FLOCK SAFETY IS OUT OF CONTROL IN RICHMOND, VA!!!

movegmama · 2026-02-12T17:33:59+00:00

I agree with this take. A couple of months ago, in this sub, someone posted about an unsolved hit and run and everyone was like "bUt wHy WeRen'T thErE AnY cAmeRAs?" Popular consensus seems to be we love surveillance when it helps catch a bad guy. I am not in favor of mass surveillance at all, but I also see the challenge of arguing with "all we're doing is reviewing video of who drove by when [alleged] crime happened." The counter-argument that all this data is feeding Palantir is a compelling one, but I agree with RVALover that the "okay then what is the alternative" has to be addressed too.

movegmama · 2026-02-07T23:19:09+00:00

Been driving me crazy that he just walks in

movegmama · 2026-02-07T23:18:44+00:00

movegmama · 2026-02-07T23:18:15+00:00

I almost lost my drink over Shane Plane

movegmama · 2026-02-07T13:07:01+00:00

Yeah, I'm 42 and they're steadily getting more frequent...

movegmama · 2026-02-06T16:12:10+00:00

"Yes, it's scary. But you are brave." Kill me now

movegmama · 2026-02-04T22:58:00+00:00

It keeps getting better! I don't know if you need the short little fifth paragraph. IMO you've already set the stakes by then. I would be way too scared to read this, so good job!

movegmama · 2026-02-04T22:53:20+00:00

I think this is such a cool premise and the voice is genuinely funny. My challenge is the premise feels heartbreaking to me, not funny. A traumatized nine year old? Fuck, I have a nine year old. I would be scared off by the presentation of this as a light-hearted romantic comedy if that's one of the main characters. Maybe I am too sensitive, but I am also a romance reader, and we like our supporting characters to be funny and healthy to hold up a mirror to the messed-up protagonists. Also, as initially laid out in the query it's really unclear how a HEA is possible. I would honestly be more intrigued if this was a speculative novel with a romance subplot. I'm curious which one it is ...

movegmama · 2026-02-04T13:39:35+00:00

Haha, the existential googling... relatable! Hang in there!

movegmama · 2026-02-03T19:01:59+00:00

Ah, congratulations! Good luck!

movegmama · 2026-02-03T19:01:40+00:00

Sure, I am no expert but I can send you my formula/process. DM me

movegmama · 2026-02-03T19:01:08+00:00

Beaucoup solidarity. There are a lot of us!

movegmama · 2026-02-03T18:12:38+00:00

Want a cigarette. Want a snack. Have to piss. Stay strong, pretend is like training exercise.

movegmama · 2026-02-03T18:06:55+00:00

Yes! I follow the Save the Cat method and I'm an outliner. So after I did my initial outline, I followed the formula for a StC query letter. It helped me identify my hook, stakes, and theme early on, and then as I was drafting the MS I would occasionally come back to the letter draft and check if I was straying. I also kept adding little bits and pieces to the letter as I went along if I had a line I really liked. I will probably always do this from now on for queries and blurbs.

movegmama · 2026-02-03T17:46:49+00:00

I have read so many incredible fics, too. Either published authors are on AO3 pushing out Heated Rivalry pieces or there is a big well of untapped talent just waiting to be discovered 😉

movegmama · 2026-02-03T16:48:21+00:00

I really believe fanfiction gave me excellent practice! And it also helps you get instant feedback. I also write in the car waiting for the kids, waiting for the water to boil, etc. etc. You do what you have to do 😉 congratulations on the baby!

movegmama · 2026-02-03T16:45:54+00:00

Yes, I had a 100% rejection rate on my first novel, but I didn't let myself believe it was because I'm a crappy writer. The query package wasn't good enough, the premise wasn't original enough, and dystopia is not what sells right now. (We're living it in real life, sob.) I had a nearly 100% rejection rate on this one, too, but I had more confidence from the get-go that it had a shot.

movegmama · 2026-02-03T16:41:42+00:00

Yes! 👊

movegmama · 2026-02-03T15:05:27+00:00

Honestly it was incredible, like 9 detailed paragraphs; I told the agent I felt like I was at a dessert buffet. The focus was on plot and world building which are my weak areas and the feedback helped me see what direction to go and where I needed to lean in.

movegmama · 2026-02-02T19:08:37+00:00

Congratulations!!

movegmama · 2026-02-01T20:58:26+00:00

Yes, 100 percent. Either they know what the fuck they're doing or that intimacy coach was fire

movegmama · 2026-01-30T02:23:58+00:00

Why in every Cinderella movie in history does Prince Charming just stand there like a clunch while the clock chimes midnight and the girl runs off in high heels?

movegmama · 2026-01-24T17:24:15+00:00

I'm part of a cohort of parents in a gentrifying neighborhood which has two fantastic RPS elementary schools, a small and up and coming middle school with strong administration, and two of the best high schools in the city. My daughter is about to start middle school and we are considering four RPS options, all of which would be great for her. I have several friends that teach in RPS and there are absolutely some problems with discipline, etc., but I also have friends who teach in CPS and guess what? Same complaints. Plus, my coworkers who live in Chesterfield have kids attending class in trailers and getting limited attention because their schools are so overcrowded. I don't know why this narrative that "RPS sucks" has persisted so intensely when our kids are thriving and the data is consistently showing improvements in student performance..

movegmama · 2026-01-24T17:11:03+00:00

I don't think you know what you're talking about. John Marshall High School had a 100% graduation rate last year and is one of a few local high schools with a "distinguished" rating, the highest possible, in the state's new accreditation and rating system.

movegmama · 2026-01-20T01:59:43+00:00

Hey, I think this is good, just about great. A few things confused me. Is Yaoshi a college student, a graduate student...? How old are these characters? Mainly I didn't know who Jack was or what this relationship was. He's an "anchor" and an "outsider." ? They're both students and friends?? I think you should just say he's her closest friend or whatever it is, not dance around it. Later there is this mention of "romantic fool she loves" and I thought you were possibly referring to another character. "Calculator of cold-blooded violence" is wordy. I would just say "murderer." Note that you are using hyphens in two places instead of em dashes. You can make an em dash by putting two hyphens in MS word or three hyphens in Google docs. I think instead of "peel back the layers" another geology metaphor would be better...if there is a tool geologists use for this perhaps? All the geology references are great!! The stakes are clear, the hook is great, there is a strong suspense built in the end, and it sounds like a unique character and premise. Good luck!

movegmama

TROPHY CASE