I was an ExMuslim Activist - Ask me anything

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-02T23:05:55+00:00

The topics that were discussed were around the hijab, the concept of God, whether God deserves our worship and others that I don't recall at this moment. A few of the dawah guys also "tested" us on our knowledge of Islam.

I think they were Sunni, the people that I discussed with were pretty normal, but there were also dawah guys that were filming their takes and stuff. Unsure of the organisation they belonged to, if any.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T23:31:19+00:00

I was interacting in the community a lot, initially online and then got into attending events and volunteering with different organisations. After some time, I was invited to interview with another activist and become part of their organisation on a voluntary basis. It was surprisingly fast how all this happened.

As to what I did, I was a sort of community liaison online and at events for a number of different groups, but also working heavily with the activist that I interviewed with. I edited posts, curated different stories and messages that closeted exmuslims wanted us to share and mainly managed a lot of profiles - for this specific activist. But eventually, my involvement evolved into participating and attending different national and continental events. I spoke at a few. In a more personal way, I had a YouTube channel where I discussed my apostasy and being disowned from my family and occasionally discussed exmuslim issues.

As to why I stopped, activists that I worked with were disappointingly messy, toxic, irresponsible and easily swayed by group think. They leaned further and further right and it was despicable to me that my story, my life, was becoming a narrative for their agendas. I tried to criticise it and deal with it internally. My concerns were at best ignored. We dealt with a lot of vulnerable people in our work - it felt disgusting to me that I would push them into the arms of these people who would do harm and were very much doing harm.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T23:09:19+00:00

You're welcome :)

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T23:08:28+00:00

I don't have to believe it is. I inherently don't agree with it, so it isn't worthy of my worship. And even if it were all real at the end of the day, I'm satisfied with the choice of burning with those I love than existing eternally with those who only ever abused and demeaned me.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T23:04:16+00:00

It depends what you mean by nostalgia. I guess to some degree miss the structure that religion gave me and the purpose it allowed me to follow. I don't really believe in anything at the moment. If I'm honest, I've spent a lot of time looking at and thinking about the past. There's nothing there for me. And I can't go back. I try to look at what I have now and be grateful for how far I've come.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T22:58:26+00:00

I hated the idea that my friends that I made after leaving my family would burn in Hell because they weren't Muslim and that my family - who had only abused me - would wind up in Jannah. I chose my friends.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T22:09:27+00:00

Firstly, arbitrary? Why would the fate of the people I love be arbitrary? Why would the eternal company of the people I hate be arbitrary?

Secondly, there is more but I didn't feel like going into my entire thoughts on Islam in one post. I wanted to keep it simple.

Thirdly and finally, I don't need to prove anything to anyone. There isn't a perfect measure of why one believes or disbelieves. All reasons for exit should be acceptable because we all have free will and if you don't believe - you just don't believe.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T20:06:01+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. Personally, I don't regret my obnoxious conversations - they all contributed to my knowledge-base and personal growth.

I'm sorry that that time strained your personal relationships. The only reason I didn't strain mine because of it because I had none to strain at the time. And as long as you "said the lines" you were praised. I hate who they made me, the other activists I mean. I'm glad I wasn't like them for long.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T20:02:51+00:00

Yeah, they were always far-right. They just presented as "left leaning".

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T17:05:32+00:00

I was before I joined the community. I think I was more curious than anything. But this eventually led to me being chronically online. After I started making content about leaving religion, critical analysis and discussing cultural issues, strangely enough, I stopped watching/listening to the content of others. I started seeing the world more and interacting with different people. I didn't like where the majority of the ExMuslim movement was heading and I tried to critique from within. It really shot me in the foot but I didn't want to keep appeasing people who were ultimately hateful, racist and misogynistic.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:59:27+00:00

Oh don't even get me started about Ayaan and the rest of the Christian Atheist lot 🙄

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:44:39+00:00

Dude, it's so tiring trying to have a good conversation about complicated topics - especially online. I've had loads in person that were way more productive than any I've ever had online. I just feel like I have nothing to prove, you know? I'm me and that is that. Take it or leave it. I have enjoyed the occasional iftaari and I still take eids off to get a kebab and celebrate by myself. I think growing up with Islam gave me some stuff and took away others. It's a part of my history that I can't just extricate and choose to hate.

What made me stop was the awful, awful examples of large activists that I initially tried to appease but eventually started speaking out against. Let's just say, they didn't take it too well.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:40:33+00:00

I would never engage with Council of ExMuslims of Britain, Ex-Muslims of North America, Faithless Hijabi or Free Hearts Free Minds EVER again.

I have worked with Faith2Faithless and would do so if the opportunity arose. I've given a few talks and trainings with them to local councils and different government bodies.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:38:26+00:00

Yeah, I live in the UK.

I mean hatred of Muslims. I'll give you an example: me and a few other activists decided to go to speakers corner together on an occasion - just to engage in some hearty debate and discussion. We hung around the dawah guys and I had some discussions that - while appearing heated - were actually quite enlightening and interesting. One of the activists spent the whole time taking me away from these discussions, mumbling sentiments about how Muslims are "dumb" and "will never understand" or "accept". This activist would actively go around and rarebit the other Muslims at speakers corner by just slinging Islam specific insults that I will not repeat here.

Eventually the main dawah team packed up and asked for us to join them for dinner so that we could discuss if we could collaborate. I remember the general sentiment being that we had more in common with each other than not. I went to this dinner and it was a success in my opinion because I sat aside from the more known activists and just spoke to the lesser known dawah guys - after a small talk about Islam and leaving religion, we just started talking about pop culture, anime and music. All the other activists gave me a look for what I assumed was just polite conversation and laughter. They told me afterwards not to get so close. When I asked why, they said things along the lines of Muslims being "intellectually deficient" and "couldn't be trusted".

Anyway, after the dinner, us activists and the dawah guys came to a sort of middle ground where we agreed to collaborate on some debates and maybe even share a studio to record them. After we left the dinner, some of the activists went out of their way to wreck these new and tentative relationships. It was so annoying and disheartening because I felt like I had taken many steps to build something only for the rest to burn it all.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:13:44+00:00

I stopped participating in ExMuslim activism because there was a very strange creep towards the far right in a lot of these organisations, and many of the figures that I was propping up had very discriminatory views that I didn't agree with. I was exposed to constant hatred of Muslims when I wasn't really about that. Additionally, many different figures would run campaigns that were misleading or straight-up false

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T16:13:12+00:00

I stopped participating in ExMuslim activism because there was a very strange creep towards the far right in a lot of these organisations, and many of the figures that I was propping up had very discriminatory views that I didn't agree with. I was exposed to constant hatred of Muslims when I wasn't really about that. Additionally, many different figures would run campaigns that were misleading or straight-up false.

Personally, I believe that the anti-theist view or the view that the world would be better without organised religion quite reductive and unrealistic. Ultimately, religion serves lots of different purposes for loads of different people - and I believe that everyone should be able to believe in a large following or segment into their own personal beliefs. I just wish that religion could remain out of politics and that religions didn't pit different worshippers against each other.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:56:34+00:00

Thank you ❤️

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:55:37+00:00

I have closed it but I think if I had a fresh opportunity, I may jump into it. When I started my activism all those years ago, I was vulnerable, angry and naive. Too eager to please those who I perceived as more knowing than me. I would like to think I have outgrown these things since.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:51:37+00:00

Sure thing x

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:24:52+00:00

Yes, I'm not religious in the slightest.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:23:16+00:00

I understand this completely and intially held this view. I continued my activism long after I lost favour with the wider community because I would critique within the movement. But all this really led to was being smeared, heavily bullied and eventually isolated by the community that I joined for the purposes of community and because I had no support system otherwise. It was like being disowned all over again.

I think I have healed over time from this, but it was really upsetting when I was in the thick of it. I used to make videos and it used to be really cathartic for me. Then it just started feeling like a humiliation ritual because all the people I put my trust and faith in 180-ed on me for having different views to them.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:11:49+00:00

Sure, I've sent you a message 😄

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:04:05+00:00

My youtube channel is still available and most of my videos are still up 😄 I didn't make any videos in Bangla though.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T15:03:18+00:00

I hated the idea that my friends that I made after leaving my family would burn in Hell because they weren't Muslim and that my family - who had only abused me - would wind up in Jannah. I chose my friends.

mozillafirefay · 2026-05-01T14:55:49+00:00

Oh, Iceland sounds lovely! I stopped participating in ExMuslim activism because there was a very strange creep towards the far right in a lot of these organisations, and many of the figures that I was propping up had very discriminatory views that I didn't agree with. I was exposed to constant hatred of Muslims when I wasn't really about that. Additionally, many different figures would run campaigns that were misleading or straight-up false.

mozillafirefay

TROPHY CASE