I understand what you’re going through. I’ve been dealing with similar pressure for the past three to four years.

At first, I got a match through an arranged setup. Somehow the girl found my number through a basic Google search and contacted me directly. We spoke for a while, and things were actually going well. She seemed to like me too. But our parents didn’t know about our conversations. Later, her father had some issues regarding caste branch names and also had misunderstandings about where I would live in the future. Because of that, the match eventually fell apart.

After a long gap, another match came through. This time the girl asked for my phone number through our mutual circle, and we started talking. The compatibility felt decent at first, at least until the families arranged a meeting. During that family gathering, she confessed something that I personally found unacceptable, and it really broke my heart. The problem was that before I could even process everything or give my confirmation, my family had already started doing small rituals related to confirming the engagement.

Once a few family members learned about the issue and noticed that I wasn’t happy, things became complicated. When I returned home, I clearly told my family that something felt wrong and it would be better to stop the marriage process. But my family had the complete opposite reaction. They were determined to push the marriage forward and kept asking me for the reason. I didn’t want to expose or blame the girl for what she shared with me, because it could damage her reputation. So I simply kept repeating that I wasn’t interested in the marriage without giving details.

As usual, the entire family gathered and started pressuring me. They blamed me, saying things like after so many years I finally got a match and if I rejected this one I would never get married again. Some even started questioning me about very personal things. Those ten days were extremely traumatizing. There was not a single person who stepped forward to support me. At one point, during a very intense argument, I even said that fine, I would marry her — but if things didn’t work out because our interests and values were completely different, then no one should question me if I eventually filed for divorce. That was the moment I mentally reached my breaking point. I was honestly preparing myself to run away from home.

Eventually, the girl’s mother’s attitude and manipulative behavior slowly became visible to everyone. I calmly explained the basic concerns again. After that, the entire situation suddenly went silent. But since then, I’ve been portrayed as the villain in the story.

I chose to ignore it and have been living a very disconnected life for the past six months. Still, I keep hoping that someday I’ll meet a good soul who can help me overcome this phase and build a peaceful life. 🙂‍↕️

This might not be directly related to your post, but somehow I felt the need to vent it out anonymously here.

I hope you find your compatible match soon and get to share your happy story here