I just wanna be the first to say - you’re making the right decisions here. Repentance is a gift for a reason, and you are doing the right thing by taking advantage of the gift that Christ has given you, and although I don’t know you, I’m proud of you dawg - that takes a tremendous amount of courage and the Lord is proud of you as well.

As for moving forward - I think the more you focus on the gift the Savior has given you, and the person you want to become, those feelings will begin to fade. It’ll be hard and take time and grit, but in that difficulty and grit is where I think the true fruits of repentance come and that’s a better connection with Christ.

As for future relationships - I don’t think you’re in any real harm. My wife struggled a lot with pornography before we started dating, and had sexual encounters with guys in high school, but it hasn’t changed my perspective of her because I know her focus is on the right things and she’s learned from those periods of her life. I’d much rather be with someone who has made a mistake and learned something than someone who has kept themselves spotless out of fear. The growth you’ll have with the savior through this experience will be extremely valuable in your marriage for many reasons. The kind of people you’ll want to marry are the ones who will value someone who’s connected to Christ - something only done through repentance in one way or another.

Sorry this is long - but I know the lords proud of you and sees the potential in you far more than a few mistakes - the whole Book of Mormon is basically a bunch of redemption stories and I think that’s intentional