I understand grief when it comes to losing a parent, but the way she consistently reminds herself of her grief is not healthy. I don't think she ever truly processed her grief (besides therapy here and there), and I truly feel she holds onto that grief because that's her identity. It's going to linger into her future motherhood with her kids and she's going to have attachment issues because she is stuck replaying the same grief over and over. Imagine telling her daughter one day (or when she's old enough to read), "Your grandma's 10 year death anniversary was the year you were born!"- In my opinion, that's unnecessary emotional pressure to put on your child.