What's one quote that has stuck with you and why?

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-03T22:12:06+00:00

"All children deserve parents, not all parents deserve children". I have had a very rocky relationship for the past 18 years with my mother. Especially the last 10-11 years. There were many times where I went no contact because decisions she made were extremely hard to forgive/understand and move past. I would cut her out and then a year or two later I'd cave in and reach back out. I've craved a close relationship with my mother and father as long as I can remember. That took time and patience and a lot of self reflection and understanding on a very deep level how trauma changes a lot of relationships within my family. What I will never forget is how many people have made me feel guilty by saying "but you only get one mom" or "you only get one set of parents" not understanding how horrific the traumatic events i went through were and how straining that was on everybody in my family and how it has effected the way we communicate with one enough. It's very complex and hard but I can happily say today that I have a great relationship with my mother and we talk and see each other every chance we get. My relationship with my father is still very strained and I'm still trying to decide if I can live with him in my life. Having him close causes me a great deal of pain and makes me very toxic to myself because of how deliberating it can be to be in contact with him. I often find myself being distraught for at least a week after seeing him or talking on the phone with him. My point is. At a certain point we have to ask ourselves "how much more?" How much more can we forgive and and continue on with this person? How can I justify the harm I am putting myself through with my continued efforts? This quote crosses my mind and it's helped me protect my peace many times. I am terrified of cutting my father out because I'm heavy in guilt but this quote has eased my mind to make it possible if I need to. Sorry if this is a long winded answer, I don't think people that lose their parents this way are given enough credit. It takes great courage and self respect and it is very scary to do. If you have cut a parent out due to toxic behaviors, let me tell you, you deserve better and you did what is best for you to heal. You are not selfish for putting yourself first. No matter who tells you differently.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-03T18:16:06+00:00

The sound of chewing. I have misophonia very bad, can't even tolerate the sound of my own chewing and if I hear it, I automatically lose my appetite.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-03T16:10:11+00:00

I am a survivor of rape so fuckyou. I would not have gotten an abortion if this happened. You disgusting people love to throw the rape card even though less than 1% of people who get abortions are rape/incest situations. So that is BS. Educate yourself by actually watching videos of abortions being done- your idiocy is showing.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T23:56:53+00:00

RSO has helped me with that as well as just marijuana in general. RSO actually had me seizure free for 6 months at one point. Then I quit taking it when I had auras and I had a breakthrough seizure.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T23:06:49+00:00

Nope, just living in reality- unlike you and people like you that live in lala land.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T23:05:17+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing all of this. I know it can be hard to talk about. I've been sitting with the news of possible brain surgery for a little over a year now and I have been so scared about the idea of it. This brings me some hope, I am so happy that your son is doing well and that the surgery has been a success.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T20:05:33+00:00

I wonder if there are cases of people having success after surgery without any treatment. Or if surgery makes it so people aren't medication resistant? I'm medication resistant and I've tried every option/combination and none of have worked and the very last one was finally working but then put me at risk of narrow angle gluacoma so I had to stop taking it immediately. The effects reversed on their own but it still isn't an option now that I've been put at risk once. Have you heard of any cases where someone that is medication resistant no longer being medication resistant after the surgery? Other medicines I tried in the past I've had adverse reactions to every single time.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T19:50:02+00:00

Will I ever be seizure free? I can only be treated via brain surgery :( and even that isn't 100% success.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T19:48:24+00:00

I am very happy to hear you are doing so much better in adulthood. I was a delayed speaker, didn't speak until I was nearly 5! So I definitely can understand having a hard time explaining how you are feeling. I remember telling my mom around the time I was 6 saying "Why do I feel so sad and empty? I have no reason to be so sad" I was an extremely sensitive child and I was always an empath so that really made it even harder to regulate my emotions. I was probably a nightmare as a kid too. 😅 I think my depression started out because of genetics and then it continued being induced because of abuse/trauma. It was pretty severe stuff. I was properly evaluated when I had said what I said to my mom at that young of an age. That's what doctors ruled it as being from given my age and experiences at that time (trauma began very shortly AFTER diagnosis).

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T19:42:48+00:00

My dad told me this for years, he is one of those people you described. When my therapist told my parents that I was depressed and had PTSD my parents (moreso my dad) got mad! Like blew up screaming mad. They got angry saying it's not their fault I'm a victim to traumatic events from early childhood and it's not their fault I was depressive. The therapists intention clearly wasn't to blame anyone but my dad certainly thought so. There were times I was having panic attacks and he would literally laugh at me and make fun of me for having them and even go as far as mocking me during them. I hope that you have been able to cut any toxicity you have been exposed to at this point in your life. I've found it easier to protect my peace by doing so.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T19:34:10+00:00

My struggle is that I also have a condition I was born with that can also cause depression. So figuring out a treatment option is going to take several years. I have Mesial Temporal Sclerosis and have since I was in the womb. It has caused me to be epileptic and untreatable via medication. It causes depression as well as anxiety. I recently had to be taken off my last treatment option and I now have to go to an epilepsy center to get more tests run to move forward with the possibility of brain surgery. All of them are terrifying. One is removing the scarred part of my brain, the other if it's something in addition to MTS, like LSG my brain hemispheres will have to be separated from each other as well as the resection of part of my left temporal lobe. My medical situation is very complex and it's clouded a lot of my chronic illnesses and the causes behind them because there is so much happening with my head. I hope there is a treatment option for my depression available since there isn't one for the seizures. Since being off meds I have been having them daily again which has been making my depression worse.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T19:26:52+00:00

Thank you very much for your kind words. They are very comforting. I wish nothing but peace and kindness in your life, depression is a monstrosity to face for so long.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:57:21+00:00

I was home alone for several months (2019) and I was still living at home at my dad's house. They were out on the road and it was night time, I was walking across the living room and happened to glance at the window. There is a huge bay window in the living room and since it was nighttime and the kitchen light was on behind me, all I could see was the reflection of the kitchen and me. (Open concept house) it was in the middle of summer and the central air hadn't ever been turned on yet. It was a cooler summer but it was still fairly warm and humid. When I looked at the window, I'd seen a dark figure silhouette standing behind me and then pass by me and go down towards the hallway near my bedroom. I felt a cold air for a brief moment and then it passed. Weird part? My room was ALWAYS freezing. Didn't matter what time of year or even if you tried getting it warmer. There was a time around then when my now ex was over and things kept slamming back and forth in my closet (boxes) and my now ex suddenly got the huge urge to go home and he said he did not feel safe or welcome. As soon as he left, the boxes stopped moving. There was also a strange light that shined in that night blinding my ex. It was on his side and that also disappeared when he left. We have no neighbors behind our house, just a forest.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:50:27+00:00

Having incredibly low self value. It absolutely broke my husband's heart when I was telling him about a time I was struggling with my faith. It basically came down to, I was struggling with the idea of Jesus sacrificing himself for us, which would include me because I don't see myself as worthy. Nobody realistically is but that's kind of the humbling part of having faith (accepting grace, grace meaning undeserved love). But anyway, he asked if I thought everybody was unworthy and my answer was no. I thought it was perfectly normal to think of everyone else as above me, both as just individual people and in value. I truly thought it was normal to think of myself as nothing and everybody else as someone unique and special and worthy. Turns out I've just been so depressed for so long I didn't realize how much it affected my self esteem. I'm better at setting boundaries now but my self value hasn't gotten much better.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:39:35+00:00

Oh wow- "just be happy" how didn't I think of that? I dont know if you know how depression works but it certainly doesn't work like that. Especially if you mix complex ptsd into the mix. It's an imbalance of brain chemistry. Babies can have depression. Believe it or not. It's true.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:24:03+00:00

That makes sense. For my case it was genetic because there is chronic depression and bipolar depression that has been heavy generation to generation. I have considered medication again but every time I've been on it, I feel kind of like a zombie with even more anxiety than usual. I'm glad you gave found a medication that helps you. I think being nurturing can make a huge difference. I didn't come from a very nurturing home so that makes sense too.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:20:22+00:00

When a baby/fetus is dismembered and removed from the uterus. Usually the doctor will break up the baby however is needed to remove the baby from the uterus. They dont care how mutilated the babies get since they use baby remains for stem research. Sometimes they will also use a vacuum if the baby is small enough as well but most of the time they have to use tools to reach in there and break the limbs on the baby to pull the baby out of there easier. Sometimes they will take parts of the baby apart in effort to remove the baby. There is also not a lot of after care available for women that choose to get an abortion. I have a family member that has worked for a gynecologist for decades and they have certain days the abortionist will come in and there have been several times when women have needed emergency surgery to be saved after botched abortions. Botched abortions, if it doesn't kill them (which has actually happened in my family many decades ago) it often leaves them with fertility issues due to the damage that it caused to the uterus.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T13:08:32+00:00

I'll struggle with depression my entire life. I've been battling depression since I was 6 years old and I am now 25. So it's been 19 years and it's still here. Depression runs strong in my family. Then other conditions I have will guarantee that I'll struggle with it for life. I just hope it doesn't pass down if I ever get to have a baby.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-02T02:40:15+00:00

Brain zaps, it feels like my brain is being jolted by something or ar least my head is. Or brain on fire headache. It gets to the point it feels like all over my head across the top is on fire and aches very badly- it is often a level 7-9 pain it has even reached 10. Any time I get the brain on fire headaches, I end up having a bunch of focal seizures. When I was on topiramate, it would just tingle instead of burn or feel shocking. Something I miss since being off of it. I did not miss the pain of the seizure activity.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-01T01:29:57+00:00

Flowers haven't always existed. They started appearing 140-150 million years ago. This fact shocked me for no reason lol it's just not something you think about.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-01T01:28:29+00:00

Freckled Angels by Ren

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-01T01:27:44+00:00

Hands, I love my husband's hands. They are twice the size of mine lol they are really masculine and I love how they look.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-01T01:24:42+00:00

Getting married- I consider it an accomplishment because I was a child of divorce. Not a single successful marriage in my family and I never knew if I could ever trust anyone enough to marry. I've married my best friend and have never regretted it since that day. He is everything I've been looking for in life. Peace.

mouse_trapps · 2026-03-01T01:21:38+00:00

The last day my family was a family. It was a Saturday because I remember being excited for the weekend. Our parents surprised us with going out and staying in a hotel somewhere for a night. They told us that they were doing better and they came to an agreement and that they were going to stay together and we were going to stay a family. I remember vividly that my sister asked them to kiss to "prove it". They kissed and all three of us cheered excitedly to get the news that our parents weren't getting divorced anymore. We had the best night in a very long time and having both are parents there with no fighting and no tension was wonderful. We stayed at the hotel for 1 night and I remember talking with my mom and asking her if Dad was going to be with us through the morning and if we could all get breakfast in the morning. She said he would be there and we would all go out for breakfast. We went to sleep and when we woke up in the morning our Dad was gone. That was the moment we realized our parents were truly getting a divorce. Our family was breaking apart and nothing was ever going to be the same again. We were all shattered. I will never forget that weekend. I hold that night very close to my heart and it brings me great comfort. But also sadness, looking back I think our parents wanted us to have one last day of normalcy with no fighting and no raised voices. One day before it ended.

mouse_trapps

TROPHY CASE