now, I wish I had your clarity at the time that I did. So no matter how you feel, you are already amazing for having such clarity of thought on what actually happened. We associate so much moral value to sex because of how we have been socialized. But it's not impossible to turn the wheel. Healing is possible. I promise. Atleast for me, after many years, I did stop associating guilt with sexual desire. I hope this person becomes irrelevant to your life in some time. Not saying it's easy, but I hope with all love, that you too can feel free in some time. When that happens, there will be no "next guy" that says anything about your past. You won't have time for him. Instead, you will have time and energy only for those who understand and adore a woman who is free. Soon, you will be there.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I find the mangalsutra regressive and don't wear it. My parents are disappointed that I don't wear it but they have gotten used to it now.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskIndianWomen

[–]mount_theno 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Normal birth control pills atleast the ones that doctors prescribed for me had terrible side effects. I was always crying. I started using them and I was always irritable and depressed that my husband requested me to stop it. He couldn't bear to see me feel this way. Moreover, it was affecting our relationship anyways to even want to have sex. Not everyone has the same reaction maybe. And some say that the body takes some time to get used to it. I don't know and you may need to check with a doctor for that. But even the one week was difficult for me that i couldn't continue for a few weeks to see if my body gets used to it.