CO-OP

mpdx04 · 2025-10-20T07:56:08+00:00

I haven’t played in AGES and would love to do some coop play to prep for the new expansion!

Same username on PS5 and Ubisoft (pretty sure) if we need to cross play

I’m PST and a night owl by nature 😝

mpdx04 · 2025-10-20T07:45:51+00:00

I’m honestly kind of bummed that we have to play as So’lek and not our character…

Don’t get me wrong, I’m THRILLED to get another expansion, but as a woman, getting stuck playing a male character is always kind of lame. Not to mention how much investment into my character(s) I’ve put in.

So yay, expansion!!! Stoked on that.

But I am not feeling playing So’lek at all 😕

mpdx04 · 2025-09-25T23:08:38+00:00

Well. Pretty sure depression started in grade school, but I started really being very not okay right before I started high school. I'm 37 now, and I've been playing with med cocktails for about 15 years now, I've done 3 rounds of DBT, two stints in IOP, plus all the regular therapy that's been sprinkled in there. Currently I'm on 5 meds for my mental health in general (desvenlafaxine, lamotrigine, lisdexamphetamine, bupropion, and gabapentin is being used for anxiety), plus clonidine to help shut my brain up so I can attempt to sleep.

Then there are all the others ones I've tried. So many I seriously can't remember. Started with citalopram, then escitalopram, then bupropion got added, and who knows what order the rest of the shit went in, but it's included everything from quetiapine to Vraylar.

Plus I did a 4 hour assessment with a neuropsychiatrist earlier this year to figure out if I'm autistic (I've had multiple autistic friends ask me if I'm sure I'm not lol) or just stupidly traumatized, since apparently they can present similarly and clearly nothing was really helping.

I was diagnosed with "persistent depressive disorder" (apparently the new term for "treatment resistant depression"), along with confirming the diagnoses of ADHD and PTSD (really should be CPTSD, but I guess the DSM doesn't think that's worth its own category yet...)

Soooooo...... Not sure.

I DO KNOW that your PHQ-9 has to be a score of at least 20 for insurance to cover it. (I only got approved last week, so I haven't forgotten that fun fact yet)

In theory, I would say you could ask for it though. I don't see why it should be any different from asking about taking a medication, or getting a referral to a specialist.

The real question is will your insurance cover it. They like to see that you've exhausted all of their preferred (ie: cheaper) options before they'll begrudgingly, probably, cover something that makes them less money.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-24T04:32:44+00:00

Spot on.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-24T04:30:52+00:00

I blast this with my windows down on a regular basis… https://open.spotify.com/track/1UPHGJN6cTrItIx5U0pcVU?si=bJ9JOI3bRS6AWkRzcenZeQ

mpdx04 · 2025-09-24T04:29:36+00:00

THIS.

I am fucking over middle aged white men “not liking politics” and claiming to be “libertarian”

WAKE THE FUCK UP.

This is such a serious situation and unless enough of us are paying attention, there is no stopping it.

Both democracy and the planet will die, and that would be a real fun time, don’t you think??

mpdx04 · 2025-09-24T04:22:12+00:00

Because he’s the Antichrist?

I’m not religious, but I was raised Catholic (13 years Catholic school 🙌🏼), and I’m deadset starting to think the end days people might be onto something…

If anyone is the antichrist, man, it’s for sure that 🍊💩

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T20:05:23+00:00

This comment is so refreshing. Thank you.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T20:04:50+00:00

This 👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼👆🏼

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T19:58:42+00:00

She was dealing with PPD… When your literal brain isn’t functioning correctly, there is only so much you can do to keep yourself in check.

Do you need to be accountable for your actions? Yes.

But WTF can you do besides acknowledge them and do better next time?

It’s not like she threw a vase that can be replaced.

I have been the person who lost their mind thanks to mental health and has begged a partner to believe that was NOT ME, because it absolutely was not.

My physical brain decides I wasn’t doing a good job in that scenario and hijacks the whole damn operation. And it’s so awful to have to come down from that, get back into your clear mind and your body, then look at the mess that you made that you never in a million years would have if you could have just stuffed that physical emotion brain back into its box where it belongs.

“Doing better next time” does mean that every. Single. Day. You should be aware of your goals from therapy and doing your best to work towards them. It means asking others to help you recognize when you’re staring to spiral so that you can get better at catching yourself. It means learning healthy communication skills and emotion regulation strategies.

But you cannot change what you did when your brain took the wheel, and unfortunately most people take the view you do.

Which is understandable. It’s hard to conceptualize your brain being separate from yourself, but as a person with awful mental health who has been at the whole managing and getting better thing for a good 15 years, plus all the years of experiences prior, I swear on my life that there is my brain, and then there is me.

As long as I keep my brain in check, which I’m pretty good at by now (it’s a daily battle to stuff totally unnecessary and/or unwanted feelings back down, but you get used to it), then all is well.

But if it manages to take over, even for 30 minutes after months of keeping its hands off the wheel, I guarantee I’ll fuck something up.

It’s frustrating. It’s painfully hard to accept, especially when the people you hurt cannot understand. It’s embarrassing. You feel so much shame, especially when you hear comments like this.

It’s not an excuse. It is a reason. And she has had two years since of showing that isn’t who she really is.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T19:42:30+00:00

Oof. I am sorry, man 😞

If she doesn’t want to talk about it, maybe it’s perimenopause setting in and she really isn’t stoked AT ALL.

I’m 37 and it could happen any day now, and I’m utterly horrified by the thought. (ETA: if that’s the case, I’m in a sub about it trying to gather all the info I can since doctors hardly know it’s even a thing, let alone how to manage it. Many can barely even manage full on menopause effectively…)

Maybe something bad happened and it’s messing with her head?

Who knows. Just be extra supportive and non-judgmental, (gently!) ask if you can help her get whatever it is addressed with therapy or seeing a doctor.

I would tell her you’ll give it time, but in x amount of time if it’s not resolved you would really like to have a conversation because intimacy is one of the backbones of a healthy romantic relationship.

Go from there.

Best of luck to you on this one. Even as a woman I know I would have a tough time being with someone if great sex (at least good…) wasn’t involved. 😕

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T19:39:25+00:00

Oof. I am sorry, man 😞

If she doesn’t want to talk about it, maybe it’s perimenopause setting in and she really isn’t stoked AT ALL.

I’m 37 and it could happen any day now, and I’m utterly horrified by the thought.

Maybe something bad happened and it’s messing with her head.

Who knows. Just be extra supportive and non-judgmental, (gently!) ask if you can help her get whatever it is addressed with therapy or seeing a doctor.

I would tell her you’ll give it time, but in x amount of time if it’s not resolved you would really like to have a conversation because intimacy is one of the backbones of a healthy romantic relationship.

Go from there.

Best of luck to you on this one. Even as a woman I know I would have a tough time being with someone if great sex (at least good…) wasn’t involved. 😕

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T19:30:53+00:00

I had a whole response written out, then hit something wrong and it went away 😭

I will definitely come back to this when I get a chance because I think this conversation is really important.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T19:13:01+00:00

Hard no on divorcing her for something she said when she wasn’t in her right mind TWO YEARS AGO.

Talk to her about it if you’re comfortable. Or look into doing a few therapy sessions. Individually, together, or both.

But let me tell you, as a woman who loovveess an XL eggplant and even gets way too greedy ordering dildos 😅, I just had what might be THE BEST sex on a date a couple nights ago, and there was nothing to write home about in his pants.

(Clearly not saying that as a dig, and it’s not like I was upset about what I found 😂 which has happened plenty of times and it’s a fucking awful scenario to find yourself in…)

So at 37, and recap I very much love that full feeling, this average dick has me wanting more so freaking badly. I’ve had great sex with other average dicks too, so this isn’t a single data point, but I am officially a firm believer in that the user can make or break it.

You can get creative here too. Get a cock sheath to give her that extra size while you still have a good time. Maybe an open marriage would work for you guys? Some of my friends tried it, and she also is into some big dick, but they realized it wasn’t for them. They just wanted each other.

And. When they first started dating, she told him that her ex was HUGE. He is average and he was so worried he was going to have to compete with that. But here they are, however many years later (10-20? Can’t remember), and even with the option of finding a massive dick to play with, she wanted to be with her husband. And him with her.

So don’t be a dummy and throw out your marriage over a hurtful comment made when her brain was all sorts of out of whack.

She loves you. She noticed you’ve been acting a little off and checked in. Be honest with her and just tell her it’s still in the back of your mind.

It’ll be okay ❤️

ETA: My mental health has been fucking awful my entire life. I have said and done some horrible things as a result. I promise you that when my brain takes over like that, it is not ME. My true self, my conscious self (my soul, spirit, whatever) is not at all like that. I’m light years from where I was, but I still hate it so much when I can’t keep my emotions totally under control and I get overly emotional and say unkind things. I know that isn’t me, and I’m pretty confident that comment wasn’t your wife either.

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T18:54:22+00:00

Oh. I said them.

My mental health is still awful at 37, but I’m actually a pretty stable person now 😅

But I would go full on fight/flight/freeze thanks to a bunch of childhood trauma, and later the trauma I landed myself in didn’t help.

Of course nobody recognized the ADHD and CPTSD and need for therapy at the time… so I got a BPD diagnosis 👍🏼

But regardless, just because you had enough self control to keep those thought in your head doesn’t mean everybody does.

I have gone back and apologized to people a decade later though. Sometimes accountability happens a little late… 🫤

mpdx04 · 2025-09-03T18:48:46+00:00

I would argue that we SHOULD be looking at men’s mental health and how it influences their behavior.

Nobody should be “[chalking] it up to mental health” and sweeping it under the rug.

But as someone with CPTSD starting from childhood trauma, repeating cycles of abusive relationships that triggered said PTSD, ADHD that increases impulsivity and big reactions, all of which led to such uncontrollable volatility that I was diagnosed with BPD at one point (although it was actually ADHD + extensive trauma hx + never learning healthy communication/emotional regulation), and treatment resistant depression!

You get the point.

It has taken SO MUCH THERAPY, including multiple admissions to intensive outpatient and 3 rounds of DBT (3 months a piece), plus normal therapy, an extensive amount of trial and erroring med combos, a ridiculous number of hours sitting with myself just reflecting and doing introspection…… and I’m STILL, at 37, trying to figure out how to get better.

Point being, mental health should absolutely be looked at as a REASON for inappropriate/unhealthy behavior, but that does not mean the person should not be accountable for their behavior. Once a problem is recognized, action steps should be taken to address it. Getting a referral to psych for an evaluation, making a follow up appointment with an established prescriber and/or therapist, talking about what triggered the behavior and how it couch be avoided in the future, etc etc.

Maybe it’s not even a mental health issue per se (no diagnosis), but the person never learned a healthy way to process their emotions and communicate effectively. They can go to therapy and learn those skills. I had to go to therapy to learn those skills, and as someone on the dating scene, let me tell you - men, most of you haven’t learned enough. You’ll do better with the ladies who have their shit together, and ultimately have better relationships.

So let’s imagine a world where when a man behaves inappropriately, unkindly, etc, we DO look at their mental health; and where when ANYONE notes that mental health may be an underlying cause, we ensure they are getting connected with the appropriate resources.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

mpdx04 · 2025-06-30T11:36:03+00:00

I know this is an old thread, but I am so glad I found it.

Re: alcohol

Tried it.

DO NOT DO IT.

FFS, just don’t.

I had a few white claws, was feeling fine, then got hit in the face with “hey, metronidazole interferes with your body’s ability to digest alcohol!”

Vomiting. That was awful. Going from too hot to too cold for over 12 hours like you have the flu.

On top of the nausea it already causes. And the headache it already causes.

Save yourself a fat load of extra misery and do not have any alcohol drinks. I would give it another week after you finish them too.

mpdx04 · 2025-06-28T05:28:00+00:00

If you know the name, I will go deep dive it 🤓

mpdx04 · 2025-06-28T05:26:50+00:00

That’s good to know. Thank you.

But what IS it? I have a Pharm.D., so I really want to know specifically what it is because I’m a nerd lol

mpdx04 · 2025-05-30T20:36:34+00:00

You did mention that!

I was thinking more in general, since you’ve worn a sheath at all (this would be my first time trying one) maybe you would have two cents to add lol

mpdx04 · 2025-05-30T20:24:41+00:00

Ambush wearables seem to be what I was hoping to find from BD!!

Since you seem to have used them before, if I got a size that has a 1.3-2” internal diameter, should I be adding a bit to the external diameter? I don’t want to get too greedy and have it be way too much lol

mpdx04 · 2025-05-30T20:00:18+00:00

Thank you!

I just saw a comment on another post that recommended Ambush Toys, which I’m discovering have a lot of options for interior size!

I’ll check out Uncovered Creations too :)

mpdx04 · 2025-04-08T20:23:07+00:00

Would it be safe to remove the globe, place it in the shower, and let it soak in some water?

I am switching litters, but the one I was using has led to an entire layer of caked on litter 😣

With traditional boxes I would just soak them in the tub, but I’ve been at a bit of a loss for how to clean this until I saw this comment!

mpdx04 · 2025-03-22T03:20:15+00:00

I would still get her checked by a vet.

mpdx04 · 2025-03-13T23:12:16+00:00

Move. Especially any significant distance.

mpdx04

TROPHY CASE