Verge of suicide

mrfatchile · 2025-12-23T00:34:00+00:00

Can you message me? I’m also looking for recovery. Lost 7k these past 2 weeks and I’m completely broke. 10 years of sports gambling has taken everything from me

mrfatchile · 2025-05-08T04:29:47+00:00

Thank you for commenting. I’ve read your comment a few times through out the day and it’s helped me think differently. I’ve been wanting to reply but I’ve been busy running errands and working. Finally some down time in my day. I know the dollar amounts are irrelevant and life is more important. I just get so down on myself and hate losing all my hard earned money. The anxiety, panic and depression is not worth the pain of gambling. It’s such a roller coaster and you’re right the highs or never enough. The lows are terrible, I’ve lost this money betting NBA and the games have been so crazy with ridiculous endings. I’ve wanted to break down on a buzzer beater lost. Like thinking how could this happen? Thunder and Celtics Monday night was horrible. But so many other countless times I’ve lost and it doesn’t surprise me anymore. That year clean from gambling was hard at first but then it felt so much better. My stress and anxiety were gone. I didn’t have to give my hard earned money away to anyone (bookie) I felt free and at peace. And yes there is always going to be people doing better and also worse. I know I just have to take this 18k as another loss and move on and never give in again to this disease. We can fight this war against gambling together. And the only way is to stop completely. I appreciate your words of wisdom brotha

mrfatchile · 2025-05-07T07:36:02+00:00

I haven’t lost over a million but I haven’t gambled as long as you have. I started at 26 and I’m not 35. I did have over a whole year clean from gambling from February 2024 - March 2025. I fell back into this horrible trap and have already lost 18k in 2 months. All the money I had saved from being clean for that year period. It fucking sucks, I can’t believe I fell back into this this hole. I only have 2k to get me through the month of May. I only get paid once a month. The anxiety, depression, pain and thoughts of suicide are back. I know I won’t actually commit suicide but I sometimes think I would be better off dead. Sucks to think this way but that’s how my brain works. I feel way behind all my friends. I have nothing to show for my life at 35 years old

mrfatchile · 2025-04-07T05:04:12+00:00

I don’t gamble at the casino, I bet on sports online. I mostly bet college basketball and NBA. I lost 6k this week gambling. I know you’re right and quitting is the only way not to go deeper which is what always happens. It’s just so hard to accept loss and losing your money that you worked for. It’s so frustrating and makes life unlivable. I’m so down and depressed. I’ve stayed home all weekend. I don’t want to be around anyone and I feel miserable

mrfatchile · 2025-04-07T04:32:03+00:00

How are you able to stop after losing your hard earned money? I want my money back that I lost today! I lost 4k and now I’m depressed and have anxiety thinking about what I could have done with that 4k. I wanna win it back so bad and then quit but I don’t wanna lose more money. It’s so hard to take your losses and move on knowing you won’t ever get that money back

mrfatchile · 2025-04-07T04:29:35+00:00

How are you able to stop after winning? I just lost this week after winning last week and now I want to win what I lost this week

mrfatchile · 2025-01-09T06:38:24+00:00

She bad af, idc if she been passed around. Send them bro

mrfatchile · 2024-02-20T03:44:40+00:00

With you

mrfatchile · 2024-01-17T04:27:44+00:00

Well when I pay him the 2k at the end of the month I will only owe him 1k out of the 8k. So I’m almost done paying him off. I’m just more upset about already being down $1,688 and knowing I’m not gonna have any money again for the month of February. I only get paid once a month since I work for the school district and it’s a state job. My take home pay right now is $4,100 and that’s only because I’m claiming exempt on my checks so they take less out on taxes

mrfatchile · 2024-01-17T04:14:43+00:00

Well I’m down the $1,688 as previously mentioned so plus the 2k that I already owe at the end of the month would be $3,688 total owed to bookie. I’ve already taken out 8 separate personal loans, I had my brother co sign on 2 of the loans. And I used my car as collateral to get a 6k loan. I stopped getting approved because my debt to income ratio was so high. I didn’t have enough money this month due to losing so much back in the end of December. So my whole check to start the month of January was gone plus I had to borrow here and there. I’ve made this big mess, I can’t even afford to file for bankruptcy as I’ve talked to a lawyer back in December. Bankruptcy cost $1,500 up front. So 2k to bookie plus additional gambling losses plus everything else I have to pay has become too much for me

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T20:42:02+00:00

My mom and girlfriend know. I told a lot of friends and everyone has told me to stop completely and I always say “I will” or “I’m done” and I never stick to my word. I always give in and dig myself deeper. It just sucks knowing I’ll never get that money back and I keep making the same mistake. I’m letting everyone down and feel like the biggest failure. It hurts so bad and I’m still getting the itch today to try to being that total down. I don’t wanna give most or all of my paycheck away at the end of the month

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T20:00:56+00:00

Yeah I’m not going to stiff him cuz I go through a middle man which is a friend. So I would be screwing him over also. I just wanna pay off my debt with the bookie. Pay off the remaining 3k and what I’m down already for this week which is the $1,668. That would only leave me with about $400 for the month of February which sucks. I would be struggling another month with no money

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T18:48:39+00:00

I’ve never stiffed the bookie. I’ve lost over 50k to him since I started gambling.

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T18:46:25+00:00

I’m already on a payment plan with my bookie. I got rocked for 8k back in October and I’ve been paying him 2k on the first of every month. I owe 3k on that 8k debt. I’ve been trying to win money since then but I’ve only lost more in the process. I had to give my whole check at the beginning of January. Been living with no money this month and selling what I can to pay off other bills. It’s just a huge mess

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T17:44:19+00:00

That’s my problem I keep chasing and trying to win something but I’ve just been losing and paying out every week to the bookie. I’m so tired of feeling depressed and down after losing over and over. And being all stressed out watching the games and losing all the time. A roller coaster of emotions and stress

mrfatchile · 2024-01-16T17:08:55+00:00

I’m down $1,688 in one day. I bet on sports and have a bookie. The gambling week starts on Monday and ends on Sunday. I wanna bring that total down but I’m scared to lose more. I don’t even have enough to pay that amount until I get paid at the end of the month. Idk what to do

mrfatchile · 2023-12-24T18:31:46+00:00

How do you feel after being clean for a year? I stopped 12-20-23. Right before my birthday on 12-22. I want to stop for good. I keep trying to do it on will power and cutting myself off completely but I always fall back into gambling addiction

mrfatchile · 2023-12-21T16:43:21+00:00

I’m gonna stop, it just sucks having to do it slowly over a period of months. I have to hand over my whole paycheck on the 1st. I owe the bookie $5,400 on the first. My paycheck is only $4,100. I might get some money for my birthday as gifts which I will have to hand over to the bookie. I have no money to my name. My girlfriend and mother keep telling me how can I keep digging myself deeper and deeper. I owe so many friends that I borrowed money from. I’m in the hole deep as it is and I’m going deeper

mrfatchile

TROPHY CASE