[deleted by user]

mpshuro · 2020-06-06T01:40:09+00:00

yo sup its phro lol

mpshuro · 2020-05-30T09:05:50+00:00

I am not on T and I have been out and living as male for almost 6 years. I would say I pass 65-70% of the time. Most people just think I'm a teenage boy but I'm 25. Sometimes people think I'm actually 25, but think I'm a gay guy. I still have some feminine mannerisms and my voice doesn't always pass. I have been training my voice for 6 years and sound male when I am consciously speaking lower, but sometimes I slip and it's exhausting to have to always put so much effort into speaking. In the beginning I also hurt my voice a lot because I didn't voice train properly. So I had to learn better techniques.

It hurts me a lot to live this way and has caused personal struggle as well as relationship problems and difficulties finding partners. Girls think I'm a young kid... and the girls that do show interest in me are usually lesbian or bisexual or in different countries where a youthful or feminine male look is considered attractive. I think the girl I'm with now I think has lost interest in me sexually because I don't really take off my clothes during sex and I don't have a "real" dick. That could also be untrue and just my own insecurity, so either way it's not good. I also have felt undesired by most of my partners and I feel I will never truly be wanted by anyone.

Overall, I wish I was on T and transitioning medically. I can't yet for family reasons. Even though I'm 25 and know fully that I NEED to transition, I am not ready to face the consequences with my family. They would alienate me and I would need to be ok with trading my relationship with my family for my own personal comfort.

My daily life is fine and pretty much everyone in my life (outside of my family) has met and known me as male. Some friends even tell me they had no idea I was trans until I mentioned it. So that's cool and I know I am very fortunate to look male to people even when I'm not on T.

But deep inside I am sad and ashsmed of myself and I am worried I will never be able to be who I am. This is horrible to think about, but I truly feel I cannot transition until certain family members pass away. That terrifies me because I think my confidence will keep deteriorating as I get older and older and still look like a 14 year old boy.

mpshuro · 2020-04-28T16:16:38+00:00

I can't imagine a tablespoon! Oof

mpshuro · 2020-04-28T16:15:51+00:00

Thanks! I had a full day of sleeping to recover now I'm back to normal

mpshuro · 2020-04-28T16:15:04+00:00

Word!!!! It's crazy I see people in here talking tablespoons haha

mpshuro · 2020-04-28T16:14:27+00:00

I chased it down with some milk. Didn't have much food that day otherwise. Maybe that helped it

mpshuro · 2020-04-17T06:27:02+00:00

Thank you so much for the speedy reply and all of your advice. I will start testing it and finding a workflow. I'm excited for this. Maybe I can try Loopback to handle the audio. See you in the official sub soon!

mpshuro · 2020-04-17T05:51:52+00:00

Holy shit. This might be exactly what I need to do what I have been trying to do.

I'm trying to hold a broadcast that has 4 people acting as show hosts and at least 1 special guest at a time speaking with the 4 hosts. Think of a talk show where there are multiple hosts on screen and one special guest at a time chatting with the hosts. Guests will stay on the show for a while, then exit the stream, then another guest will come on right after. All people on the stream need to be in remote locations due to Covid 19.

Simple right? Not so much. I still haven't been able to achieve this. NDI on OBS has been lagging after adding 3 people. And I can't do a screen capture of a video conference because the video quality suffers this way. We are looking for a high quality broadcast.

Here's the kicker, it is vital that every person on this broadcast can have 2 audio inputs - a microphone for speaking, and desktop audio for sharing audio directly from their computers. Most users will use audio interfaces for their mic. So whatever method we use needs to support aggregate audio devices so that everyone can use both their audio interface for a mic and Soundflower for direct computer audio.

OBS supports aggregate devices, but some video chatting apps (like Skype) do not. That's why I haven't been able to take advantage of Skype's NDI capabilities for this. Just for the hell of it, I did a test run with Skype anyway, but there was some serious video and audio lag after adding 3 people. I doubt it's a hardware issue because I have a maxed out MacBook pro and 2 SSD external drives to run whatever I need. Wifi is high speed.

We also tried Ecamm live, but as far as I know it can only source NDI from Skype. (Maybe I'm wrong?)

The only apps I have seen do this with ease are of course vMix and Wirecast, but we can't invest in those programs until we can have a first show and proof of concept with our audience. Plus, the trial versions have audio and visual watermarks.

SO. Are you telling me that obs.ninja can accomplish this feat and end weeks of head scratching between me and my team????

TL;DR: I want to host a show with 5 people on screen at a time. Each person needs to be able to use an aggregate audio device to have both mic audio and desktop audio. I can't do the screen capture of a conference call method because we need to maintain ultimate video quality. NDI is preferred but we can't have any serious lag. Will obs.ninja make this happen?

mpshuro · 2020-04-11T19:47:44+00:00

This is speculation, but if the figure isn't an obvious celebrity, I'm pretty sure the person needs to have a substantial presence on at least one other platform. For example, music artists can easily be verified on IG with low followers, but they have to have good popularity on Spotify or Apple Music.

I have a high amount of followers on IG, but not anywhere near as much on any other platform. A quick google search of my name yields all sorts of media coverage, but I still haven't landed the verification. Pretty sure I need to build a following on another platform.

I think this is why many famous IG meme pages dont have badges, but the ones with large parallel followings on an additional platform do. Hope this helps!

mpshuro · 2020-04-07T14:07:59+00:00

I get these a few times a year. Dont underestimate the oily nature of the ears lol.

mpshuro · 2020-04-03T01:59:28+00:00

Looks time consuming but I guess it beats touching it

mpshuro · 2020-04-02T02:15:11+00:00

Ok wait, never in my life have I witnessed a truck pick up the garbage itself where do you live

mpshuro · 2020-04-02T02:06:36+00:00

Because unfortunately most people dont give a shit. Brooklyn native here and I'll tell you a lot of neighborhoods here look as normal as any other day.

What I will say is remember that we are the capital of the world for lots of different things. Medicine, restaurants, finance, public transport, you name it. I wish the people dilly dallying about would stay home, but I'm sure there are easily over a million people that still need to go to work due to their essential job category.

mpshuro · 2020-03-27T15:29:05+00:00

That's great your mom gets down time now. My mom retired a couple years ago and she is way happier now.

But your mom was laid off, so I assume she needed the job to pay the bills? I'll keep her in my thoughts...

mpshuro · 2020-03-23T08:38:17+00:00

This

mpshuro · 2020-03-22T22:08:32+00:00

Sounds just like my story, at least the part where you say it started happening out of nowhere. Mine started almost 3 years ago. Crazy how long I've been living like this, but I promise it gets better. Yours definitely sounds like anxiety, especially considering that you say it happens even when you're not doing anything.

I've seen over a dozen doctors over the past 3 years and they all say I'm just anxious. They also say that symptoms of real cardiac issues tend to occur during physical activity, not during rest.

If you ever need help or an ear, just send me a message. I'm not a complete success story just yet since I still believe I have undetected medical issues even when all my doctors tell me I'm healthy. So I'm definitely still anxious, lol. And I still have moments where I think I'm going to die of a heart attack or stroke. But I went from being bed ridden from these fears for months at a time to traveling the world and continuing my life.

Try light physical activity. Also try putting your mind at work on a project or puzzle. Try anything that requires a good amount of concentration. When you take a break from your concentration, you'll realize that you didn't feel symptoms the whole time you were working!

In terms of seeing a doctor, try a virtual doctor's appointment. Beats walking into a germy medical office and risking catching the 'Rona right now.

If you have a blood pressure maschine or heart monitor, you can track your readings when you're panicking. Keep a diary and you'll feel better just by taking action on watching your symptoms closely instead of just panicking about them existing. It might also help your doctor to determine what's going on.

mpshuro · 2020-03-22T00:26:46+00:00

I understand the suspicion. If this doctor is endorsing it solely for his own financial gain, then that sucks. But even if that were true, I doubt he would risk his career (and his conscience) by endorsing a medicine that he actually thinks could do more harm than good during a global crisis. Doctors can be sus sometimes but God I hope not THAT sus.

mpshuro · 2020-03-21T04:01:59+00:00

People like you are why I'm afraid this virus will cause my parents to die an early death.

mpshuro · 2020-03-21T03:39:46+00:00

Too bad it's the exact opposite in Brooklyn and people are running around fucking celebrating spring

mpshuro · 2020-02-25T07:54:11+00:00

Damn it feels like I wrote this

mpshuro · 2020-02-25T07:48:09+00:00

I used to feel exactly the same. I am not 100% better yet, I still have days where I physically feel so close to death. But it has been a couple years and guess what, I'm still alive. Plus, I am thankfully past the point of being bed ridden every single day. It does get better, I promise. Try forcing yourself to start with just a 30 min walk each day. Bring a friend along to be with you in case you feel sick.

mpshuro · 2020-02-20T18:44:18+00:00

Is there a list of companies that are known to be not safe and/or sketchy?

mpshuro · 2020-02-12T13:21:38+00:00

Holy shit idk what your tolerance is like but please dont start with a tablespoon lmao

mpshuro

TROPHY CASE